The message to my 6yr old is that i have lumps in my boob which need to go. The medicine i take is so strong that it makes my hair fall out and sometimes i might be sick or tired.
My 15yr old is obviously more canny and finding it trickier to deal with, but she knows that it’s not a death sentence and although it’s tough it’s doable.
I think there are some specialist stories that explain stuff but i haven’t felt the need and besides i think a y5 lad is probably too old for that sort of stuff. I’m a y5/6 teacher (normally!)and appreciate that these are the years that some boys start feeling more ‘manly’, if you know what i mean. If he see’s you sobbing uncontrollably and hysterical it will be unnerving for him, but if he sees you shedding a few tears and you can say that it’s cos you’re fed up about the situation i’m sure he’ll get it and it will also send him the message that it’s ok to be fed up too.
Practically - i would tell his school asap (if you haven’t already) and keep them posted on your progress. His teacher will then know to cut him a bit of slack if he needs it.
i had the same operation last week and understand how you feel. i think this site and forum is great - and it helps to be able to talk to people who understand what’s going on and how you feel.
if you want to keep in touch i’d be happy to - haven’t yet figured out how contacts and the system works yet for so. New to forums
Karen
Am sorry to hear your news…I’m a little behind you. Found out 16th Feb that I have bc (IDC) so this is my first post… I’m about to have a lumpectomy and SNB 8th March…may I ask how long it was between Dx and surgery? mine will be just over 3 weeks, way too long in my book but haven’t come across threads regarding timeframes. Is 3 weeks average?
I might add that this site has been so important for me… especially as I’m not finding my BCN particularly supportive. Are they trained to hold back with the reassurances and likely outcomes…the only reassurance I received was that I’m not “terminally ill.” Which is something…
Hi la prainiere, i was four weeks between dx and surgery but it was my choice as i wanted xmas out of the way first, and my surgeon said it would make no difference . i had a 29mm lump and one lymph node affected out of 13 they took away, stage 3. i too was worried about lack of reassurances but they like to keep their cards close to their chest until thay have had the histology report so that they can give you the facts rather than the possibles. However i was told that i would have chemo rads and tamoxifen at my dx. I found my team give me information in bite size chunks and i have found this helpful rather than be swamped with too much information when your head is all over the place. My surgery was 4th Jan and i am one week past my first chemo, although it will all seem so daunting to you now once treatment starts it really does go very quickly.
I was three weeks between dx and surgery, a few people sooner and some longer so you are about average in waiting time. Doesn’t it seem like forever… a three week holiday would be done in the blink of an eye but three weeks waiting and worrying is an eternity. If it makes you feel any better (and I know getting the bc gone would be the only thing that really can)I was told that even if I had gone private, paid and gained a few days on waiting for surgery that it would have made no difference to my prognosis and that there was no medical urgency (though they could understand why psychologically I would want to get on with it). Hope the time passes as quickly as possible for you x
PS: On reassurances, I think they prefer to wait until they have done the pathology tests on the lump under a microscope before they talk too much detail of what it is, how big, what it responds to etc. Many of things they don’t know even on a biopsy so it isn’t that they are hiding something from you, just that they would rather be sure before talking to you about too much detail of follow-up treatment x
Hi, sorry you have to join us here. The timing of surgery can be affected by things like school holidays reducing staffing levels and the fact that some people need very lengthy, complicated surgery. A friend of mine had surgery on both her breasts–not cancer, not cosmetic–and it took most of a working day. Three weeks is not unusual, but waiting is hard on us all.
I was diagnosed 8th Dec, had WLE on 10th Jan. So 3 weeks is fine and about average I think.
If you want to talk to a voice rather than type to other typists, give the helpline a ring (number at the top of the page). And the Publications section on this site is very good - take care you don’t scare the pants off yourself when googling, keep to reputable sites such as this one, Macmillan, Cancer Research, that kind of thing.