So fantastic to read this! Gives me so much hope! Diagnosed in October 2025, now 4 months on Letrozol, seems to be working very well.
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sleeping tabs make me feel like a zombie too! What sleep aid tablets did you use take?
I totally understand. I found a lump on 6th December and couldnât get any diagnosis until 23rd January. worried all Christmas and told myself to let go but it was so hard. Then they flatly told me that I had cancer and were not kind about it. offered a mastectomy, even though I didnât need it, so that threw me into a fear state. I donât feel women get enough support at these times when they are diagnosed. So I am sending you love and hope you are through that time now. I am waiting to have operation. I am willing things to go well for you all through your treatment.
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I am Southend and also and had a wait to have biopsy and then another wait to find out all due to being too near Christmas. I chose not to stay with Southend. I found all the waiting was the worst thing. The mind creates many scenarios that are hard to ignore. I did a lot of mediation⊠Helped sometimes but overall a lot of fear and stress around Cancer of the breast. It is such a precious part of us women and an identity of being a woman for me. The shock lingered!
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The loss of my breast has felt harder than I ever new possible. X
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I canât imagine how terrible that is for you. I am so sorry you are going through this. I feel women get the toughest time and I had shock when I was offered mastectomy straight of before knowing the full details or being able to take anything in. It was what was offered to me as a first choice. I went into shock. I made decision to have lumpectomy and have no idea what will come next. Have to take it a day at a time. I donât want to fear my body. I want to feel love for it even though it has cancer. Its just not feeling so good right now and so I love my body even more and hold myself. And I donât know where I am going. Just doing what feels right and we all have to do that. I think you are amazing sbee truly amazing and wish I could hug you. sending a virtual hug. X
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Aw, thankyou for replying.. I really loved my body too & now just feel so so sad. Sadly, with ibc there is no option - i did have a discussion with a female oncologist who said she was actually not âproâ mastectomy but that I had no option. I feel part of my femininity has gone & I also couldnât have immediate reconstruction. 
The last thing i remember is the surgeon pulling out my breast from my bra, drawing a cross on it & i woke up and it was gone. Sometimes i think about the fact that he was probably (amongst others in surgery) the last man (i am straight) to see my breast.
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@sbee I think I am beginning to understand this. Up to now I have been really detached from the whole mastectomy thing emotionally. In a couple of weeks it is going to be a reality for me too. I saw a picture of me yesterday. Bald, spotty with chemo rash, big bloated chemo belly. I looked at my boobs and imagined being lop sided on top and had to fight back tears. I already look like a circus freak in my eyes. How much more can we be expected to take? Just horrific.
I know, I know, grand scheme of things and all that, but can we not dare to dream to continue living and feel good about ourselves too? I went into this looking like a woman. Moving through it, I donât recognise myself any more.
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Horrific is definitely the right word. & to think a year ago i had no idea that this world even existed! I feel i have been ill informed. Cut up and spat out. X
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@sbee I know exactly what you mean. And there is no platitude in the Universe that will make any of this feel better for us while we are in the midst of it. Maybe over time things fade, and we develop a different perspective, but right now we are still in that middle space where âold usâ is still visible, and ânew usâ is yet to be invented. Iâm sure we will all find our path through it, but right now it is ok for us to come on here and express how we are feeling without judgment. This is why I value this space so much.
I hope between us we can find our respective paths while knowing we have travelling companions. I value each and every person that contributes to this forum. x
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Apologies, donât want to take over or distract from this post. I have days when I just wish the bloody thing would take me quickly tbh.
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I donât personally feel an apology is required. I think that the theme of feeling alone means that what youâre feeling is relevant to this thread. sending a hug xxx
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Just feel sorry for everything all the time! Thanks for your kindness. Xx
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@sbee hugging you. xxx
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Hi sbee I hope youâre feeling a little better today 
I get it
Cancer is just vile isnât it! Such an awful, cruel disease it really is.
I struggle terribly with anxiety and depression. Itâs all the unknowns, trying to tolerate the medication, the constant worry, spiralling thoughts. The list goes on sadly.
Sending such big hugs your way
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@sbee My heart goes out to you, and all the other ladies suffering at the moment, when you get low life becomes so difficult, no one understands how your feeling, however we are all here for you with love and support.
Take one day at a time, with the biggest hugs to everyone
Love Tili 
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Donât apologise for posting on this post , itâs what itâs here for
Like all the other lovely ladies on here we are here for you whenever you need some extra support , someone to chat to or someone to rant at .
This is a safe space where you can get out all your feelings and worries and know you will get support and love from ladies who are going through or have been through the same or similar to you.
Always here if you need to chat.
Sending lots of love xx
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