New to forum...newly diagnosed

Hi All

Diagnosed last week grade 2 IDC…having MRI next week to determine size, due for surgery within a few weeks. ER + 

Although trying to keep my head in gear I did have a major wobbly day yesterday but I reckon that’s par for the course. It’s a rubbish way to lose weight !!! I’m trying meditation and telling myself I can worry myself sick but it’s not going to change anything… it is surreal though.

The waiting and wondering is the worst.

 

 

feenix

Welcome to the forum Feenix - hope today is s better day for you .Yes , wobbly days are par for course ,also look out for the " supermarket meltdown " which seems pretty common too !!! The anxious waiting is torture but once you get going with your treatment it does feel a lot less overwhelming .And yes it is very surreal

  • like it’s not really happening to you .Good luck with your MRI .Jill.

Give it time -?

Also new to the forum. I was diagnosed last week with stage 3 bc, spread to lymph nodes. Now awaiting a ct scan to see if it has spread further. It’s the most terrifying and agonising experience I’ve ever dealt with. The not knowing and feeling like your life has been taken out of your control is horrendous. I now think that every pain, twinge and feeling slightly off means the cancer is eating me alive, it’s so difficult to cope with. 

Hi Cass, welcome to the forum.The early stages when you don’t know what you are dealing with are really hard and very scary .Once you have all the pieces of the jigsaw and you know what treatment you need you will feel calmer.Just about everyone becomes hyper aware of every ache and pain after being diagnosed ,things you wouldn’t have thought twice about suddenly become sinister in your mind .It is actually pretty rare for breast cancer to have spread outside the Breast when first diagnosed - something like 5% of cases so the odds are in your favour ???Jill.

Hi Feenix, I was diagnosed yesterday With IDC so still in a state of shock. I am waiting for some more results on Thursday and then I will know if I will have surgery first or chemo first. I have to say the whole thing is pretty scary. I’m most worried about telling my two daughters especially as one is oing her A levels in June and currently revising.
Mediation sounds like a good idea and true that no matter how much you worry it won’t change anything.

Welcome Michelle -lots of new members today.My son was doing his AS levels when I was diagnosed 3 years ago .

Yes Cass, no matter how hard family and friends try only people who have been through this can truly understand how absolutely terrifying this is .This is a great place to express your fears without upsetting /worrying those around you .x

Thanks Jill, good to know there are people here to help and advise. I think I’m still in shock from it all. How did your son cope?

Welcome ladies, certainly busy here today! you will become accustomed to the Supermarket meltdown in time, it’s along the lines of going on a rampage around the aisles of Asda ( Other Supermarkets are available) shoving everyone head first in to the nearest freezer!! ?

 

As you can see we try and keep things light hearted when possible but are also a fountain of knowledge between us so can support , listen and hopefully answer any questions you have ? It takes a while to let it all sink it but it does and you will amaze yourself with how you will cope! Xx Jo 

 

 

Thanks Jo, I like your humour! Every time I read a comment I’m finding that the tears are coming. I’m looking forward to getting to the stage where I am amazing myself. ? I guess the whole thing is a process that needs to be gone through and can’t be rushed, it’s just a real bummer being at the beginning and not the end being able to look back at myself and say I got through it all. I tfound myself worrying that the cancer has spread throughout my body today so it is good to hear this is common and actually the chances are low. Sorry I know I am waffling on it’s just the whole thing is surreal. I’m sure everybody thinks that too, like you are watching it all happen to someone else. I’m sure once treatment starts it will become very real. I’m looking at a mastectomy although it’s yet to be confirmed. Strangely enough st the moment I don’t even care about that, I just want it all out. I have 2 lumps and what looks like one lymph node infected. No one said what stage this is so I don’t know.
Anyway I’ve waffled enough, thanks for listening x

Hi all. New to this kind of thing and to what to put even. I was diagnosed this week. So shocked. my emotions are all over the place. Can feel ok one minute and crying the next and as mentioned in other posts every ache or pain and yes you feel it’s moved somewhere else . I have surgery in 16 days and counting. This is so so scary and out of my control. Every bone in my body aches and keep telling myself this is tension. Oh boy it’s tough.

