Newbie

Hi there!
I am new here, I am 30 years old, married with 3 kids, On the 29th of october i was diganosed with BC, I had a WLE and senital node biospy on the 13th of november, They found node involvement so on the 11th of dec i had a node clearance, Due to have a bone scan and mri next week and to start chemo after that followed by rads. I have a grade 3(High Grade) That is HER negative.
Just looking for someone to talk to who know what it’s like, Up till now been quite positive but i think it’s a fear of the unknown when it comes to chemo trying to stay calm and positive for my family but inside it’s a different story.
Thanks for listening,
Sorry i when on a bit
Em X

Hi There,

I am also 34 married with 3 kids. got diagnosed on 21st dec and had op on 3rd to remove lump and lymp nodes and sentienal node. I’m still quite stiff under the armpit area bruised and tender in the arm. to be honest i have been on an emotional roller coaster - one day i’m on a total high being positive that the B"""h is out and other days the fear of the unkown just takes over. I’m due to get my results in two weeks to confirm the grade and if the lymp nodes were effected. i know you scared we all are and especially when your so young with a young family. My youngest is 18 months and b4 the op I tried to detach my self from her so she wouldn’t be too clingy after the op but its so hard not to watch and not get too close.

My whole family is really suportive but I also think no-one knows what your going through and how your really feeling inside.

My view is that you need to look at your kids and hubby and take one day at a time. You will most probably notice things that they do and you have always taken for granted. All I can say is be positive and keep you chin up. Think of it like when you go to the gym thats if you do - short term pain for long term gain.

Hope this helps…
Sukes

Hi Em

My diagnosis is similar to yours - grade 3, but I’m HER2+, 1 node involved. I’ve already had my chemo, mastectomy and lymph node removal and am waiting to start radiotherapy. I’m not married yet and I don’t have any children (don’t know if I’ll be able to have any now) so that has got me down quite a lot. I know how hard it is for people who have children as the worry about the future is immense.

The fear of the unknown is the worst. It is so hard to deal with but most people do deal with it in their own way. You will have your ups and downs - we all do and we’re all here for each other at anytime. The chemo is not as terrible as you think. Everybody reacts differently to it and it also depends on the chemo you have. You will be given medication to control any side effects and some people hardly suffer at all.

Please ask if there’s anything you want to know.
Thinking of you

Ruby xxx

Hi Ruby and Sukes,
Thanks for your comments, It’s been a whirlwind 8 weeks, My gp said it was nothing just a normal lumpy breast, only referred me cos i was so worried, Thank god he listened to me!!
My tumor was hiding behind a cyst so you couldn’t feel it, Surgeon said i was lucky to find it. (Don’t feel very Lucky)
My Husband works aboard and was not here when i was told that was the hardest telephone call i ever had to make,
He came home for both my ops, But has to go back to work on the 22nd Just before i start chemo, Not looking forward to that at all,

You right about the fear of the unknown so i’ve been done some research on here,

Good luck and best wishes to everyone!
Em x

Hi Em,

Stay positive. I did much the same as you and started doing a lot of research on this website and the cancer-backup site but i’ve had to talk to myself and stop because sometimes you can look into the smallest of details too much and get yourself worried unneccessarily.

I know its hard because I keep on asking myself the same questions over and over again WHY ME? i’ve done everything to avoid it purely out of lifestyle and I still get it. It really upset me in hospital as in the ward the other women were aged 70+ which made me feel even more cheated. What I tell my self now is i’ve got it/had it/ had the op to remove and need to wait for the next steps. Looking back is not going to achieve or change anything. The fear of the unknown can also eat you up mentally and at this moment in time you need to be there for YOU and your KIDS!.

If you don’t mind me suggesting it try to avoid to much information overload as it may run you down even more. Think of all the people who survive it and the treads in this website prove it. If they can do it so can we and don’t forget I know is sounds nasty but we’ve got age on our side!

