I’ve been diagnosed with bone cancer 8 years after 2 bc treatments . Im struggling to cope with this. I feel all my dreams have been taken from me. I want to see my daughter grow up , she’s 8. I worry how my husband will cope when I’m gone. I wonder how long I have. I feel lost in the abyss. I would like to know how other people have been able to reconcile and handle this. I,m scared
Hi Raonaid,
I’m sorry to hear about your bone Mets diagnosis. I was in the same position 6 years ago and it is really hard at the beginning. Do you have someone who you can talk openly to about this? I think weekly sessions with a good counsellor were one thing that helped me through the first weeks. The BCC helpline can be good too. Otherwise I just tried to keep going with normal things as a distraction, but that depends to some extent on how you are feeling physically. Living with mets does eventually become your new normal and people do find that they feel able to enjoy life again. All the very best with your treatment.
Tournesol
Hi raonaid, so sory you have had to join us on this forum but rest assured the people on here are fantastic…you can rant, rave cry…anything and there will always be someone there for you. I have skin metsand usally use that thread under treatment and medical issues bt a lot of people use the bone mets thread, whatever their mets.
I have been posting on here now for almost two years but still feel lost lonely and scared…we all do. My daughter is grown up but still i worry about how she’ll cope without me…the feeling of guilt that i’ll be leaving her at an early age is sometimes overwhelming, especially when i think of all the important things in her life i will miss…as we all do: but somehow we carry on. As tournesol said, getting a counsellor may help and i rely heavily on my good friends. I tell them things i feel nableto tell my family…even when dealing with this awful disease your overriding instinct is to protect them. I don’t think you ever reconcile yourself to this you somehow just keep finding the strength to just keep going. All i can say is dont be too hard on yourself and give yourself time to adjust…i feel like i’m living oon another plane to everyone else. Accept any help you are offered and remember there is always someone on here to listen. Good lck.x
HI Raonaid
I was in your postion 4 months ago, found I had bone mets 6 years after treatment. I have been told that there are many treatments to try which has helped somewhat. However like the others I do still wonder how my family are going to cope. I support my 17 year old son who has been home educated since he was 12 and just hope that I can contine to help him while having treatment until he finishes his a levels.
I have found that this forum is great for support and infomormation. Also there is a thread for people with bone mets wihich has great support and information about treatments that you may wish to look at.
Hi raonaid,
I’m so sorry you’ve had this diagnosis… The first few weeks/mths after are hardest… You need to give yourself time to adjust to your ‘new’ life… And believe me it does happen, life takes over again, and you eventually carry on and live… I have two young boys, 11 and 9… have been diagnosed with skin and lymph node mets since summer… I’ve just come back from Disneyland, looking forward to Xmas and planning to take them to Florida next yr…
It will get easier for you, especially when you have a treatment plan and time has worked its magic… Take all the help you can… Big hugs…
Wolfie xx
thank you folks for replying and sending me hope that I will ajust to this new reality
much love to you all
Hi and sorry you have to join us in the secondaries part of the forum. We do all know how you are feeling right now as we have all been in the same place you are right now. As the other lovely ladies have said I think we have all felt more able to cope once a treatment plan is in place and it does take time to adjust so try and allow yourself to do that. I was diagnosed with bone mets 7 years ago and although I now have sorted to my lover, during that time I have pretty much continued to my life as I did before. Treatments do take it out of you, some more than others such as chemo but others, for me hormone tablets, do not have such an effect. My daughters were in their teens when I had my secondary diagnosis but now they have both graduated and started their careers and in fact my eldest is now getting married early next year which I had never expected to see. Plus luckily my husband and I have managed to go on some lovely holidays and try to enjoy the moment.
I hope this helps and do check out the ‘Bone mets, please join in’ thread on here - we often post on there as many secondary ladies have bone mets. You will see you are not alone!
Nicky x
Hiya, sorry you are here but glad you found this site. I was diagnosed with extensive bone Mets this time last year, 16 years after primary! I was in the depths of despair, didn’t know how to get through Christmas etc and this site was a Godsend. The ladies here told me to be kind to myself and that once my treatment plan was in place thinks would feel better and the “new normal” would begin. They were 100% correct! I couldn’t believe how treatment has come on since I was last in this position. There will be the usual rounds of scans etc but once your onc has all the facts and you have pain meds sorted if needed then life will return to your new normal. I am in a totally different place than 12 months ago, there are women with bone mets who are 11, 12, 13 years on and didn’t start off on the current meds that are available to you. So my lovely I will say the same as I was told 12 months ago… Be kind to yourself. Xxxx