Newly diagnosed and feeling really ill already....

Hi there

 

I am 47 and was diagnosed last Wednesday with a grade 3 lump in my left breast. They don’t think it’s in my lymph nodes but my mri is on 29th September and I’m guessing I will know more then. They are going to operate within the next 3 weeks or so. 

 

My worry is this - Since diagnosis, I now have memories of heavy night sweats about a year ago, also of extreme nausea about 2 months ago as I was trying to get to sleep. Could the cancer have been in my body for that long without me knowing? I’m a busy mum of 2 small boys so have put down my recent tiredness to this  - but I’m guessing the tiredness is my body trying to fight the cancer. 

 

Since diagnosis, my anxiety levels have been through the roof and I can’t stop crying. I’m completely paranoid that I have cancer elsewhere and since diagnosis, I’ve been feeling really nauseous and have aches everywhere in my body. I know noone can give me any answers, but I just need to express this somewhere as I don’t want to scare my husband. 

 

 

Elaine you poor thing. What you are feeling is very normal. Once you have got some results you will feel better. It’s so hard especially with young kids. There is a thread called recently diagnosed and needing to talk we have been on here for a while now but totally understand how you are feeling especially the aches and pains it’s the stress of how you are feeling that will subside once you know what you are dealing with. You will talk to some lovely ladies on here and feel very supported big hugs to you xxxxxxxxxx

Hi Elaine,like Sarah said we totally understand how you are feeling it’s like being run over by a bus ,totally overwhelming and terrifying in the beginning.Most of us have experienced aches and pains after diagnosis and convinced ourselves that this is the cancer having spread,my right breast started to ache even though it was in my left and I had had clear results from mammogram, it is most likely anxiety. Breast cancer is usually pretty slow growing so it could have been developing for a while and I guess your body could have been trying to fight it,this doesn’t mean it is anywhere apart from your breast.I had no symptoms at all not even a lump so we are all different.As Sarah said you will feel better once you know exactly what happens next and when.It does get easier and less overwhelming, very difficult for people who haven’t been through it to understand and as you say you don’t like to scare friends and family by voicing your darkest thoughts.Come and talk with us on the “Just diagnosed and wanting to talk thread” ,you are not the only one going through this by far.

Hi Elaine I’m 45 and was diagnosed in June had a lumpectomy in August it was grade 3 and positive for both targeted therapies. I’m now waiting to start 21 weeks of chemo and then 4 weeks of radio. I didn’t feel ill but I did feel stressed and anxious and that takes its toll on your body. It’s hard when you don’t want to worry those close to you. I waited nearly 6 weeks from disgnosis to op and I was thinking exactly the same as you. Thankfully mine had not spread and I had a clear margin around the lump but every day is still hard. Take little steps and daily steps don’t jump ahead. Good luck with treatment and deal with each stage as it happens x x x

Thank you Jill, Sarah and Marie for replying to my post. I haven’t been back on here for a while as I think I needed some time to digest the fact of having breast cancer. Marie - I’m so glad yours hadn’t spread and am hoping I will have the same. I have my MRI tomorrow and will get the results on Friday. The whole thing is so nerve wracking on so many levels … I will go onto the newly diagnosed thread that you suggest Jill and Sarah

Elaine xx

Good luck with your MRI hopefully will put your mind at rest and get a clearer picture of what happens next .

Good luck for Friday Elaine let us know how it goes x I’m now on week 8 after operation (had to wait for wound to heal) and feeling more myself… Hopefully chemo start date within the next week so I can tackle the next stage and get it behind me x it’s a long road but it’s got to be done! Xxx

Hi there. I was called back for further tests after my mammogram.  I had an ultra sound and a biopsi. I was shown an X-ray of my mammogram with a white mass on it.  The radiographer said we are looking at that section there.  I was so scared. I said be straight with me. She said come back for your results on the 19th November, bring someone with you if you can, also bring your medication .I said then what happens. She said you will have an operation , as a day patient, a general anaesthetic. I just burst into tears. I was too upset to ask straight out if it was CANCER. In my heart I think it is. This was only yesterday. I haven’t stopped cryng since. I am 61 years old. Work full time. Don’t know what to do or here to turn…Can anyone offer me any support please…

 

 

Hi everyone,

I’m 31 and I was diagnosed with breast cancer last week. I’ve got 5 lumps but only one was fully biopsied and that one is positive for cancer. The other four and a gland were biopsied that day and I’m now waiting for the results and a recommended next steps.

I don’t feel I’ll, I’m physically well, I just can’t stop crying and I was meant to go to work today and I’m still in bed (fortunately I can work from home, though it’s generally frowned upon).

Please tell me someone else was the same? My family and bf are amazingly supportive and I am sure it will all be fine, its just the not knowing what’s next.

