Newly Diagnosed (Still stunned)

Hiya, a bit of a fledgling on forums but I can’t help but think it might make sense to talk to people who are experiencing exactly the same thing. If I’m honest, I’m still in denial! I’m 32 with a gorgeous little girl, a wonderful husband and I’m preparing for a mastectomy on Thursday! I can’t fault the treatment I’ve received, one month since I found the lump and I’ve been poked and prodded more than I thought possible. The doctors are all very positive about my prognosis as I’m ER+/HER2+ but I just keep thinking they’re mad. I sat in the same seat in the blood test area today as I did almost exactly 3 years ago waiting to have my bloods when I was 12 weeks pregnant. I’ve elected to have a bilateral mastectomy as family history is not in my favour and I can’t bear to seat in this place in a few years time.
We were on the verge of trying for a sibling and I feel like I’m grieving for a little person that never existed and a life that I’ve worked so hard to create. I hate my self pity and I know I should feel blessed for what I have but I’m seething that I’m dealing with this when I thought, naively, I could put off. My mother died from bc when I was seven; I’m not religious but I dared to think that was my kick in the teeth from bc. I can’t bear the idea of my beautiful daughter having the same experience.
I think I just need to know that there is a positive end to all of this. Thank you for reading this



I can’t start to understand what you are going through as I am still waiting for my referral appointment & I haveno children, but I want you to know you aren’t alone. Reading other people on this forum, it may still be possible for you to have a sibling (I did my grieving for little people when I chose to walk at age 18 caused ny scholosis) so can relate to that thought even if not for the same reason.


I hope you find the support you need on here, I certainly have

Hi Franqwerty, welcome to the BCC forums

In addition to the support here our helpliners are on hand with further practical and emotional support for you, lines are open during the week 9-5 and Saturday 10-2

Here’s a link to more support ideas and information specific to younger women diagnosed with breast cancer which you may find helpful:

Take care
Lucy BCC

Hi Franqwerty.
Bless you finding this out.i have my mamogram tomorrow so am feeling anxious right now.I am 39 and have a beautiful 4year old son and fantastic hubs who is so supportive.You sound like a very brave lady to me not somebody wallowing in self pity.your allowed to be angry so dont beat yourself up about that.i hope I can find the strengh to beat it if it is bc for my family too.good luck.x

Thanks guys.
Wheezy, why are you still waiting for a referral? My understanding was it was a two week turnaround. I was told they would see within 2weeks but called the clinic and got a cancellation within days.
Niknoks, I hope all goes well today. Do you have a family background that makes you more nervous. I think what’s really shocked me how many women our age are going through this. I kept telling the bc nurse ‘but I’m 32’ as though this would dissolve their suspicions. In a way I found the mammogram and results stage scarier. Fingers crossed for you.

Hi Wheezy, that’s good. The one stop clinics are outstanding. Will keep my fingers crossed for you x

Hi Wheezy. Yep you’re spot on; the one stop clinics can do all the tests etc but you have to wait a week for the biopsy results. I asked during my biopsy what they thought and they were VERY open in saying they were pretty certain it was bc. You could have punched me in the stomach. If you do ask, be ready for frankness. X

Franqwerty, I can only imagine what you are going through right now.
I’m waiting for my appointment date and all I keep thinking about is ‘what about my 3 children, how will they cope, how will my husband deal with it’ etc.
Try and stay positive. . There’s some amazing stories on here with great results ((hugs)) x

Hiya Franqwerty,  I know exactly how you are feeling!  Its crazy isnt it!  Although theres all sorts going through my head - what if this? what if that? i am also keeping strong and positive.  There is so much they can do these days and its all about cure - thats what you have to keep reminding yourself. 

I was diagnosed 23rd jan 14 with grade 3 invasive ductal breast cancer - also ER+ and Her2+.  I am 28 with an 18month old little girl and a brill hubby too!  Having second surgery tomorrow for re - exicision of margins and more lymph nodes taken (masectomy a positbility after this).  Im with you on the being in hosp for nice things like having your baby:)  Thats all i will be thinking tomorrow night - last time i stayed here it was with my precious newborn baby girl:)  But you are just on the begining of a tough,bumpy journey and will get there in the end.  Just dont think too far ahead - just deal with each day and each appointment as it comes. 

We where also starting to think about a new brother or sister for our little girl so have found that almost more upsetting than being diagnosed - weirdly!  But have got my head around it for now and just hope in a few years time it will happen one way or another:) 

I hope your op went well on Thursday xxx

Hi EAM28, wow a lot of similarities between us! So sorry to hear we share them though. The surgery went well, the surgery revealed no sentinel node activity so finally I’m negative for something. Although I know chemo is on the horizon, I feel relieved to know that the cancer is out of my system. I’m also really pleased with the reconstruction; they’re pretty bruised at the mo but look very normal. Thankfully, I seem to be a quick healer so I was released yesterday and have pretty much full movement. Do you have family history? Just a random lump. It’s so reassuring to hear how positive you are because I’m feeling like that but was worried it was the pain killers :wink: Do you need to have chemo too? It’s like being on some bizarre roller coaster I think fx

