Hello everyone, I’m new here and pleased to find somewhere I can “be” with others like me though of course I wish none of us were here. I have no idea whether I am posting this post in the right place or not… ~This site was recommended to me by my breast care nurse and GP. I have so many questions and fears, so scared as usually a postive person so in control and believe in making the best of any situation but this has floored me, I am very scared and though everyone around me has been fabulous, my boyfriend, family and friends and the care of the hospital staff and GP second to none but I am currently awating my results… I have had a lumpectomy and lymph nodes removed. Op went well, never had one before, in and oiut same day and doing my exercises, very stiff, numb and tired. I can cope with these after effects, my lump was 1cm aprox they said, its just in case it has spread I am petrified. My aunty has gone through a masectomy and 4 nodes removed and she has been so supportive and giving me lots of tlc even though she is going through similar. My results are Thurs and my bravado is fading. When diagnosed 4 days before Christmas I finished my shopping, went to work and carried on as normal tried stay positive, caught it early everyone said, did good, found lump, straight to doctors, sent for mammogram scan etc and had op last Friday. Everyone so brilliant but I would like to be in touch with others who are going through same tho of course I wish they were not. Every day I feel so lucky to be alive, makes you view things with a different angle, its odd cos I dont even feel ill, even when went for op I didnt feel comfortable with everyone fussing around me cos felt they should be looking after people who are ill - though I know what I have, I dont feel ill or look ill… its crazy!
Hi Silversha,
Sorry you have a reason to post on this site but rest assured you will get some excellent support and good advice from some really lovely people.
Wow reading your post was just like reading how I have been feeling!
I was diagnosed before Christmas with a 10mm cancer, I had a WLE and SNB which showed 1/3 nodes with cancer therefore I had a full clearance of nodes last thurs. I have been told my cancer is a grade 3 and HER positive, am due for my results of full clearance on 1st Feb then will be starting chemo, im also terrified whether the cancer has spread??
The waiting is the worst cause you just want to know!!
I totally understand what you mean about not feeling ill, I said to my boss that I feel like a cheat cause my GP signed me off work for 4 weeks and I dont feel ill (okay ive had a couple of ops but I feel okay)
Best wishes to you and good luck for your results
Firstly, welcome to the forums, I am sure you will find it a great source of information and support.
I’m sorry to read of your diagnosis, I’ve given here the link to our Resource Pack for those people newly diagnosed. The pack is essential for anyone with a primary diagnosis of breast cancer. Filled with information to help you better understand your diagnosis, test results and the various treatments available.
Hi, Silvershar, sorry you have to be here, but the company is good. Waiting for the results really is hard on everyone, and we all have days when we feel scared, tearful, angry or all at once. You’re right, the feeling that you have lost control of your life is not a good one.
It’s crazy, but in some ways many of us are not really ill, especially if we are lucky enough to have the BC found before it begins to spread, and I think most of us find that the more we can carry on with life as usual the better. So you’ve made a really good start on that.
So do whatever you can to distract yourself until Thursday, but if it gets to you and you need a little cry or a pillow-thumping session, that’s ok. You’re entitled to it.
Think I’m sitting in the same boat, pulling on the same oar even! Like you have had WLE and SNB, and still waiting for results. This waiting room has to be the crappiest place to be, I’ve been climbing the walls since surgery on 10th Jan.
I can also sympathise with the “but I’m not ill!” thing. It’s all backwards isn’t it - you feel fine, you have an op, you have further treatment that makes you feel rubbish. Weird.
Welcome to the site and sorry you’re here, but you’re in a good place to be. The only thing I would warn against is BCC forums addiction! Trawl around, read threads, join in on them, get to know people, find threads you can relate to and visit frequently. There are serious threads, sad threads, happy threads, silly threads, informative threads, all populated by lovely people. Everyone has been so welcoming I am quite overcome by how caring a bunch of total strangers can be! (Thank you, ladies and gents.) And that’s without any assistance from a glass of wine or two.
I am sorry you have all joined our exclusive club.
The waiting is the worst part of this illness - waiting for an operation, waiting for results, waiting for the next part of your treatment etc but you will get there. Every hour seems like a day and every day seems like a week. The secret is to keep busy.
Once you understand your treatment plan you will start to take control again.
Please keep on posting - there are many on the site that can help you all through this.
Waiting is defo the worst, Im 3 years down the line and hopefully doing well. I hope you get a plan in place and if lump small size fingers crossed not lymph node activity.
As someone said this site is amazing and i have made some great friends but try especially in the first stages to look for like minded threads, i found myself constantly looking in the secondaries for similar symptoms etc and got myself in a state. Look for other newbies who are going through the same emotions.
Hi Silversha - I feel exactly the same as you, although I have had my results and have to have 3 weeks rads and tamoxifen. One of the lucky ones I think! However, I’ve just received letter telling me my rads isn’t starting till 9th March - 13 weeks after my SNB! Not happy about this and have contacted my BCC nurse who is going to speak to Onc to try to have date brought forward. I feel I have had a constant battle!!
However, I feel a bit of a fraud because my doctor has insisted on me staying off work. I feel well and recovered from both ops really quickly (had WLE on 13th Dec and SNB 30th Dec).
I think we need to accept that although we feel well, the professionals are telling us that work must not be our priority at the moment. I’ve decided to accept and be guided by what my GP recommends and enjoy the time before rads starts when I think I will probably be glad not to be at work!
Good luck with results - keep in touch.
Hi Silvershar. Sorry you’ve had to join us! I agree totally with what everyone has said. I had wle and snb way back in October, so am a few months down the line but this site is great for letting off steam. Just be cautious about doing any googling - my consultant said keep away, if you need to know anything ring the BC nurse!
Interesting what you said about work Pauline, I was signed off from November to April (having chemo) and really had to fight to get my sick note changed so I could go into work. Luckily I have a great employer and I am able to pop in and out of work and work from home when I feel like it, it has been a great distraction and people at work have been of huge support.
Keep yourself busy Silvershar, hoping your results are positive
Hi silvershar,
As others have said, its a bummer you found yourself here, but you’ll get good support and advice, its good that you have a strong family support, its what has got me through these past months, I’m ahead of you had WLE in Oct, rads in Nov (no chemo needed) now tamoxifen for 5 years, and I didn’t work from op til now - hopefully returning later this week.
Good advice re googling, even though its tempting, also be careful within the forums, you can read too much and frighten yourself to death, just remember no two cases are the same, and everyone gets their treatment based on their own results.
Fingers crossed for you for Thursday, hope time passes swiftly for you, keep posting just getting your feelings out helps x
Hi Silvershar,
It’s a club nobody wants to join but must make the most of. The other members are full of helpful information and advice and comfort and are truly inspirational.
I’m sorry for what your going through and totaly get what you mean about not feeling ill. It screws with your brain. I got my results on a Tuesday and had surgery (mastectomy and sentinal node biopsy) on the Friday Dec 3rd. It’s like going 0-100 in 60 seconds and then back again. One minute being told you have the dreaded C word and staring at your immortality but not feeling ill and by the time your brain has proccesed it being told, It’s ok, we got it all, your going to be fine. I have been so lucky. I am on Tamoxifen for 5 years. No chemo or rads, but I am still spinning.
I wish you all the very best with your treatment and recovery.
Look after yourself and don’t be a stranger!
X