I was diagnosed on 12th December with ER+ PR- HER - grade 2 breast cancer. Since then my emotions have been all over the place , crying one minute to feeling positive the next.
I have a lumpectomy booked for 5th of Jan and I’m terrified , terrified of everything ! The op - will I wake up ?The diagnosis- will I leave to see my grandchildren grow up . Will I need Chemo etc etc . I’m an absolute emotional wreck
I’ve chosen not to tell many people only very close family , mainly I didn’t want to be treated any differently or looked on with pity .
I’ve tried so hard to hold it together. I have my pre-op tomorrow and today is a bad day , my husband has even told me I’ve ruined this Christmas . I feel so sad , so alone.& so scared not just about the op but the future .
Hiya it feels like a disaster I know. Ive been through it twice. 2004 and again this year in June. It really can be treated and I managed 21years between.
This time its grade 2 so my treatment has been lumpectomy of previous mastectomy and radiotherapy, no chemo. Everything has been ok to cope with. Please ask any questions you want/need on this forum. Theres an awful lot of help/experience.
I hope whatever treatment you face goes well but please ask any questions no matter how trivial they feel xxx
Sending you a big hug. It’s normal to feel all of these emotions I don’t think there will be a single person in this forum that doesn’t have days like that. I am laughing one minute then watch my daughter do something and am crying the next. We are human and our bodies are being put through the mill, again normal to be frightened of. I think you’re doing the right thing though getting it off your chest here and maybe you should call your nurse and ask for another chat for extra support. As for your husband I am sure he didn’t mean it he will be worried and anxious too. Having been a supportive person to my Mum during her battle with cancer I actually feel it’s just as tough on the supportive person too.
I don’t know if this is helping or if I am waffling rubbish as I’m also new to all this. Good luck with everything I hope you feel a bit better soon. X
Goodness me. I will hold my tongue about what response to give your husband. Im sure he can be forgiven for feeling as worried as you are and not being able to get that across very well.
I had the same diagnosis on 3rd November and just over 2 weeks ago I had my lumpectomy with sentinel node biopsy and am now waiting the results. It was more than manageable I promise.
The news you have been given is life changing and we all deal with it very differently. Some people power through, some crash completely for a while, some are in denial. But what ever you feel is ok.
I do feel your pain with the op anxiety, I was ok up until the day or 2 before and then the nerves really kicked in. You just cope though. You make sure you are as prepared as you can be, do as much for yourself as you can physically and mentally, and put 1 foot infront of the other and get it all done. The lumpectomy where I am is just at the day surgery and once you are on the ward you just get swept up in all the comings and goings. You’ll do absolutely fine
If you have any specific questions ask away. We are all in this together
I’ve really tried to hold it together & I think I’m one of those people who are in denial that now things are happening ( pre op.) it’s beginning to feel very real and I’m spiralling.
Today I needed that reassuring hug more than ever and was told I’d ruined Christmas. I’ve spent all afternoon upstairs crying while he watches football downstairs. I feel so alone ..
I’m glad to hear your operation went well , do you mind me asking how.recovery is going and if you needed to get anything special in preparation?
I’m sorry your having to go through this yet again .
I still can’t believe this is happening to me , am sure it’s like that for alot of people.
I’m trying hard to stay positive but I’m worried about everything, even wearing compression socks for 2 weeks after the op ! Stupid I know considering but everything is just overwhelming.
My biggest realisation is even after the op it isn’t over . Its another wait.for results and then treatment . I know I’m at the beginning of a long journey.but I’m worried what that journey will look like x
Hey, please do not be terrified, easier said from other people. I had my lumectomey march 2023 followed by chemo therapy and radio therapy. I also was scared,could not stop crying but its really ok. The staff are brilliant and there is so much support from the breast care nurses throughout your treatments, any problems and they will be there for you. I would also suggest a hobby to take your mind of things . Also keep on this forum for help. I think everyone feels like they are on there own but there is so much support here. Take care , relax and take every day as it comes, do not push yourself and surround yourself with positive people. Xxxx
I still remember the feeling of the simple things like compression stockings and thoughtless reactions of nearest ans dearest!
At Christmas 2003/4 I was going through the diagnosis stage. I had never had a days illness, let alone an operation. Everything was very scary. My main worry was having an anaesthetic and waking up after.
All was well in the end though. This latest diagnosis was a walk in the park compared to the first time. So I totally understand your worries. Just remember you have lots of support here and no matter how small your worry or how thoughtless folk around you are, you have us.
Have read you have to wear the stockings for 2 weeks is that right? In the big scheme of things it’s nothing but I couldn’t stand them for 9 hour flight never mind 2 weeks.!
There are so many unanswered questions … Ive read alot about people having MRI & CT scans and yet ive not been offered either of those and dont understand why .
It’s the unknown that scares me . I have huge anxiety when it comes to anything medical so for me this is off the scale xx
Hi @butterflywing well done for finding us, you’ll get a lot of support here.