Thank you x

Hi Charlie, sorry to hear of your diagnosis. How you’re reacting and feeling is exactly how I did, and how a number of other members on here did as well. Through out my biopsy and ultrasound/mammogram stage pre-diagnosis I was too depressed to get out of bed or eat, didn’t want to see people and was living off of one slice of toast and numerous cups of tea a day. However, after I had my diagnosis things changed and I started to take more care of myself and began to ‘live’ again as I then knew what I was dealing with and what I needed to do to get it out of me.

I’m young like you, I’m 35 and was diagnosed on 01/10/15. I had a 3cm lump in right breast (grade 2 invasive ductal) with involvement of lymph nodes under right arm. On 05/11/15 I had a mastectomy and full lymph node clearance. It’s been a lot easier to deal with physically than I imagined it would be. Once you know what you are dealing with you will find it easier and we are all here to support you should you need it. Sissy xx

Hi Charlie, sorry you are joining us but we are a good bunch and will support you all we can ? waiting on results is the absoloute pits, things will get easier once you have the whole story , its just so scary being in limbo but once you know and can crack on with treatment you do feel more in control, just take it easy now and only do what you feel up to doing Xx Jo

Hi Lovely Ladies,

 

Elaine67 - I Hope it all went well and still IS with you, whatever your diagnosis and treatment was. You didn’t let us know. It’d be great to hear from you as to how you are. If you need any extra support at ANY time, albeit “virtual”, it still has an effect  x

 

Oh Gaynor - what a gawd awful experience. That’s definitely straight talking. BUT, between you and who? - a Radiologist!! Sorry ,i’m a bit shocked that your diagnosis WASn’t delivered by a breast consultant, haven’t heard of such.

I’m 56, had 2 x mastectomies 2006/07. Don’t ask me all the exacts 'cos all I can remember was it was lobular, very aggressive and oestrogen receptive. But hey you, I’m still here. no other probs. Do you have a husband or partner, children to support you or anyone else close? or are you having to cope alone ?? Whichever, whatever, you’ve found such a good place to be here. Whether it’s to talk about your worries/concerns, have a rant, sob, ask about experiences/advice, just chat. There’s usually SOMEone who’s been through the same, because SADLY, there are soooo many of us.  

Please will you let us know how you go on with your results - we’re all gunning for you here darlin. x

 

Charlie, 31 is incredibly young for a BC diagnosis, however you are still waiting on the rest of you results, so try not to think the worst yet !! Easy for me to say, never expected it for and of myself at 46 (then) see above. Listen, it’s a huge massive shock - traumatic. If your boss is a man, I could guarentee he’d prob spend a week in bed !! not just a day !! That was good of him to send that message so he’s obviously sympathetic, which always helps.Please go easy and gently on yoursself. Have you had your results yet ??

 

Lotsa love Delly xx

  

Hi All

 

Delly - Thanks for asking after me - So I had a lumpectomy in October but unfortunately they didn’t have a clear margin so I had to go in for another op last Monday. I’m waiting to hear next Wednesday whether or not they now have a clear margin. If they do, I’m starting AC chemotherapy followed by radiotherapy around 9 December. The most difficult bit of news that I’m digesting at the moment is that I have triple negative bc which is a bit of a blow - also there is a strong possiblity that I am BRCA1 positive as my mum has had bc too - I will get genetic tests back in the middle of January. On the plus side there was no lymph node involvement. I’m going for a full head shave the day before I start chemo (I have hair down to my waist and can’t bear to watch it fall out) - I’m strangely looking forward to shaving my head as it seems to be the only part of this that I have any control over!

 

Charlie - you will feel so much better when you know what you’re dealing with and can start to take steps to deal with it. I’m so sorry you’ve had this when you’re so young. I currently reading a book called the C-word which is written by a lady who had bc at about your age - maybe not for now, but when you know what your treatment plan is it may be helpful. I think you are getting your results today and I am thinking about you… 

 

Elaine xx

Elaine - I love that you are shaving your head. You are one brave lady.

Hi Elaine and everybody,

That’s a very interesting, valid point you made there  ref shaving your head “it’s the only part of this that I feel I have any control over”. A huge part of my initial shock was feeling my body “had let me down” despite having taken care of it, very fit,  ate very healthyly, drank in moderation. And yeh, you’re right, all of a sudden you’re just carried along with very little control of anything.

Triple -ve? you’ll have to enlighten me I’m afraid. Is that the reason that you have to have chemo, despite no node involvement ?? I hope things are clear for you on Wednesday. “I can’t beLIEVE it” (bit of Victor Meldrew)  that your genetic results take until mid Jan !! Oh, and Elaine,your previous hot sweats could possibly have been initial symptoms of “the change” x

 

Sissy - ello me dear. Glad to hear you say it was a lot easier phys than you thought it would be. EXERCISES woman - GIVE ME SIX OF EACH NOW!! x  

 

Hope all the rest of you are doing okay. Charlie, am following you on t’other thread

Delly xxx

I agree shaving your head does give you some control. I was diagnosed June. Had a few ups and downs ended up with full mc and node removal. I am now going through chemo ( which has thrown up extra challenges. You can probably see my journey on “recently diagnosed” I am about to restart this week at least I will feel in control again. That is the only thing I can’t cope with. I am struggling with my 2 and a half year old but I put my focus there and it helps xxxxx

