hi ladies i am 43 and just got diagnosed yesterday with bc grade 2 that is about all i could take in. Been given option of chemo first then operation. just feel bombarded with info at the moment and it all seems a bit surreel keeping on hoping will wake up and it just been a bad dream. it so hard to give a strong appearance to others when deep down you really scared. not had the courage yet to tell my parents as they live abroad and being the only daughther they will be devastated. i know there will be good days and bad days but you can’t help thinking why me. so sorry to ramble on but had to get it off my chest. thanks for reading this. will be more postive next time i log on. tazzie x
Hi Tazzie,
Sorry you find yourself here, but you’re in the right place to share your ups and downs with others that have been, are going through and are about to go through the same as you.
White knuckle ride has been launched for you and it really is difficult to hang on sometimes, but you don’t need to remain positive and strong here, we all rant, cry, laugh and share and sometimes feel that this is the only place where you can do that, as we all totally ‘get it’.
I am 41, just finished chemo this week, both my sister and mother went through the same last summer and I thought that this horrid disease was behind us, but it turned up in March again.
Telling people for me was the worst bit, I did it straight away and it was far from pleasant, but helped me get a lot of the tears and upset out of the way from the off, then I could move on. Everyone is different thought and it is difficult to tell people, and a truly personal decision to do so, but when you’ll know when you’re ready.
Sending you a hug and wishing you the best to get through this testing time now, and you will, and there will always be plenty of lovely ladies here who can help, guide, advise and share in the ups and downs with you too.
Bev x
Hi Tazzie, so sorry you have to join the club no one wants to join. There are some amazing women (and men) on here so you will soon find people to ‘talk’ to who get what you’re saying.
It is OK to feel however you feel - questions, anger, numb, weepy, laughinh, disbelief, anything else… there is no one ‘right’ reaction except the one that you happen to have.
You mention the possibility of chemo before surgery - I had that as have a fair number of others on here (overall we are a minority) and for me it was very effective - and reassuring to be told my tumour was shrinking. For some people chemo first means they can have a lumpectomy rather than a mastectomy, for me, because my tumour was slap bang in the middle of my breast that wasn’t possible. However, my lovely surgeon told me that in the end it was a text book procedure. If you click my name it will show more boring stuff about me, in case it’s of any interest re: breast cancer.
Telling other people is hard but you will find your way through. My mum had major heart surgery the day I was diagnosed (jus tover a year ago)and was in intensive care for several days… I waited to tell her til she was home, which meant swearing other people to secrecy… not great, but it felt right for me. You will find the right moment to tell your folks. I hope you have lots of local support? You don’t mention whether you have a partner but there are quite a few single girls on here (such as me) as well as married, divorced and civil partnerships, so you won’t be alone whatever your circumstances. Hopefully you have one or two friends close by in whom you can confide and who will be there for you.
The next little while will be a whirl of tests and terror and wondering and waiting, but you will get through it I promise.
In the meanitme, try to stay as positive as you can manage (and those of on here know how ridiculous that sounds) and avoid the demon Google (except to get here, Macmillan or Cancer Research UK) as there is a lot of outdated, wrongheaded and even plain dangeorus stuff out there.
Tazzie this will be a tough weekend for you, but you can and will get through.
Sending you a big big cyber hug
Hi tazzie and welcome to the BCC forums
In addition to the valuable support you already have please feel free to call our helpline on 0808 800 6000, the lines are open weekdays 9-5 and Sat 9-2, our team are here to offer you further support and information.
BCC have published a resource pack for anyone newly diagnosed and you can order a pack and read more about it here:
Take care
Lucy
Hi Tazzie,
So sorry you find yourself with us here, it is a horrible shock and so much to take in. I was dx 16th aug and had lumpectomy couple of weeks later.
Telling people is very hard but hopefully you will get a lot of support to help you face it as i did.
In your own time read up the BC book you get given i found it all explained quite simply and there is loads of info and amazing support on here too
Big hug Tazzie x
Hi Tazzie. I’m 43 too and I was diagnosed at the end of May. I know exactly what you mean about the surreal feeling, the time immediately after diagnosis was the hardest time for me. It does get easier. As RevCat says there will probably be tests, more appointments and then treatment will start very soon. The waiting is the worst part - I felt much happier once I had my treatment plan and I think that’s true for most people. Like you the chemo came first -, I’ve got one left to go, and then it’s surgery - which should now be quite straightforward thanks to the chemo. I told my parents about it the night before I started chemo as they’d been out of the country on holiday. It was a huge shock for them, but they’ve been a great support, as I’m sure yours will for you. Take care and remember it does get easier.
Jo x
to all your lovely ladies thanks so much for your comments it really helps having somewhere you can just let rip and say how you feel. i really appreciate it so much take care all of you and keep positive thanks tazzie xx