I was orginally diagnosed with bc in March 2006, had a lumpectomy followed by EPI x4, radiation and the CMF. I did not get any tablets after all the treatment was finished in September 2006 as the cancer was triple negative and does not respond to herceptan or hormaone tablets. I has just been told that I have secondaries in my liver and lungs, the oncolgist said they are very small and is putting me on taxotere asap.
I am 38 and have 2 girls 9 and 6 and am really stuggling with how to cope with all of this. I visited a Maggies Cancer Centre today and am going to go along and have a chat with someone there but at the moment I am absolutely terrified.
Is there anybody that can give me some positive news to up my spirits at the moment. I can’t bear the thought of not seeing my kids growing up but more importantly I can’t bear the possibility that they will have to face losing their Mum and how they will manage to cope with that.
Any comments to up my spirits would be much appreciated.
I am so sorry to hear of your diagnosis and totally understand how you are feeling. I am older than you but my children were 4 & 5 when I was first diagnosed with breast cancer that had spread to my liver. I didn’t know if I would see my daughter begin school or what the future held at all. I was very scared for a long time, and I am still scared but I have so far had 2 1/2 years of good living, even though I have been on chemo most of the time. Most days, though, are good days, and I scarcely think about my disease. It does take a long time to get your head round a diagnosis like this, but in time, it becomes the new ‘normal’ for most of us. Many of us cannot have herceptin and many more do not respond to hormonal treatments (me included). However, there are many chemos out there to keep the cancer under control hopefully for a long period of time.
I hope you will find lots of support and information from all the people on this board - they are a great bunch.
I’m 42 and have a 6-month old baby boy - I totally understand how scared you are feeling right now and am so sorry that you have had this diagnosis.
There are quite a few of us with little ones in the same situation.
I was originally dx in June 2000 - WLE, CMF, Zoladex, rads and Tamoxifen.
I was dx with secondaries in August 2007 - bones - 2 days after having baby!!
(Left hip/pelvis and spot on rib)
I am currently on Zometa, Zoladex and Tamoxifen - waiting to have my ovaries out so that I can try Arimidex - as there has been spread!!!
I’ve not been much help really but just wanted to let you know that you are not on your own - please ask about anything on this forum. Everyone is great!!
It really has helped me be more positive. Its been 6 months for me now - and generally speaking, I have more good days than bad.
It truly is a wicked disease - no-one deserves this
I’m so sorry to hear your news and I am sure you are in a state of shock/panic - all emotions really. I found the first few weeks after dx really difficult - so much info to take in and so much to adjust to (I have liver secondaries, picked up last June after a blood test). But as Jenny says, you do adjust and it becomes easier. It never can go back to what it was before but I like Jenny’s way of describing it as a new “normal” - with all the everyday highs and lows alongside the rollercoaster of the cancer. And there are really a lot of chemo treatments out there - no-one can tell you which will work for you but there are many options. In fact you will find out that there are many of us with secondaries in the liver - and nearly all of us seem to be receiving a different treatment!
I feel sure you will get a lot of support from this site - I certainly have. So do post and let us know how we can help.
Its a terrible shock really isnt it…I am 43 and have liver secondaries, I have a 12 year old. Really had begun to relax a bit and then wham!
What I wanted to tell you is I am writing this from work, i am having taxotere and things have responded reasonably, so it is a new normal, its not the same, totally different . there are tons of chemos out there and different options for people,
I would encourage you to try the maggies centre-I wish I had one here, the one or two support things that I have tried have been very very helpful, and the people I have met have been great,
please post here and let us know how you are getting on…time to go home from work !
Sorry to hear your news too. Like Kay said it is a rollercoaster of emotion this journey we are all on. I am 39 years old and have a 4 year old daughter and 1 year old son. I was diagnosed last July with bc and told 10 days later that had spread to my liver too.
I was absoluely devastated and think went through every single emotion known to man. I didn’t think I would see my litle boys first birthday, nor christmas. All I really want now is to see my babies grow up and get through school. I have to say that I did find things got easier once I started chemo, and knew that I was fighting back and doing everything possible to help me fight.
The children will help you through this I promise, as you have to “live life as normally as you can” for them with your routines etc, and it does help, well it does me, as I have no time to sit and dwell really. My little man keeps me well busy as he is never still for more than 5 mins. But they make me laugh and smile and give me so much to fight for.
Your post echoes so much of my thoughts. I am on Herceptin now, so cannot help with other treatments, as quite a newbie really, but you will get so many responses. Also we have another thread going called “Anyone with liver secondaries” and we are a great group of ladies, have met once recently and plan to meet again, so join in if you can.
You will get lots of support on here. I don’t know what I would have done without it. We laugh, smile and cry together.
Take care and sending lots of love. Let us know how you are doing.
Hello
I have only just started posting on here but I have been looking around for a while. I was diagnosed in March last year with Mets in liver, lungs and neck. This was at first diagnosis my GP thought I had Pneumonia. At the time I ws told that I may have only 3- 4 months . But I had FEC last year which did a good job and I am now on Arrimidex and Zoladex injections. I also have a new lump in my R breast but I have just been told that this is now shrinking.
So I just really wanted to say that it has helped me on this site and reading all the comments by all of the other lovely ladies who have had secondaries much longer than me.
I have 3 children 17 11 and 8 and they have kept me going, I havn’t had time to think about myself too much. Last year was a bit of a blur but this year I feel much more confident that I can beat this thing.
Thanks for all your responses, I makes me feel less alone. I am going to the Maggie Centre today to try and get my head around this. I have just found out that I start my chemo on Wednesday (which seems a lifetime away!). I feel like at least when there is something inside me to fight this it will make me feel better, at the moment I’m finding it hard to cope, I know i will get there I’m just not sure how - I can’t eat or sleep at the moment I feel like I am in the most horrendous nightmare.
Anyway, I’m hopefully going to speak to a woman at the Maggies Cancer Centre in Edinburgh today and start my head thinking in a more positive way. Funny enough when the kids are around I find the strength it’s just when I’m on my own I crumble.
Hi Diane,
So sorry you have to join us here, you are lucky to have a Maggie’s Centre close to you. I’m sure you will find them very helpful to get your head around the whole horrible situation.
Take care,
Allie
I Hope you found speaking to someone at the Maggies Centre helpful-I have been seeing a social worker from my local Marie Curie centre every month or so, and together with this site, have found it very helpful. I have a 3 year old, and know how frightening thinking about the future is. I will have been diagnosed with primary and secondaries a year in April, and whilst it doesn’t get easier, you do begin to adjust -with kids I think you just have to get on with it.
Thinking of you and please let us know ho your getting on
We have a similar story - I was diagnosed in Nov05 with Grade 3 lump with 1 node affected…triple neg. I had mastectomy EPI/CMF and rads. Diagnosed with secondaries to eyes, lung, liver and bones in dec 07. My son is 8. and I am 39.
…AND SCARED!!!
i know exactly where you are! I started Taxotare and have my third of six on Tuesday. I worry so much that the chemo will not work, and like you am so scared for my sons future. i tend to have better days now and am not nearly as negative as I was at first…but the triple neg thing is scary, we seem to not have the benefit of the longer time that hormone treatment gives others. BUT chemo is better for us and hopefully it will do its job.
This site is excellent support, I hope to hear how you are soon.