newly diagnosed

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1

hallo,

found lump on 23/12/08, went to gp and she told me nothing to worry about, that it would probably be gone by the time my referral came through. went to 1st appointment on 26/01 and was then told by
my consultant that i needed mammogram, ultrasound and biopsy. I am an extremely emotional person and spent the whole time waiting in floods of tears. went back into see my consultant after tests had been carried out, only for him to tell me I had a “suspicious looking lump”. Shocked was not the word, having been told by my
GP I had nothing to worry about.

Was supposed to go back to hospital on Monday, but due to weather
conditions, nurse phoned to say clinic was cancelled and could I go back on Thursday. Again I begged her to tell me over the phone, good or bad news, to which she told me the result was positive and I am now faced with the fact that I have an invasive type of cancer. I am going back to hospital tomorrow to find out all the gory details and find out about surgery.

I have 3 children aged 19, 17 and 13 and we sat down with them all
and explain what is going on. I feel absolutely devastated by it all. We are supposed to be going to a family wedding on 15/03, which
has been booked for over a year. I am struggling to pull myself together at work and do not know whether to tell work colleagues of the situation or not.

Found this site and seems really helpful to talk to people going
through the same motions. Would greatly appreciate any advice or
reassurance at the moment. Thank you

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Hi Marble,
Sorry you’ve had to join us, but this a great place to get support and information.

I know that I spent the first few weeks in a haze as everything seemed to move so fast. Hopefully you will get a bit more information today and do tell them about the wedding because they will probably say that a week will make no difference and you may be able to work around it.

I was dx on 5th November, saw the surgeon the next week, had pre-op the week after and surgery the week after that. I had the tumour removed and sentienel node biopsy and was out of hospital within 24 hours. Although I spent the next 2 days doing not much, I was out and about after that although not driving myself.

I told close work colleagues because it made things simpler and I was confident that I would have their full support without them smothering me. But it is a very personal decision and you may want to think about their likely reactions and how that would make you feel.

Hope this helps.

Eliza xx

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I read your message and I am sending my best wishes that all will go well for you .I am 42 and last sept 08 I had bc results on a thursday and op on following mon full letf masectomy back to work within days and only one pain killer I took after op no pain at all . I am having cemo and feel well a bit tired on days It is nice to talk to others as it can be a lonley time when worried but Im sure everything will go ok for you good luck let me know how you get on

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Hi Marble, sorry to find you joining us in our exclusive club. I got my diagnosis last Thursday yet it feels like a life time ago. There is no right or wrong way to get through this,it’s whatever works for you, I do think that you have come to the right place here as we are all in the same boat in varying degrees. Half the battle is getting your head round it with the speed of it all, without doubt it’s a huge shock to the system but I have found a great comfort here and no question too big or small , good days bad days we will get through it together.Big hug for you.

Sandra x

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hi marble - again as the others have said I’m sorry you’ve had to join us but good to see you! i was diagnosed jan 7th and had surgery 3 wks later 28th jan so just over a week ago…once the balls rolling properly with surgery etc you just get going with it and hold on tight, let peolpe help you and look after yourself,mary x

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ps I’m 43 and have 2 kids 10 and nearly 16…we have a hol to america booked for late august and will prob end up cancelling as I need the chemo too now, its a b*gger alright…

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thank you all so much for taking the time to reply to my post. went
to hospital on thursday, and now know it is invasive ductal cancer. because the lump didn’t show up well on the mammogram or ultra sound, am having an mri scan done on tuesday. if this comes back clear, surgery being done on 18/02 or if not the week after. it is a waiting game and cannot come quick enough.

i took the decision to discuss it through with work, and decided to go public with my diagnosis, rather than have people speculating what is wrong, as I have been very emotional since find the lump. I just want people to treat you the same as normal, because talking about it and answering their questions is also very draining keep going over it all the time.

It is constantly on the back of my mind though and I am finding it very hard to put on a brave face and not appear to be miserable all the time in front of my husband and children. I also find it incredibly frustrating because after the initial shock and tears on hearing the news, it seems they are getting on with their life.

this site feels like a life line where you have all been so kind in sharing your throughs with me, even though you have all been through all of the above during your own experiences with this horrible nightmare.

If there is anybody who had the mri scan done prior to surgery can tell me how long you wait for the test results from this, I would appreciate knowing. thank you

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Hi Marble

BCC have published a booklet for those newly diagnosed which may help you to understand more, you can order it via the following link:

breastcancercare.org.uk/server/show/conPublication.82

Please also call our freephone helpline on 0808 800 6000 which is open Monday to Friday 9am-5pm and Saturday 9am-2pm where you can speak to one of our team who are either specialist breast care nurses or have had an experience of breast cancer themselves and are here to support you and help you through this difficult time.

Best wishes
Lucy

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Hi Marble, like the others, I’m sorry you had to join us. I was dx on 12 Dec with invasive lobular cancer. I too had to have an MRI, but it took quite a while because of Christmas, new year etc. I had the MRI on 31 Dec and the result on 9 Jan. My result showed another suspicious area and so I had to have another biopsy and wait a fortnight for the result of that. However, that did show that the second area was benign. I’m having a lumpectomy this Thursday, exactly 2 months after the dx. However, I am grateful to the surgeon and everyone else for taking so much care that they got a full diagnosis before jumping in with the treatment. I know that the wait was worth it.

