New to forum

Hi everyone
This is all a bit of a shock really…I went to my GP with what I thought were my usual cysts in left breast and she thought that as well, but referred me anyway. My lovely consultant also examined me thoroughly and said just cysts but she ordered a mammogram and ultrasound to make sure.
So the shock came when the mammogram showed something in my right breast that the radiologist was not happy about. (It was a cyst in the left one). On Friday I had a stereotactic biopsy. Not nice at all but I felt very removed from it all and planned what I would do if they found it was cancer. I get my results on Thursday.
Yesterday when I took my dressing off and saw the bruising I think the realilty started to dawn that this could be something bad.
All weekend I was sort of floating around and I am meant to be moving to be nearer my grown up children and grandchildren in two weeks so I am packing. Today it suddenly hit me I felt sick and shaky and wanted to ignore the whole thing and not find out…I thought it might be delayed shock from the procedure but maybe I am just really frightened.
I have read some of the posts and I rang up the helpline which was very good…but I thought maybe it would be a support over the next two days to join the forum. I will feel very guilty if I find out it is benign but not many people are saying “I am sure it will be ok”.
Also I am concerned about moving and whether it can all be transferred if necessary.
Jenjix

Hi Jenji and welcome to the BCC forums

I am pleased to read that you found our helpline useful and I am sure you will soon have lots of support and shared experiences here from your fellow users

Best wishes

Lucy

Hi Jenji
You are in the right place for support. You will hear a lot of people here say they are wishing you get the “all clear”, even though they are going through hell themselves. I am in more or less the same boat as you - waiting to hear what ‘it’ is. I also felt that I would feel guilty and was worried that I would be seen as so selfish for being worried/panicked/paranoid and then it turns out to be nothing. But the ladies have been wonderful to me. Very encouraging and supporting and constantly reminding me that as long as nothing is confirmed, there is a much bigger chance that it will all turn out to be good. And because I have experienced the shared joy when someone posted here they heard good news, I know we shall all be glad and relieved together when you get good news! So, don’t feel you need to hold back. That is why this forum is there - so we can support each other through it all.
It does get better in time. This feeling of absolute panick at the thought of cancer mellows in time. I read through the thread I first posted a couple of weeks back and I could see how my emotions have changed and how much better I am at coping now compared to when it all started. It doesn’t mean I am a calm and collected person at all. No, the emotions and the body still has its ups and downs, but I am definitely in a better place. Others told me that it will get better, but it is hard to believe when you are at the beginning stage.
Hold on to that reassurance that the odds for the all clear is good. I call it ‘having the back door open’! When the thoughts wander into dark places, I remind myself that I still have an escape! Big hug and remember you are not alone. X

Thank you ThinLizzie…it is so good to know that I am not alone…today is a little better and a little cooler thank goodness! I have actually started to look at boxes again and think about putting things in them for my move!
I seem to have clicked back into the practical side of my brain and planning new carpets and suchlike for my new flat. Distraction is good and I have spoken to my GP and she has given me an appointment to see her on Friday whatever happens on Thursday.
I have put on a proper bra for the first time since the biopsy and feel more normal. I am very petite but have such big breasts!
I really hope it all goes well for you too and that you don’t have too long to wait.
Big hug X

Hi Jenji

I too am playing the waiting game. Late last year I had a mastectomy, followed by chemo early this year (last one in May). Last week I found three lumps in my remaining breast, and I’m waiting for an appointment at the breast clinic. Hopefully this time it will just be cysts - but there is always that doubt. Wishing you good luck for your results on Thursday and sending big hugs. Also hoping for a good outcome for both of us.
Poemsgalore xxx