Welcome to the forum Gill .It does get easier but the first few weeks are very hard .Lots of support and advice here .

Thank you Jill. Makes you realise that your not on your own.

No there’s lots of us out there !!! it made me feel so much better when I first posted and got some replies from real people who understood - made me feel less alone and less " abnormal" .

Sorry for butting in, but I seem to be doing it a lot on other threads at the moment, as I’m in limbo waiting for my op on 29th April.  

 

Yes, Cass, I think the waiting is the cruellest and scariest part of all this and don’t we get a lot of stages where we are waiting for the next bit. Luckily for most if us, I think, we feel healthy when we are diagnosed, so it’s the mental marathon we run which takes it’s toll. Mines been a long wait. My mammogram was at the end of last October, my diagnosis was 21st December. The area I’m in didn’t do the reconstruction I wanted (DIEP flap following double MX), I had to find the surgeon who would do it myself but couldn’t get the MX done at the same hospital, so that delayed things whilst my amazing lady plastic surgeon found me an equally amazing lady breast surgeon and now I travel 2 hours for consultations ect. The ops being done in a private hospital, but in an NHS slot because the surgeons come from different hospitals!!! Red tape and lack of information from my original area means it will be 6 months since they found the 4 areas on the mammogram when the cancer (that’s progress, I usually call it It) finally comes out of me.

 

I’ve had a supermarket meltdown! Mind went into overload whilst reading the packaging to find out what was in something and I just had to get out and left a full trolley in the middle of the aislwe

 

I did have a really good laugh whilst on the phone with a friend though, as we discussed the weight loss benefits of a double mastectomy! I promptly  fetch my weighing scales out yo try to work out how much I would lose (about 5 or 6 pounds if you were wondering). I then googled it and there is actually a chart where you enter your measurements and it tells you how much they weigh! Someone on the site wondered if there was a chart for men’s bits! My friend commented, “About 2ounces”. I may be giving my age away with the imperial measurements!!

 

Sorry again for butting in. Love and hugs to you all and my hopes and wishes that we all come through this as healthily, whole, sane and still with our sense of humour intact as possible. xxx

 

 

Blimey Fairydust you really have had quite the ordeal. I’m at the stage of waiting for HER result and then will get a treatment plan. I still can’t quite believe I am saying this stuff and talking about me!

Feenix and Cass I was only diagnosed on Thursday so house hasn’t gone to rack and ruin yet, although every cloud has to have a silver lining so a bit let housework sounds good to me. I also run a fair bit Cass, I did a half marathon a couple of weeks ago, oh how life can change! I have a problem with my groin/hip when I run at the moment which I have obviously out down to cancer spreading. Do everyone get an MRI my Doc hasn’t suggested it but for piece of mind I think I need it.
Keep the humour x

Sorry got called away whilst writing last message but had a bit more to say!
Rabbit caught in the headlights is a perfect description, that was me exactly too! How is everyone sleeping? I keep waking and that is definitely the worst time, the thoughts just keep going round and round in my head. I even find myself planning my own funeral, although generally I’m quite an upbeat, strong person which a strong desire to get through this.
I’m thinking of starting a journal because I think the process of writing everything down helps and I’ve ordered a couple of books on Amazon, Victoria Derbyshire is one of them. I’m hoping they will inspire and motives me and bring me up when I’m down. Anyway that’s all from me for now, best wishes to you all xx

I’ve just been into town on a mission to get a dressing gown and pj’s. Rushing round from shop to shop in the end it got the better of me and the tears came. I’ve bought a couple of pairs of pj’s that probably aren’t even suitable after a mastectomy. I just felt I had to do i, had to buy something. I think it’s about trying to get some control back, anything even just buying nightwear. How nuts is that?
I better you’re glad you didn’t attempt that jump Cass, could of been a bit awkward when you realised you were already on the ground!
We’re going out tonight for a big event, I’m hoping I will be distracted but nervous that I could start crying at any point.
Good luck with your MRI on Monday Feenix x

Hi Mai I’ve just read the first page on your blog. Thank you so much, even though I’m crying again it has given me hope xx