After sitting and reading various threads this morning (even though I am at work). It appears that although we have all suffered and are still suffering this dreadful disease that things still keep piling on our heads. Things like aching joints, blood pressure, thyroid problems , skin problems, the list is endless . Then we have the problem in our minds of thinking “Is it the Tamoxifen, Arimadex or other tablets and treatments”?. Should we go to the oncologist? Is it bone cancer?
I for one have developed under-active thyroid, low potassium levels and high cholestrol plus the aching joints in the last 8 months. Now I am thinking that maybe I would have got these anyway ( in my case I am 61 so maybe should expect things like this). My point being, is ignorance bliss or should we have everything investigated?
My knees have been crap since I was on Taxotere last year and the steroids temporarily gave me the symptoms of a type 2 diabetic. I still have nerve pain in my arm 2 years on and various other things that bother me. Where I had my lumpectomy has a dull ache most days, so it’s a constant reminder of the past 2 years.
I never wanted to go down the route of worrying that every little thing was the cancer coming back, but earlier on in the year I was having nightmares about being told this. One night I had a nightmare where my breast surgeon and oncologist told me I was terminally ill; that episode told me I needed help and my oncologist got me into counselling. However, my GP was not happy to give his permission for this as he said I did not need a psychologist. He figured that because I’d been positive and cheerful all the way through I should just dust myself off and get on with my life again. I was very angry at his attitude and felt any duty of care towards me had just failed at that point. Thankfully, things are now a lot better and I should be discharged from counselling later this month.
When I was discharged from oncology in July, they told me not to feel as if I was being “cut adrift” and that if I had any worries to get in contact with them via the breast nurses. Have to admit, that went a long way towards making me feel more confident about things.
I was originally told I had nothing wrong, just a fibroid as my test results all came back clear. However, after I had the fibroid removed I just had a niggling feeling something wasn’t right. I think that was one of the reasons I was very calm when the surgeon told me I had cancer. I like to think if I had a hunch about something again, it would alert me to getting it checked out but I don’t want my life ruled by fear and paranoia.
You have had just the same attitude to me over this and sounds like the same reaction as I had when I was diagnosed. I was determined not to let it change my life and wanted everything just to be normal. It’s only recently and after reading some of the threads that I started thinking. I haven’t seen an oncologist since November last year when my Rads finished. Saw the Surgeon a couple of months ago. Should I expect to see the ONC again. I recognize now that “being cut off” feeling. I also remember when I was diagnosed , my OH asking if they would keep me under close observation and they said they would. Doesn’t feel like it at the moment though. Maybe it’s just these cold, dark nights creeeping on that is lowering my spirits a bit!
Normski, I feel the same about these cold, dark nights. They are making me very tired. I had a bad day yeaterday as I had to ask my OH something to do with work (we work together) and he was a bit short with me. I burst into tears and my OH felt awful. I had a lousy day all day afterwards and lost the momentum. I went to bed and resolved that was it, Thursday was finished and today would be something new. Sunday is the 2 year anniversary of my diagnosis and if I’m honest I’m trying not to think about it, but I’m not looking forward to it.
I’m coming up to my two year anniversary same as you, but I am counting the days off since I understand that once you get past the two years, “statistically” ( I know you can fall on the bad side of stats) the odds of getting it again decrease. Having said this, I have been an emotional wreck for the past three weeks - terrified of a re-occurrence and seriously thinking that I woud love to talk to someone who does not know me but would allow me to talk about my fears and how to move on from them.
Normski - you have a point about the change in the weather but at least October is doing what it is supposed to do - bit colder, Autumnal and absolutely no pressure to be warm . I subscribe to the ignorance is bliss mentality, beacuse once you start attributing everything to something which needs investigating, then you are on a very slippery slope. I have very mild Lymphodema and have recently seen the Consultant who is trying to help me manage the condition. He was an extremely likeable chap who seemed genuinely to be interested in me as a person. We talked about life after having being diagnosed with bc and I mentioned that I am trying so hard not to go down the road of thinking it has come back; he agreed and asked if I was familiar with the story of Damacles. I said I was - albeit very superficially. When I got home I googled The Sword of Damacles and was very inspired by what I read - it so totally represents the fears that I have and puts them into some sort of perspective. Have a read -let me know what you think??
