newbie - just diagnosed and waiting for surgery etc

Hi, I was diagnosed 2 weeks ago with a tiny tumour in my left breast and inconclusive results from 2 biopsies on my right breast. I’m struggling with the mammogram biopsy in my rb … kept fainting as I have a major needle phobia…goodness knows how I’m actually going to get through all of this :frowning: I’m scared of the treatments - lumpectomy, radiotherapy, hormone pills and the consequences of all of this. To make matters worse - hubby and I are bickering about nonsense and unless I put a smile on my face as if this isn’t happening, we aren’t getting on at all. Ive come very close to abandoning ship already. I realise this is probably hard for him too, but I feel let down, unloved and very, very hurt. I would really welcome some support.

Hi bettypoppit and welcome to the BCC forums

Along with the shared experiences and support you will find here, our helpliners are on hand with practical and emotional support for you so please feel free to call and talk things through in confidence

Lines are open weekdays 9-5 and Saturdays 10-2 on 0808 800 6000

Here’s a link to the ‘Just diagnosed’ area of the site, you will find lots of information and further support ideas which I hope you will find helpful:

Take care
Lucy BCC

Bettypoppit, it is natural to struggle with a diagnosis of breast cancer and even although our nearest and dearest seem not to be terribly affected, they are.  They may not feel as we do because they dont have the disease and it is only when you have that you fully appreciate what people go through.  With regard to treatment I thought I would never get through it but here I am nearing the end of a year’s treatment.  I am looking forward to it but there are times when I feel I need the comfort of being closely monitored.  It is dare I say a journey you will need to undertake and you will get through it just take one step at a time and let your  medical team know when you feel vulnerable.  I always found the breast care nurses to be very considerate and empathetic.  I also  had a very good surgeon who listened patiently to all my questions and she answered them all, sometimes not how I would have liked but answer them she did.  I have a fab oncologist who is very firm but excellent at her job.  So all in all that has helped me.  This forum is good as you will be able to communicate with ladies who are going through or have gone through treatment.  You will get there be confident in the NHS.  Take care and have a good day.

Hi bettypoppit
As a fellow needlephobe I can empathise with you completely. Don’t be afraid to ask for sedatives… I’ve found that they’re quite willing to give you them but you have to ask. I was given diazepam before both surgeries and have been given lorazepam to take before my next procedure.

You’ll somehow find the strength for each stage of this journey. The reality of each stage is never as bad as what you build it up in your head to be. I have found this forum to be a lifeline for information, reassurance and support. There’s lots of lovely ladies here who completely understand what you’re going through and can support you every step of the way.

Hugs x

Poor poor you …I was diagnosed 3 weeks ago and still waiting for surgery date so similar position to you. I felt positive at first but now anxious. I am finding walking is really helping me …I mean miles and miles but helps me to sleep well. Have you heard of visualisation? I’m only self taught off a Web site but allowed me to zone out during initial biopsy - I also asked staff nicely not to tell me what they are doing unless they need me to do something and can stay quite calm. Try and stay positive but that’s easier said than done isn’t it xx

Hi everyone, thank you all so much for your support…it’s really helping me to feel not so alone in all of this. I will be using diazapham again but if I can’t lie down for the wire insertion for the op I’m worried I won’t cope and it will be a non starter :frowning: Got sooooo much going around in my head - it’s making me very very tired and snappy. I need to get a grip but some days I just feel so angry and niggled and feel that ‘don’t wanna, don’t hafta’. Not in a good place. Then I realise how lucky I am that this has been caught so early and fingers crossed it hasn’t spread and that makes me feel very guilty cause a lot of you ladies are suffering much much more than me. Confused.

Don’t know if this will help but when I had my biopsy I closed my eyes as soon as I laid down and I concentrated on being on a tropical beach. Felt sure this wouldn’t work cos I’m not a touchy feely person at all but amazingly it did and I am normally such a wimp. The only thing I felt was the anaesthetic but that was just cold. Didn’t feel a thing after that. Really hope this helps .

Hi Elaine59…thanks for your idea… I had the double wires/wle op and biopsy tuesday and don’t know how - except for 5mg of diazapam - i got through it - I think I just ‘shut down’…I am the biggest wimp and woosie but I’ve proved to myself that i can do this stuff and that gives me some comfort for what is ahead for me know. The staff were all fabulous (UHNS) and made all the difference. I’m also in a better place in my head now treatment has started and I think I’m working through the utter shock of it all. Good thoughts to all on this journey x

Hi Elaine59, well done you…time for you to rest and recover. I guess the tight sore throat is from the anaesthetic malarkey and I’m sure it won’t last too much longer. I agree with you, i was unable to plan further than when to get up, when to have my next drink and when was the district nurse coming - until my results appointment. …life virtually stood still. I did feel particularly yuk after the ga (sick as a dog after the surgery in fact)…hope you are doing better than me.
Take good care of yourself whilst you are waiting.Xx