Please keep your chin up hon XX

Sukes

Dear Em

Welcome to the forums, I can see you have recieved lots of support already. In addition, you may find our publication ‘Younger women with breast cnacer’ booklet helpful to read, it contains some ideas of ways you can access more support too, including our helpline. You can read it via the following link:

breastcancercare.org.uk/docs/bcc_yw06_web2_0.pdf

Best wishes
Lucy

Hi Em

Your BC sound just like mine. I’m 30, I had grade 3, 1.7mm in size and node involvement, also HER neg. I had a WLE and ANC on 7th Nov. Just started chemo on New Years Eve (3xFEC 3xTAX). It was pants for 4 days, but feel ok now. Back at work for now and plan to stay on as much as poss.

I’m just carrying on as norm. Hope you’re ok.

I was frightened of the chemo, but it wasn’t as bad as I thought, the waiting around was the worst. I like to think I’m a positive person, but there’s been a couple of days where I’ve just needed to cry. Doesn’t mean I’m weak, just natural.

Good luck

love & hugs

Angela

Hi all

Can I join your thread! I was dx Oct with grade 3, her 2 positive and hormone positive tumor, also had some node involvement. I’m on number 4 of 6 chemo and have just come out of hospital as went netropenic but feeling ok at the mo after some anti-biotics. I just wanted to say hi and hope that we can all offer some support to each other through this time. I’m 31 and i dont have any children but i’m trying not to think about that right now, my focus is to get me through this chemo, its getting harder with each one but i’m determined to do it.

Love Mel x x x

Hi Em

Although I am older (39)I too have young children and was told I had BC last April., I was also grade 3 with node envolvement,tumour 5cm big. I had a total clearance, I am also triple neg.I had surgery first,then chemo,then rads.
The best advice my breast nurse gave me was to not to look at the whole picture regarding treatment ,but to focus on one bit at a time. This did help me. With chemo once you have your first one out the way it will seem much less daunting.
If there are any questions you want to ask,please do.

Thinking of you

H xxxx

Hi everyone. I was 29 when I was diagnosed, my son was just 7 months old at the time. I had mastectomy, 6 months of chemo then 3 weeks of radiotherapy. It was hard work as it made me very tired. Some days I could barely get off the sofa and feed my son! But this feeling only really lasted the first week after chemo and the other 2 weeks I was more or less ok. My little boy was amazing, he seemed to adjust his sleeping patterns to match mine, so when I fell asleep for 3 hours during the day, so did he!! My advice to you would be to accept any help that’s offered, if someone offers to look after the kids for a bit, let them, if they want to do the hoovering let them!

Hope it all goes ok for you all xx

Hi All,

I just wanted to add a little something to your posts. I was diagnosed at end of 2004 (quite a while ago), just after my 33rd Birthday. It was Grade 3, 5cm and also had node involvement. I had a Lumpectomy, Chemotherapy, Radiotherapy and now still having Hormone Therapy. At the time I could only deal with things one step at a time and certainly could not see an end to it all, apart from hot flushes and dealing with curly hair I came through it all!

So I guess I’m saying just be strong, I had a huge fear of the unknown but once I had my first Chemo and first Radiotherapy session I knew what to expect the next time.

Things do get easier, as the lady above says if, there is anything you want to ask please do.

Love, Tracey xx

Hi everyone, can I join in too?!

I’m 35, diagnosed 1st August with grade 3 ductal. Have now gone through sentinel node biopsy, 5 lots of chemo and a WLE with node clearance as 1 node affected. They found widespread DCIS so now have to have a mastectomy.

I agree, its scary, but I’ve kind of just gone through one bit at a time and tried not to think too far ahead. I have two kids, aged 6 and 2, and they’ve helped a lot as you have to put on a brave face for them and not mope around.

I found lots of friends, neighbours and acquaintances offered help, and as long as you don’t abuse it too much, it’s definitely worth accepting. Just having people over for coffee helps me too, gives me something else to think about for a few hours. BCN is good too.

Good luck all
xx

Hi everyone!!

