I continue to be in awe of the strength of the people in this forum. How wonderful are these replies
To prepare for the operation I had a light weight dressing gown, front button pjs because you wont want to lift your arm above your head for a week or so (I had a few pairs of these so I could wear them at home for a while, they really do help) and I had a flask of ginger tea because I knew the anesthetic was going to make me feel queasy. It was cold by the time I drunk it but it did the job. I wish I had also taken a bottle of water as I was very dehydrated after and the day surgery is busy, there arent as many cups of tea as you’d like.
I also had a front zipped bra top. I recommend getting this on as soon as you can before you leave the hospital. I feel like I timed it just right and had the pain killers in me still.
It’s just about going slow. No lifting, no vacuuming, no over your head tops, no driving for a couple of weeks. So things heal nicely.
You should be resting, hydrating, eating, taking paracetamol and doing the exercises they give you. You might want to give your husband a heads up that for the first week atleast he is incharge of cooking dinner and washing dishes etc haha.
This forum is great for support and information but if you can seek out a local breast cancer group. I know not everyone is on facebook but you should be able to find one on there. Breast cancer can feel so lonely and isolating. For weeks I wandered around wondering who else around had it, did people know I had it, why was it just me that had it!?!?! So I reached out to a local group, met up with them and I hope to meet up with them again in the future. Hopefully it will help us be around people who have been through similar. It wasn’t exactly the club I was looking to join but I will embrace it haha
Oh @butterflywing It’s so hard at this stage… you’ve had lots of supportive messages already, but I also wanted to give you a virtual hug at this horrible time
I had a mastectomy and reconstruction 28 months ago and it’s all a distant memory really. I had an MRI scan because I had invasive lobular bc, and have dense breasts apparently. Not everyone needs this scan, so don’t let the fact you haven’t had one worry you - your medical team know what is necessary.
Waiting for surgery, and the results is the hardest time, my lovely. This forum is the best place for support - we all get it!!
You definitely haven’t ruined Christmas for anyone- it’s natural to feel panicked!!
Sending hugs and positive thoughts. Keep us posted xx
Thankyou so much for reaching out it really does mean alot .
I never thought I’d be going through this let alone without the support of my husband so having you ladies to talk to really does help and.calms my mind .
It’s a long road but like all you wonderful ladies I will get there. xxx
I’m pleased you’ve had plenty of responses already which shows you are not on your own. The wonderful people here will be there to support you, just as they were for me when I was diagnosed last year.
Like you I had a Grade 2 ER+/HER- IDC plus a couple of Grade 1s and some DCIS for good measure. I had a lumpectomy, radiotherapy and now taking tamoxifen. I remember the fear so well and I know it is overwhelming and frightening now, but none of the treatments have been as bad as I thought they would be and lots of people seem to say similar.
I didn’t have chemo, I was told from the outset that I would be if either the grade ended up being higher after results or there was cancer on any lymph nodes. They said it was because I was young at 46 which made my day (got to take the small wins!). With regards the socks which I have read you are worried about, I only had to wear them for 24 hours so that’s something to check.
I see you have your pre-op today so I hope this goes okay. Remember we are all with you in your pocket. x
Hi! So sorry you’re going through a tough time and I just firstly want to say you have NOT ruined Christmas, you didn’t choose this and how you are feeling is completely valid it’s a very scary time!! Like you I’ve also chosen not to tell many people, only my husband, Mum and mother in law know. I really needed help with childcare so I maybe would of kept it between my and my husband otherwise but like you I don’t want pity and the little head tilt look people give you!! I’m really glad now I’ve kept it quiet, although I do have a lot of realky supportive friends and family I didn’t want the constant check ins off people (although they mean well I just wanted to forget about it inbetween appointments).
I had the same diagnosis as you on 30th October and had my lumpectomy and SNLB to check lymph nodes on 16th Dec and it was all very straight forward, met a couple of other ladies on the ward in for similar things to me. Recovery has been really well, I just feel a little teary today but I think its post christmas blues and a little bit too much sugar at Christmas but other than that all good!!
Take a front button top and somethkng to do whilst waiting to go in for surgery and make sure you do the exercises they give you from the day after, you’ll be well looked after and sent home wuth pain meds which i used for about a week.
For the 1st week or 2 after diagnosis I didn’t know how I was going to get through the next day i was petrified but after hearing so many positive stories on here of ladies 20+ years after diagnosis still cancer free and living their best lives it really helped me!!
Sending you love @butterflywing and I hope your husband has had a rethink about his reaction. Maybe things get said that aren’t intended in times of severe stress. I do hope that is the case.
Anyway, more importantly, I’m here to talk to you. I just want to reassure you as others have done, that lumpectomy is entirely manageable. When I woke up I reported the pain as 5 out of 10 and managed just on paracetamol. I took it easy for a couple of days, but was well enough to do do some work marking assignments after that. Just keep doing the exercises.
