NEWBIE

Hi all, I was diagnosed on 29th with BC grade 2 lump, I am sort of coming to terms with it but it is still not real and I keep on thinking that when I go to have it removed they will tell me they got it wrong because how can I have it I am not ill, unfortunatley I have not been able to tell my parents yet as they flew to America on the morning as I got my results in the afternoon and yes I have lied to them as not to spoil their holiday, I will tell them on their return on Friday I am just a bit worried that this is when I am going to fall apart. I feel that I am living in a dream and have also adopted an imaginery friend scary at 41 but it is my friend that is going through this and I am helping her by being strong. I know I have put myself as Dizzy but am I going slightly mad. Just want to say tho reading through some of your posts has given me a bit more of a positive so thank you. Dizzyd

Hi DizzyD

Firstly, welcome to the forums, I am hope you will find them to be a great source of information and support.

I’m sorry to read of your diagnosis, the first few days and weeks are
always difficult when coming to terms with things.

I’ve given here the link to our Resource Pack for those people newly diagnosed. The pack is filled with information to help you better understand your diagnosis, test results and the various treatments available.

breastcancercare.org.uk/heal … tionId/82/

Also, do give the helpline a ring if you need any further support or information. They’re on 0808 800 6000. Open 9-5 Monday to Friday and 9-2 Saturday.

Best wishes Sam, BCC Facilitator

Hi Dizzy D,
so sorry you have to join this club, and I empathise with the not telling parents bit - my mum was very seriously ill after majotr surgery at the time I was diagnosed so waited until she was stable and home before I told her. I hated the dishonesty, but it felt like the lesser of two evils at the time.

It does feel unreal doesn’t it? One minute you are a healthy woman getting on with life, next you have this awful disease inside you? How can that be? Everyone copes very differently and there is no one ‘right’ way. If having an imaginary friend is what works for you just now, then that’s fine; you are old enough and intelligent enough to know if that proves to be a problem as things move forward.

Feeling dizzy - as if eveything is out of control is natural too. But once you are clearer on the next steps and have a treatment plan in place, you will find a bit of control returns.

This is a great place for support and encouragement.

Just two things to remember…

  1. There is no such thing as silly question, if it comes tomind, then feel free to ask it
  2. beware Google! Stick to trustworhty sites - the main BCC sire, MacMillan and Cancer Research UK. A lot of stuff on the web is out of date, inaccuaratye or downright dangerous.

I’m sure your folk will understand why you’ve delayed telling them. They may be upset or annoyed at first, but only because they will be worried that you have carried this knowledge alone.

Be gentle with yourself, and make sure you indulge in a few treats and special moments along the way

<hug></hug>

Hi DizzyD

So sorry you find yourself with us but welcome. I was dx 16th august and i remember the feeling of shock and utter disbelief. It does turn your world upside down but there is so much support and helpful info on here which will help you through this horrible journey. It has helped me so much and still is. If you need to talk things through there is the helpline as well.

I can see why you havent told your parents yet and im sure they will understand when you do tell them. Everyone copes differently and if an imaginery friend helps you then thats fine. ((((hug))))

Best Wishes
Clare x

Hi

I’m so sorry that you’re here.

I was diagnosed last November and remember the feelings of disbelief and shock very well, particularly shocking as I was the furthest from ‘ill’ than could be imagined. Be reassured that it will pass, these feelings will ease, especially when you begin your treatment.

I too created an imaginary world, so you’re not alone in this one. I created another lady who had the same diagnosis and treatment as me but didn’t have the same support or lovely life that i have; so when i felt low and sorry for myself I imagined how ‘she’ was doing and what ‘she’ had to look forward to, which wasn’t a lot. This helped me put it into perspective. I also created a whole army that took up residence inside me and blasted the cancer away.

You’ll find a strength that you may not know you possess and you WILL get through this. The advise to not Google is good, you’ll end up with everything if you’re not careful! Rest when needed, cry when needed, laugh when needed, shout and scream and swear - it’s all part of the unfortunate process. You’re standing at the start of it and all you can see is darkness but once it gets going I promse you’ll feel better and you’ll soon see the light.

x

oh I wish i had thought of an imaginary friend who was going through it all. What a nice place to be worrying about a freind rather than yoursef. Mind you I was in complete denial. It was a benigh lump, i was not going to need treatment so there. I was still in an out of body state till i got my results, sort of watching myself go through the paces.

my husband left on a driving trip the day i found out and i did not tell him before he left–what could he have done? And he would have been so worried and frustrated that he was not there to support me. he agreed afterwards that it was completely the right thing to do.

yes i can see that your mind asks ’ what if they got it wrong? Mine was upgraded to Grade 3 after the op, but it was not that bad, just meant I had to have radiotherapy which i was not expecting. Thats all over now. 5 months since finding lump. Still gettting fatigue but its no bad thing at my age.

So when is your op? Tell your freind to download the exercises and start doing them now so the muscles are in good condition and will recover better, and tell her to treat herself to a good sports bra with no wires and seperate cups. She will be much more comfortable after the op if she wears it all the time, especially if she is well endowed. Tell her the op is not a huge thing and I had no post operative pain, did not even take painkillers next day. Lots of odd feelings, bit of soreness but no real pain.

Here is sending you and your freind a hug. Hope you have some family and freinds who can give you a hug too

Hi - U are very normal - When i went to the breast clinic for a swelling in my breast they 90% told me that day that i had cancer. I told them they were wrong as they gave me the all clear the year before. I was alone and they made me get someone to come and drive my car…looking back i was in complete shock and must have came across as a mad woman. I kept saying i am Lorna , check uve got the right person.lol…

You will feel better when u have a treatment plan and start to feel in control more. Telling family is hell , we feel we have to be strong for them initially . My mum has been amazing and i thought she would crumble , instead she is a tower of strengh to me

Thinking of u xxxxxx

Hi

Lorna, I was the same as you, they’d got it wrong, it was a bad dream, and then it slowly dawned on me that I had bc.

Dizzy D, whatever works for you go with it and as everyone says you will find your way through this as we all do.

Best wishes M

Hello Dizzy,

Bless you, yes you are normal! I am pretty detached from what is happening to my body most of the time. I think what you are describing is another coping strategy and if it helps, use it.

Really sorry you are with us, but keep in touch and keep posting, it really helps.

Carolyn x

Hi All
Thank you so much for all yur wishes, I have broke the news to my parents today and it all went pretty well (but I am having a good day today) think my mom might have had a little weep when I left, that was when she let me leave, but I have their support all the way, so feeling a little better now. Just waiting for surgery on 24th. Can I just ask a small question I do feel today like I have pulled a muscle in my poorly one is this normal, its nothing major and I don’t feel that I need to take painkillers but I just keep having the occasional twinge. Thanks Dizzy xx

Well done DizzyD - difficult to tell loved ones and it somehow makes it all real - but they would have been very upset if you had kept it from them.

I have pains in my poorly boob. Mentioned it lots to my oncologist and surgeon - but they didn’t seem worried…

Thanks Sandytoes for your reply, made me feel better with your answer, think I will go and have a little vodka and try and chill, think this is the worst part but 2 weeks and counting (mind trying not to) Take Care xxx