Your surgery is not too far away now and my biggest advice to you is to be proactive in eating well, exercising and getting as much sleep as possible as the fitter you are the easier the recovery. I was a few weeks off 67 when I had my lumpectomy and wasn’t as fit as I could have been but found following this advice AND doing the exercises you’re given post surgery (very important) meant that recovery was quite quick and painless. I didn’t take any of the pain medication they sent me home with. With regard to the surgery per se, I took the view to surrender myself to it as these surgeons and anaesthetists are doing this several times a day, every day following years of training so not much is likely to go wrong. Nope surgical stockings are not a two week commitment . I was out at the end of the day and was looked after for the first five days by my brother and SIL as napping was a big thing. If you are the home-maker, perhaps preparing meals in advance that can be frozen and heated up?
With regard to the long term outlook, I echo the point that we all probably go through these worries in the early days so don’t beat yourself up about it. The truth is that no-one dies of early stage breast cancer as your breasts are not organs. The treatment plan, which the experts have devised for you, is designed to make as sure as they can that the cancer doesn’t spread. The percentage of women who go through diagnosis and treatment and go on to lead cancer-free lives is very high. Over 65% of us don’t have to have chemotherapy - I didn’t and I’m three and a half years past diagnosis and all my annual tests have been clear. So, things won’t be as bleak as you perhaps fear. As for your husband, all I’ll say is we all have stories of bloody stupid and horrid things that have been said to us but that one is particularly nasty. I hope he steps up in early January when you have your surgery. Keep posting here with questions, rant or just to tell us how you’re feeling, we have all been there and we absolutely get it. You are most definitely not alone. Take strength and courage from us. Big hugs.
Thankyou Tigress, I really appreciate you reaching out and it helps to know I’m not alone .
I’m struggling to deal with my own thoughts at the minute and for him to put the guilt of ruining his Christmas on me just made me spiral . I didn’t ask for this diagnosis, I didn’t set out to ruin his Christmas!
I don’t have a treatment plan yet , do people usually have a set plan before their op? I was told lumpectomy with SLNB followed by radiation and hormone therapy and maybe the need for chemo but I can’t remember why he said I may need that ( I’m praying I don’t.)
There are so many unanswered questions , worries and feelings of guilt , I’m just so overwhelmed x
I’m sorry you’re going through this. I am 2 months in. 67 yrs old. I am 12 days out from the same? surgery you’re having. The surgery was easy. 2 hours long I think. L breast lumpectomy and they removed over 6 lymphnodes. Not bad. First 2 days were tiring…but NOT BAD! My only advice is don’t overwork your arm. Cooking, dishes, laundry can set you back. I know cuz I overdid it yesterday…mistake! BTW your husband made an asshole statement. He is just scared and helpless. My adult kids are similar. THEY don’t have cancer but somehow think they know how I should act and be.
How you feel is correct. You will be fine during your surgery. BUT only those with cancer currently or in their past know anything about how you feel. Also…go to God with everything! I have been a bit of a negative Nancy lately. Cancer has beat me up. I am down but not out…I hope
No problem, if you can read the info the hospital gives you , i didnt but wished i had, its really helpful. Also make sure you follow their advise on the exercises and stretches after the op, hard at first but will help you in the long run. Stay on this forum people and nurses will give you advise xxx
tell him he can enjoy next year’s Christmas!! Be Elsa and LET IT GO!
I am giggling a bit. Everything for YOU is different now. Your outlook to the future..your past..who you are..how you look..your emotions.. Your everything is changing. I have cried and would’ve screamed if I wouldn’t scare everyone! Ha! I am a complete skeptic. I don’t trust the doctors. I research EVERYTHING! and now…my life is in their hands! The irony! But am making my decisions. I let them know what’s acceptable to me.
You are perfectly alright. Be kind to yourself. Find your power. Your faith. Bring all that your are to the table. You are good! GOD IS GOOD! Stand .
You don’t have cancer. You have a disease in your body named cancer that you have to work to evict. Love you! Prayers up!
You have a tentative treatment plan - surgery, radiotherapy and possible endocrine treatment (tablets). That is classic for er+ cancer which is what around 70% of breast cancers are, mine included. I’m afraid we’re very common . They will need to get the tumour out and under the microscope to confirm the histology and from that they will confirm your treatment plan. As you have a grade 2 er+ tumour, they may well send it to the US for an Oncotype test. This determines whether you need chemotherapy or not, it also gives a percentage chance of recurrence which can be very helpful when deciding on elements of your treatment. Alas it can take a couple of weeks to get the Oncotype result but the main thing is that the tumour will be out of your body by that point which is the most effective part of treatment.
You mention not having had MRI or scans. They generally are used if the initial biopsies and ultrasounds aren’t able to give a clear view of the size of the tumour or if more than one tumour is suspected. Generally women with dense breast tissue are more likely to have MRIs as mammograms don’t pick up anomalies as well in dense breasts - the older you are the less dense breast tissue becomes. Also those with suspected lobular carcinoma are likely to have MRIs or scans as lobular is not a lump per SE (more like layer upon layer) and once again are less likely to be picked up by mammograms. It sounds very much as if this does not apply to you so I would take that as a positive. I didn’t need them either. It’s a horrid thing that you didn’t expect, don’t understand and certainly didn’t ask for but I honestly think you’ll be fine but I get that you won’t be convinced of that until you’ve had the surgery. Keep posting here if it helps.
tell him he can enjoy next year’s Christmas!! Be Elsa and LET IT GO!