Thank you everyone for your kindness and support it really does make a difference, Thanks

Saw my onc yesterday, Start chemo next week, 6 sessions of TAC, 3 weeks between each session, Feel alot more positive now about everything although still really scared , I think the worse thing for me is i have always been very independent and don’t like asking for help, so the idea of maybe having to give in to help is a horrible thought,
Told me kids last night “mummy was going to lose her hair,” My 10 year old daughter was really upset, my 6 year old son said " Mum please don’t pick me up form school with a bald head" the little one didn’t look up form colouring.
It was hard but gald they are prepared now,

Well hope everyone is doing well,

Em X

H i Em

It is good that you have a start date for your chemo,you can start counting them down, it feels good to cross another one off the list.I understand about you being independant and finding hard to accept help,I was the same, you don’t like to ask people and with housework no one can do it as well as you. You will find that people really want to help,it will feel strange to begin with but you will adjust,so take any help offered. Our children are similar ages, when I lost my hair my 10 year old coped ok, but my younger one would not let me kiss him goodnight, or eat at the table without my wig on. One day when I had a scarf on I came downstairs to find the younger one with one of my wigs on and his best friend had the other one on, they were playing air guitar with these long wigs on. Part of me was horrified but then saw the funny side. He used to put my wig on our lab dog,the dog would walk into a room with this long blonde hair. Let us know how you get on after your chemo if you get a chance.

Take care

H xxxxxxxxx

Hi H,

Thanks, i even managed a giggle at the thought of the dog running around in your wig! Kind of thing my kids would end up doing,
I guess u have finished all your treatment now, hows things going now?

Did you work during your treatment? I would like too as i get bored quickly at home, Thought it might help keep me sane too!! (not so much time alone thinking)

I will let u know how i get on wednesday.
Em X

Hi Em

I didn’t work through treatment,for my first three chemo’s I was very tired and would kick back in the week before my next one… with the other three chemo’s I was not so good, but my treatment is different to yours and we all react different.I do remember watching alot of day time TV.Someone told me to imagine it is liquid gold they are putting in you to get back on track,it might sound daft but it helped me by turning it into something positive instead of negative. My treatment is now finished but I am having a few problems so I am back to the hospital for tests on Friday,my bc nurse is not panicking so i am trying not to.I shall be thinking of you tommorow.

H x

Hi Em

I’m due my 2nd chemo on tues 22nd jan. I’ve been working away as normally as poss. I’ve very understanding employers, thank goodness.

My boss said he didn’t expect me to do anything other than what was right for me. Working is what is right at the minute, I want to keep going as long as I can, hopefully that will be until all is done and dusted.

I find being at home isn’t just boring, but I eat way too much. I guess that stems from boredom lol…

Take care

Ang

Hi everyone
I am older again, Ive just turned 40 but keep being told I am young so thought I would join in! I was told I have BC on 28/12, and I have to have a mastectomy on Monday,kind of feels like its not really happening. I have 3 children 17,8 and 5, and feel the same as you Em about needing help, funny really that seems to be a concern! Quite nervous about the op as really dont know what to expect,but reading everyone elses comments it seems i`ve got it easy at the moment.

Take care all…Jess

Hi Jess

Firstly, welcome to the forums, I am sorry to read of your recent diagnosis. You may find our helpline useful to call, it is run by specialist breast care nurses who can help you through this difficult time, listen to your concerns and offer information, advice and support. They are on 0808 800 6000 and open Monday - Friday, 9am - 5pm, Saturday, 9am - 2pm.

In addition, Breast Cancer Care have published a Resource Pack, it has been designed for anyone newly diagnosed with information to help you better understand your diagnosis, test results and various treatments, it is available via the following link or by contating the helpline:

breastcancercare.org.uk//content.php?page_id=7514

Also, feel free to access the younger women’s information given to Em above in an earlier post as this may also be of interest to you.

I do hope you find this information of some help.

Best wishes
Lucy

Hi Everyone,

Well one down five to go!! Wasn’t as bad as i thought it would be, Feeling ok at the mo! Hope it lasts!!
Just feeling a little tried!! Finding it hard to slow down i not good at let people take over so i’ve already cleaned the house and done the washing this morning.

Promised my husband i will rest this afternoon !!

Hope everyones doing ok too,

Jess- Good luck with the op on Monday, You will be fine, I’ll be thinking of you!! Let me know how you get on.

Ang- Are you on the same chemo as me Tac? How is the first cycle going, feeling ok i hope? I think i will see how i go on this first cycle before i decide what to do!
I am a teaching assitant in a class on 30 busy, very active 4&5 year olds, The risk of infection worries me, U know, Flus and bugs fly around school,

H - Sorry you are having problems, Lets hope they are cleared up quickly, Thinking of you, Take care x

Hope to speak to everyone again soon
Em Xx