HI All - 

Delly - triple negative means that I have no oestrogen/progesterone/HER2 receptors in my cancer so it will not respond to treatments to suppress hormones (like tamoxifen/arimadex/herceptin) -i.e. suppressing my hormones wouldn’t make any difference as my cancer is not ‘fed’ by hormones. Triple negative accounts for about 10-20% of cancers  and tends to happen in younger women. The only treatment available is therefore  chemotherapy and radiotherapy - that’s the long winded answer to why I’m having chemo and radio even though I have no node involvement. The scariest thing about triple negative is that it has a higher recurrence rate than other breast cancers for the first five years and I think it’s more like to come back to other areas of the body. There is also a 30 per cent chance with triple negative that it’s hereditary and that I have the BRCA1 gene (my mum also had bc) - in which case I will decide to have a double mastectomy and ovaries out after my current treatment starts (oh yes - it just gets better and better!)

 

Charlie - I followed you onto the other board - really pleased for you that only one of the 5 was bc. x

Hi Elaine - thanks for taking the time tro explain. Afraid I’m a stickler for all the info and details, which must be a bit annoying to some people. It’s because I’m interested in anything to do with this disease, but also ANYthing medical. I got about your Mum and inherant gene, therefore your test. Still think Jan is along time to have to wait on results.Where’s your sample gone - Venus and back !!  I wouldn’t blame you for deciding to elect for other mastectomy. But if it isn’t oestrogen/hormone receptive - why would you have to have ovaries removed as well ?? Surely, if you’re young, you’d be better to hang onto those ? not just for their eggs, but also the youth giving benefits of oestrogen - skin, hair, teeth, nails, bones, mental state, body fat shape, hot flushes etc.etc. (hence me calling it youthgiving - It’s cos I’m jealous !)  Or is there some other reason for ovary removal ??

Awwwww - I’m not surprised you sound p**d off about it and the prospects of what’s involved. I would too in your shoes.

I’ve always considered myself soooo lucky to have not required chemo or rads so I’m really sorry that you have to. Wanna a spesh Delly hug ?? You’re getting one whether you want it or not and believe me, mine are reeeeeally special !! xxx

Love to you and everyone else. Wishing you all strength to deal with this BLEEEEEEP disease xxx 

Jobes - Aaaarh - I had wondered but didn’t quite want to say. Thanks for that and Thanks for asking after Chloe. Will tell you on JDAWTT. . . thread.

Elaine - Sorry for my ignorance. Have been educated further by you both. Am always up for that, not that it’s much use to you Elaine, except that I have a better understanding of your situation, so won’t come out with too much further ignorant rubbish !! x.

Delly xx

Oooooo, Gaynor, sorry i wasn’t here but “sorting” my postings on another thread when you posted. Now, pleeease listen to me. You’ve spoken about the “importance of lymph glands”, so does that mean you’re some kind of medical professional, or obviously have Human Biology knowledge. I’m from a medical background, I HAD to have both boobs and ALL lymph nodes removed - it was STANDARD to do a full axillary clearamce back in 2006/7. I NEVER had ANY swelling in my arm following ANY of the surgery. The ONLY problem I’ve ever had was after a bl**dy dog bit me, 4 yrs ago, broke the skin and I knew, from all the advice I’d been given, to ACT on it straight away. Yes you DO have to be more diligent about insect/foul dog bites!!, sunburn, anyone taking blood sample - just ensuring they know my lymph protection system/immunity is “comprised” in both arms. YOU are nowhere near the same stage darlin. Please try not to worry, take it from someone with the medical knowledge and MUCH further down the line than you, 9 yrs - trust me, no probs. But, you may not even get to my stage of surgery in this day and age. Things have advanced so much, and it’s  dependent on what the results of your lumpectomy biopsies are with what, IF ANY further treatment may be required for you. It’s sooooo hard isn’t it, not to think the worst. If your lumpectomy is sufficient to “clear” your lump/tumour  and nothin else is required - fantasti!!. If they find you’re gonna need further treatment - that’s also fantastic in a way, 'cos despite what further procedures may be necessary, that underlying “nasty” is being DEALT with. That has to give you some peace of mind

Yeh, it’s bloody upsetting and you have a good sob anytime you feel the need. It’s TRAUMATIC for ANYONE to have to go through. Please don’t EVER feel embarrassed about getting upset about it, it’s completely understandable.

I hope I’ve managed to give you a little bit of some “calm” about what you’re facing. You keep in touch, let us know how you’re doing, and ANYTIME you wanna sob, vent, need support, just com on here.It may be “virtual” BUT we CAN reach you through the ether - I promise !! Okay Gaynor chum.

 

Dellywellydingdong xx

Ps. If you’re ever “sleepless” have a go at “Night Birds” on Living with and Beyond BC/ Living with Breast Cancer. I often keep weird hours - you ay find me up, as now 3.30 in’t mornin. Mad x