Your worry is entirely normal and understandable, but you will have an army of us on your shoulder on the day, so keep that in mind. Sending lots of love and moral support. XXX
To get ready I have bought button down pj’s, face clothes! Baby wipes, button down shirts for appointments as I usually wear dresses or jumpsuits. I got a mastectomy pillow ( although not having a mastectomy) partly because I have a cat and she likes walking up and down me!
There are practical things you can do - move things in the kitchen to the counter - go for daily walks.
You also have your nurses, MacMillian and if there is a Maggies nearby you can phone them or email for support and there are people on here you can link with to be supportive to you.
I’ve found this has helped me have some control over a situation I have no control over.
I also journal. Maybe write a letter to your husband about your feelings. I do this and don’t send them or let them read them, it’s just to get things out of my head and it helps.
I’m sorry you feel you don’t have the support you need. We are here.
I’m just coming up to 4 years post my cancer diagnosis with was New Year’s Eve 2021 in the height of covid. I remember of New Year’s Day going for a walk and seeing lots of friends who were all wishing us a happy new year and I just wanted to tell them all to F… Off . Obviously I didn’t . I don’t think your husband realises how hurtful his comment was and how unsupportive he is being. Would telling him be an option . The feelings you are having are quite normal . I couldn’t get my head around anything and was all over the place I felt completely overwhelmed . Reach out for help - the breast cancer now help line is fab as is the someone like me service . I also used Maggies. All my screening tests have been clear and I’m fitter and doing lots of crazy adventures . Wishing you all the very best . Take care .
Hi butterflywing, first well done for opening up here you are in the club no one wants to be in secondly cry and rant away then try and process bits when you can as it’s such a challenging bombshell to accept.
Cancer can be a very lonely place in your head if you allow it so don’t coz believe me you are definitely not alone . It’s just so much to deal with , you WILL get through this I promise, be kind to yourself , get pen n paper jot down thoughts and questions you may want to ask , I had lumpectomy on the 14th dec 22 then chemo an radio also herceptin January 23 .
It was a rollercoaster of emotions I never knew existed, you are not alone please don’t suffer in silence there are things you can access to help , you my lovely are a warrior woman , the treatments now are so progressive and we are screened more regularly also people live with and beyond a cancer diagnosis, please stay positive and surround yourself with like minded people who will support and understand you
I’m sorry your husband’s reaction was flat but it’s a shock to hear about anyone he will probably regret saying it
Stay strong and please keep posting all the best hun XXX
Thankyou for your reply , I understand it a little better now.
Does every grade 2 ER+ get sent for an oncotype test? I’m absolutely dreading having to have chemo so praying it won’t be necessary.( feels like I’m dreading everything at the moment).
I hope one day to he through the other side and able to give support and reassurance to other ladies starting their.journey xx
Thankyou for reaching out it’s very much appreciated .
I think in reality my husband is struggling and yesterday was a reaction he didn’t mean .
Have had pre-op today so I theory next step is op on Monday which I’m dreading but also will be glad just to get it out of the way and pray for clear margin and nodes xx
Thankyou so much for reaching out , support from lovely ladies like yourself means such alot .
I’ve had my pre op today and left feeling more positive, its only now as the day goes on the doubts creep in . I tell myself it’s normal and I’m allowed to feel how I feel . I’m definitely trying to be a warrior like you and all the ladies on here .
Thanks again for reaching out , it’s good to know I’m not alone xx
Thankyou for reaching out , your support means alot and it helps me realise I’m not alone .
I’m glad your experience of the lumpectomy was a positive one, did you have an SLND as well?
I’ve had my pre op today and was feeling more positive afterwards it’s only as the day goes on that doubts start to creep in again . I keep telling myself that this time next week the op will be over and hopefully I won’t need another one .
Thankyou again for reaching out I really do appreciate you and all the other ladies taking the time to reassure me xx
Thankyou so much for reaching out it really is appreciated.
I’m glad your op went well and recovery is going well for you to .
I’ve had my pre op today , op on Jan 5th so am hoping by this time next week it’s done and I can be thinking about coming home .
I agree the positive stories on here really help to see that there is life after a diagnosis . Like you I’ve found the weeks post diagnosis really difficult to cope with , happy and positive one minute then in the depths of despair and and fear the next.
I feel so lucky to have found this group and lovely ladies like yourself who are willing to support me through this.
Thankyou for your lovely message it really is appreciated.
It’s good that you didn’t need chemo ( it’s something I’m dreading) . Did they think you may need it because your only 46 or not need it because your 46 ? I’m 60 don’t sure what age they consider it for.
How are you finding the Tamoxifen , have you had any side effects?
Thankyou again for reaching out it really is appreciated xx
Thankyou so much for reaching out it really is appreciated and thankyou for the tips you’ve given me .
I’m going to buy some button pjs and blouses ready for next week . I sleep on my left side and op is on right side so am hoping sleeping won’t be too much of a problem .
Thankyou again for yoir support it really is appreciated xx
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but like you I don’t want pity and the little head tilt look people give you!! I’m really glad now I’ve kept it quiet, although I do have a lot of realky supportive friends and family I didn’t want the constant check ins off people (although they mean well I just wanted to forget about it inbetween appointments).
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