Hi all, I would really appreciate any advice. I was diagnosed a year ago and had chemo, surgery and rads. Now “just” on herceptin and tamoxifen and am looking at going back to work (been off since starting chemo). I have been lucky, my employers have been brilliant all through this and they are a big university so I am sure they will be up on disability stuff etc, so I am fortunate not to have to worry about them treating me fairly etc. (I hope, anyway!)
I am more worried about the emotional side of things, I am really scared of physically walking in the door of work (stupid I know), thinking people will all look at me and be wondering about me. (I don’t know who knows why I have been off. My immediate team obviously does but I’m not sure how far the news will have spread, but big organisations can be gossipy) I am driving myself myself mad thinking stupid things like will everyone be looking at my hair.
I am also scared of how I will physically cope, I still tire easily and I am afraid I will have forgotten how to do my job, or have any interactions with people that aren’t hospital of BC-related!
I wish I could just win the lottery and not have to go back at all!
Not sure if this would help. I didn’t have to face Chemo and apart from surgery recovery time I stayed at work.
A colleague was also being treated for BC and had the whole works and like you was off work from the start.
We happened to have some of our RT sessions at the same time so we got talking and like you very aprehensive about coming back mainly about team mates reactions etc.
As I was still at work I went to talk to her team mates & updated them as to how she was (she looked great); this broke the ice for her and they arranged to meet one lunch-time for a drink so she caught up with all the office gossip before she started back.
They were just as concerned as they didn’t want upset her/didn’t know how to react etc; so the lunch-time drink worked well.
Do you have a colleague you worked more closely with who you could contact and start to ease yourself back into contact before you actually start back to work?
She is going to start back very shortly on a part-time basis for a while and gradually build up to full-time.
Hope this helps and great news you are ready to start work.
I had my op on Christmas Eve so stopped work then. I did make sure I told a few people first though and let them know that I didn’t mind who knew - there wasn’t going to be any chance of hiding it, and anyway, what did I have to hide?
I was then off work for a couple of months but went back too work for the odd week during my first four chemos when I felt well enough and to try to stop me from hitting the half pay barrier. I only work 5 1/2 hours a day anyway - I don’t think I could have worked full days. This meant that I was still in touch with what was going on in the office and also they’d seen me with no hair. I wore a headscarf for the first few days but then got too hot and fed up with it, so off it came. I was very nervous but nobody even batted an eyelid!!!
Before I went back for the first time I met up with some work friends for lunch and we had a good old gossip so I really do recommend something like that as Lynne has also suggested. I know if you’re off on maternity leave you can go in for odd days to keep in touch. Maybe you could go in for a few hours a day for a couple of days in the week or so before you go back, just to break the ice?
I’ve found I’m too tired to work now I’m on Taxotere so I’ve been signed off until I’ve finished rads at the end of June, however I’m really glad I’ve managed to gain four weeks of work to delay dropping to half pay. I’ll be keeping in touch with my work colleagues by email and text and will also meet them for lunch every now and then. I might even pop into the office with some cakes or something every now and then just to treat them and to remind everyone else that I exist!
It will be physically and emotionally hard, there’s no denying that - your body isn’t the same as it was and you’ve also just got out of the habit of going to work every day. I’m sure the best thing is to make contact with friends there ahead of time so that there are friendly faces when you arrive and people who know what to expect of you.
Hi there. Good point from simplesl. I had a mx last november and just finished chemo and about to start on rads. The thought of going back to work has been made much easier for me because I have popped into work occasionally through my treatment for cups of tea and a chat. I work in a secondary school and my colleagues have been a massive support to me. I have been working from home too on my goodish days to keep up with emails. My boss will organize a phased return. They have recommended this as staff who have had time off before and come straight back full time have struggled and ended up being off sick again. I think if you could ask them to do this for you, and my gp also supports this, then you should be able to ease yourself in gradually. It’s great though, isn’t it, to be thinking about returning to work and putting things behind us!
Thank you guys so much for taking the trouble to reply and for the great advice. I have emailed my line manager and she is setting up a low-key lunch just with my immediate team before I start back, then I don’t have to face everyone all at once for the first time on my first day back.
Thanks again for the advice and best wishes to you all xxxx
I’m at that stage too and I actually went into our office last week to say “Hi” to everyone and got a fantastic reception - even dared to show my hair!
I’m 3 and bit years on now and been back at work 2 and a bit years having had 11 months off for treatment. Work were brilliant and let me phase back over a few weeks. I also used up some annual leave to work less days for a while. I loved being back, colleagues were great and like a previous poster advised I popped in a couple of times and went out for lunch etc. Nevertheless it was still exhausting, I would say even for the 1st year. I feel so much better now. My onc and breast nurse told me it takes 1-2 years to fully recover and I think thats about right tho I poo pooed it at the time.
I was still glad I went back when I did it was definitely best decision for me.Too much time to brood on what may or may not happen when you’re at home.Good luck and enjoy xx
My situation very similar to other respondents, had mx last May and left work as soon as I was diagnosed, after mx had chemo as soon as chemo over I returned to work part time for the first 6 weeks. Tiredness was the only problem I had and with it being winter I was worried about catching colds/flu as I was at risk after chemo but I had flu jab and was fine.
Throughout the 6 months I was off, I kept in touch with colleagues regularly via email and text and called in about 3 times to see them.
This broke the ice for when I had to go back with my wig! I was more nervous about that.
Great that you have a lunch arranged that will be a great way to get back into things again.
I’m debating now, whether I can go to work without the wig!!
All little milestones but are signs that we are getting back to normal, good luck.
I too am a little worried about work. I was working at home from Oct to Jan until after chemo 4 but after that was signed off.
My Co then decided to make me redundant after 34 years with them and phoned me at home (whilst on chemo) to tell me. I finished RADs 10 days ago.
I have found a new job and having explained my position - they are allowing me to start on 3 days a week.
I seem to have lost a lot of confidence with this illness and I am not sure if I can do the job anymore, if I will tire or if I will cope with the pressure.
I think it may have been easier, in some respects to go back to my old job, my desk and processes, procedures and people that I knew.
that is really bad timing, and I can understand you saying you’ve lost confidence - but you have gone out there and got another job, so not much wrong with your confidence!
The new Co. seem understanding if they are allowing you to do a 3 day week, I know it would have been easier to return to the same desk and the same people but this could be a great opportunity for you and it’s a sure sign that you are moving forward.
Good luck with the new job.
Further thanks to everyone who has posted. I went for lunch with my team and was really good to break the ice before I went back.
I started back last week just doing one and a half days a week which will be going up to two and a half days in a couple of weeks. Eventually if I want to I can go back full time or I can stick at 18.5hrs if I want, which I am tempted to do at least for the time being, until I feel a bit more recovered. (Do you ever feel recovered???!!!) I am scared of trying to do too much too soon, and I think work are wary of that too. They are totally going out of their way to make things easy on me and not putting any pressure on. I know I am lucky with this and I hope and wish everyone’s work places were so good. I still feel very strange doing anything other than going to the hospital, and am absolutely shattered, but hopefully this will gradually improve.
Janvis I agree with Jude I think it is amazing you have done something as proactive as finding a new job and they do sound understanding so I hope it works out well for you.
Again, thanks for the advice and kind words. Best wishes to all xxx