Hi Everyone
I’m Ashleen, I’m 32 years old and I live in Southampton with my hubby and our little black pug puppy called Benji.
I was diagnosed with Grade 3 Invasive Ductal Breast Cancer in February after finding a lump in my breast. It’s been a whirlwind few months. Firstly they thought it was a cyst, drained it then it came back. Then they did a biopsy to then find out it was in fact cancer. Not the kind of news I was expecting to hear a few weeks before my wedding! I then had surgery in April to remove the tumour (lumpectomy/local wide incision) which went really well. They confirmed it was Stage 1A and that I had caught it really early. No lymph node clearance was required either as it thankfully hadn’t spread to my lymph nodes. They also got a really good clear margin of tissue around the tumour, so as far as they were concerned, the cancer was gone! Hoorah - the wedding day went ahead, I was feeling well following surgery and the day was perfect. We had to cancel our honeymoon to America as I was unable to fly due to the risk of clotting etc, so we took the Eurostar to Paris for a few nights instead and it was just as amazing!
Fast forward to today and I’ve just finished having IVF/fertility treatment to remove my eggs/create embryos with my husband Dan and I’m about to start FEC-T chemo next week. Hmm you’re probably wondering why I need all this considering everything was going so well before?! But it turns out the surgeon sent my tumour off to America for an oncotype DX breast recurrence score test and yep, the score came back high (40+) meaning my cancer is highly likely to come back. Maybe not today, but certainly in the future. That’s the blow I’m struggling to get my head around right now.
So the plan for me right now is fertility treatment, which I’ve just completed. Then 6 cycles of FEC-T chemotherapy, followed by 3 weeks of radiotherapy and then potentially hormone drugs for the next 10 years - all in the aid of preventing my cancer from coming back. I find it hard to believe I really need all this, given that the surgery went so well. I thought a lumpectomy goes hand in hand with radiotherapy and that would be it. My receptor tests also came back marginally positive for oestrogen, meaning that the hormone therapy may or may not be effective.
It’s a lot to get my head around at the moment. The fertility side of things was bad enough having to inject myself every morning for 12 days, dealing with all the hormones, nausea and everything else. But now that’s over, I have to start chemo next week and I have no idea what I’m walking into. I’m usually quite a positive/confident person, I love life, my friends and having fun, but I feel really tearful and low at the moment and everyone around me is trying their best to make me feel better but all I can see is doom and gloom ahead and nothing else.
I’d really appreciate some tips on how to deal with everything next. Particularly the FEC-T chemo part. I’m well aware of all the side affects and to be completely honest, I’m coming to terms with the fact my hair is likely to fall out along with my lashes and brows, but it’s the feeling of not being my fun loving self or able to do things with my family and friends at weekends that scares me the most. I’m going to try the cold cap just to see whether it works. My hair is long, thick and blonde and it may or may not work, but I need to try. I was wondering whether cutting my hair shorter (i.e. a long bob) would help with the cap, as my hair is so thick and heavy that I’m worried the cap won’t be able to work effectively on my scalp if I have so much thick hair?!
Sorry for the essay… I’m planning to attend the Younger Women Together event in Bristol in July so if anyone else is going, it would be great to meet beforehand. I just can’t quite comprehend this is happening to me, so to know I’m not alone would be a massive help in getting me through the next 6 months
Ash xx