Hi Eam28,
Just a quick checkin to see how you’re doing. I can’t believe it’s been so long since my last post. I had my first Fec-T cycle today which wasn’t too bad. I’m also going to be on herceptin and tamoxifen so it seems we’re on the same path ie to recovery! My consultant spoke about the term cure the other day and I nearly kissed him. I used the cold cap and to be honest it was fine after the first 2 min; I had the most enthusiastic chemo nurse which really helped. Anyway, I hope everything is moving along for you. Fx

Hi franqwerty! I’m sorry I haven’t been on this bit for a while! Yes we are having the same treatment! Are you having rads too? How did you’re first chemo go? I started mine a week ago & felt pretty grotty for 6 days. Now feel normal but have really sore mouth! Hope all going well for you xxx

Hi Eam28,
No apology needed, time doesn’t seem normal ATM. Yeah I felt very similar and had a massive ulcer and sore mouth. Felt almost hungover with a mixture of morning sickness which was a combination I never expected :wink: I’m on day 16 now and have felt really good since about day 9, almost normal. My hair is still in place so fingers crossed. I was initially told that the multi party had said I didn’t need rads but then my onc registrar said it was a strong possibility so I’m a bit unsure and irritated. Sometimes I’m not convinced they read the whole file. Btw corsodyl and bonjela saved me. Also did you struggle with sleep? I think it was the steroids that turned me into an insomniac fx

That’s the only way I could week to people too! - a constant hangover!! You feel like a zombie don’t you?! I’m on day 9 now and my hair still going strong too!:slight_smile: although was suppose to be having wigs fitted today but they haven’t arrived yet so hope they come soon! Thank you for the sore mouth advice - I went to a pharmacy yesterday & they gave me benzydamine mouth wash, my husband said he thought corsadyl would do the job & I borrowed a bit of my daughters bonjela last night until I get the adult one! No I didn’t struggle with sleep - in fact I could have slept more! Tried to have naps when my little girl does in the day! Are you still struggling with it now? Not nice:( Auw how frustrating about you’re rads - I wouldn’t think you would have to as you had a mastectomy? Im having it for 3 weeks after my chemo finished so I’m guessing august time. Do you mind me asking if you did anything to preserve you’re fertility? We looked Into egg freezing & now on zoladex injections. Hope you’re having a nice wkend xxx

(Could describe the first week of chemo to people) - don’t know what happened there! X

Hiya, thankfully the sleeplessness only lasted from day 2-4 which I’m convinced was the drugs leaving my system. Zoladex? I haven’t had it or heard of it but I’m intrigued. We decided to let fate decide with fertility tbh I can’t see past this battle and I think my husband would need some convincing to go through a pregnancy that would mean a break in tamoxifen although my onc seemed ok about it. Definitely going with a wait and see, As I had a masectomy I thought no rads especially as I was lymph node neg. where you in the same boat on that one? Ps never worry about asking, I’m an open book fx

Auw glad you didn’t loose sleep for too long,must have been frustrating though! No I didn’t have a mastectomy - they managed to get enough clearance on the 2nd surgery & 1 out of 8 lymph nodes positive. So its a mystery why they’re considering rads with you then?! The zoladex is a monthly injection into you’re tummy. It is an ovarian suppression so suppose to protect ovaries. I did a bit of research into it & spoke to a girl that had it. We had to push for it - both BC nurses & onc said its not worth it but our fertility specialist said there wouldn’t be any harm in trying it. The onc said we could have a baby break in 3-5 years time. But like you - just want to get through all of this first & be with the precious girl we already have:) xxx

I can really relate to your last comment. Obviously I adore our daughter but I can’t help but take even more joy in every single moment with her. I’ve decided to not return to full time work once the treatment is all over; enjoy the good times I think. Just been chatting on another site and many are very positive about the injections. I find it so frustrating when ‘standard’ plans are presented without alternatives. One thing that troubles me is the amount of women who have been dx so soon after pregnancy. In my family all three women who had BC had had a baby between 1-3 years before dx. There are so many questions I want to ask my onc at my next appt. Btw are you using the cold cap? Fx

Yep same as you - I cherish every little moment with my little girl even more! Have had so many offers from people to look after her at the moment but I actually want to go through all of this with her right by my side. I don’t blame you for deciding not to go back to work full time - puts everything into perspective all of this doesn’t it! Yes it is frustrating!! I know their main priority is us & dealing with the cancer but when you’re young they should take family into consideration. We made it very clear from the start that we where worried about fertility & we just kept getting brushed off! It should be common practice to weigh up & set out whats available! No I decided against the cold cap as extra time added on to the day of chemo & just wanted to get in & out of Hosp as quickly as poss! Spent too much time up there in the last few months & I live an hour away from it. Also they told me from DX that I would defo loose my hair so had got used to the idea by the time they offered it to me! When’s youre 2nd dose? Xx

Hi Franqwerty,just pop in to say when i was on chemo last year my cousion gave me some good advice on many things and one was if your on steriods take them before 2 oclock in the afternoon if you take them later they will keep you awake how right she was one day i forgot and took them at tea time i was bouncing of the walls at bed time :slight_smile: I never made that mistake again hope this helps. Yvonne