When you think that at one time in our lives all we had to remember was birthdays and wedding anniveraries. Now we addition to our mental calendar and it’s scary is some way but a blessed releif in others. Hope this is a good anniversary for you Cheruc, I will raise a glass to you. If we were honest, when we were first dx I know that one of the first things I thought of was that I must go over to South Africa to see my daughter and grandson , just in case I don’t make it. Now, we have have made plans to go over in April 2009 and that will be almost 2 years on, so I’m thinking “Phew thanks!”
Are you feeling better since your counselling? I do hope so, I can’t think how that nightmare ,ust have it you. We, like Janey b and others I am sure, are taking a positive attitude (doesn’t mena we are right), but it’s the one that works for us hey!
Janeyb
Sorry about the Lymphodema, are you coping O.K.? I am taking your advice and going to look at the Sword of Damacles right now.
After that will be doing my ‘roots’, ironing and waiting in anticipation for the last episode of Tess of the Durbevilles. Feel a box of tissues coming on girls!!!
Well, I’m just getting on with the day and I wasn’t really thinking about it until I heard about Wendy Richards. I heard something on Radio 5Live last night, but they didn’t say she was terminally ill. There is also an article on the Mail’s website today about Edith Bowman’s mum having BC; also an interview with Dannii Minogue which will no doubt go into Kylie.
Guess it’s that time of the year again eh? I remember when I was diagnosed, they had to get somebody to find my OH who had gone for a coffee (I thought I was just having the dressings removed from my lumpectomy as I had been told 4 weeks before I didn’t have cancer, just a fibroid). I spent 10 minutes with the surgeon on my own and I remarked you couldn’t get away from all this as it was in all the magazines. He agreed October is a very difficult time to be diagnosed on account of all the BC campaigns, then he told me he needed me to try and remain focused on the fact he had removed the cancer and they would get it if it was in my lymph nodes (1 out of 22). I reminded myself of that all the way through treatment and it did help.
I was planning to study today as I need to get an assignment away for my course, but I’ve decided to leave until I get back and do it on Fri/Sat of next week. I had planned to get it off tomorrow, but I think maybe I would have only made a half hearted attempt. I’ve had really good marks all the way through, so a duff one would annoy me.
You are on the right track Cherub. Good that you took today off. Yes I also read about Wendy Richards. When it’s someone you know’ i.e. being in the public limelight, it does make you think, but I don’t want to.
A 12 module course in copywriting by distance learning.
We have a small web design/development business and I hope to specialise in writing the copy for clients websites. I’ve just finished a small site which went live at the end of last week and I have the copy to write for a new client whose website OH is designing and building when we get back; also the copy for our own website which is getting a big revamp. OH gave me a web address for my birthday this year, so I’m going to while away a few hours on the darker nights doing my own site purely as a fun thing. Nothing too heavy, I’m planning it to be about my little world and I want to do stuff like cooking healthy meals.
OH has also set me a challenge for marketing the business when we get back. I find I’m focused when I’m given things to do with a timeframe. The psychologist who has been counselling me advised me this would be a good idea when I first saw her back in May. I use a whiteboard on the wall of our office to keep track of what I’m doing and it has helped my confidence no end.
Wow Cherub , sounds like a very exciting project you have ahead. Well done you for finding the strength to focus your mind on new things. Will this be a new you with the cooking or have you always enjoyed it? I think I would like that if I didn’t work full time. As it is my culinary skills are limited, although my OH does take his turn and is more adventurous than me.
You keep referring to when you get back, have I missed something or are you going away?