I don’t know if the length of the wait for results is the same for everyone, but the waiting is definitely the worst time. Now I know it’s just a lumpectomy and when it is being done, I’m fine, but like you I was very emotional at first. I also think that it’s difficult dealing with other people’s reaction to your cancer. Their fear feeds yours, but very often our fears are worse than they should be. Because in reality, treatment is very good these days. Hold onto that thought. You’ll have bad days and some better days, but you will get through this.

Take care
Sal

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Hi Marble
I was diax on the 15th Dec & am having a lumpectomy & sentinel lode done on 11th Feb, as I live in Spain I don’t know how it works here there doesn’t seem to be any urgency, but that’s the Spanish manana, manana!!!

I decided to tell all my close friends & my employees (I have a restaurant) as I know most of them would be upset if they found out later… Obviously other people who I am not that close to have found out and it is funny to see some of their reactions.The word Cancer has an awful finality to it and those who have not been in personal contact with it, just don’t know how to react, so I just say don’t worry only the good die young and I’ve been very bad!!!

I can sympathise with you re everyone getting on with their lives & you are left with that awful not knowing feeling, people say things like oh my daughters neighbour had that 10 years ago & she’s fine, just like you have a cold. We all know that treatments have come on in leaps & bounds but in the back of our minds you think is it going to be me, aka Jane Goody!! and we are forever putting on a “brave face”, so it’s good to talk to others in the same boat, this site has been so good for support TLC & info.

I don’t know about you but I have an awful guilty feeling most of the time, as though this is all my fault, something I have done or not done as caused this. In my saner moments (not too may at the moment111) I know it isn’t what I’ve done I have always eaten quite well don’t smoke, like a drink but not to excess, don’t exercise much (maybe that’s it!!!)

I am planning to write a book on all of this. I want anyone who is interested in contributing to keep notes on all the ups & downs no matter how trivial and my editor will help put it together in book form. Maybe we can get it published & the proceeds can go to Cancer research, we can call it “READ FOR LIFE” as opposed to run for life (I told you I don’t like excercise)!!!

Let me know how you get on, even though I am pleased my op is immenient (god!!! pleased they are going to cut open my boob!!!)I am really scared I hate pain but luckily I heal quickly.

I will post you, can I add you to my contacts.

Magel x

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Hi Magel,

Thank you for your lovely post. Its amazing to speak to complete strangers who are feeling and experiencing the same emotions as me. Cant believe how wonderful this site is and just logging onto it makes you feel a lot better.

I have my MRI scan tomorrow and having the exact same op as you on either 18/02 or 24/02, depending on whether anything shows up on the MRI.

Work has been horrendous. My manager posted some info to all employees telling them of the situation, but also telling them to respect my privacy and also that of my 17 year old daughter who also works there. This has led to nobody knowing what to say to me, so most of them have not said anything, which is ten times worse. I know its hard, because they are all scared of having me burst into tears on them.

Half of me wants the op date to hurry up, but you then have the dreaded 2 week wait for the results and follow-up appt to await
your treatment fate! I keep saying “bad things only happen to good people” and also have sat racking my brains with “why me”, is it because I eat too much chocolate, or use deodrant, etc, etc, etc. You end up driving yourself mad.

You sound like a lovely happy go lucky lady and I will be keeping my ingers crossed everything goes well with surgery. I would love you to add me to you contacts, so we can compare surgery and result notes as I will not be far behind you in all of this.

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Hi Marble Just been reading your posts and I know just how your feeling,I have been having mammograms for afew years now after suspect areas on my right breast. After every mammogram I was asked to go back to the breast cancer clinic for more tests, I lived in Oxfordshire for a while and it was the same there. Then every time I went back they did more more mammograms which where more intence, and one time I did have an ultra sound scan, But every time I was told it was calsium spots. So this time after my mammogram I was asked to go back and I said "oh it will be ok just like all the others " but this time it wasn’t. I went back to the clinic and the nurse did another mammogram and I wasn’t bothered because I had gone through the procedure to many times, I was even comforting thhe ladies in the waiting room saying " oh it will probably be ok I always have to come back " but this time it wasn’t ok. The nurse showed me the mammogram and I saw this large grey area that was different then I had ever seen before. I had to go back into the waiting room to see another doctor, some of the people I had seen earlier where going home smiling saying "thank you it was nothing " but I sat there just waiting with thoughts screaming through my head knowing this time was different. They eventually called me in to see this lovely doctor who explained they needed to look at the mass more clearly, so she did ultra sound, but she said that is not enough I need to do a biopsy and I knew then something wasn’t right. So she did a biopsy and made me an appointment for the following week. All week we waited everybody telling me I will be ok, at the weekend my daughter was graduating, getting a BA honours Degree and I wasn’t going to spoil that. We had hubbys eldest daughter partner and 2 children coming to stay and also his parents and I wasn’t changing that. So then we asked the question what are we going to do to congratulate my Daughter for what she had achieved, and it was an achievement, she had studyed for the degree while working and looking after her family, so what we did was we had a bar b que and kareoke on the saturday night in the snow and the rain lol It was a good night and just for a while we forgot what was happening to me. Anyway then I went in the Tuesday the 27th of January and I was asked into the Doctorts Office And Told the mass was cancer, and I needed a full a mastectomy, after that I dont really know what he said, I have no idea what kind of cancer it is, I only thought there was one kind. Well he spoke to me about the other illnesses I have going on, this was just another one to add to my growing list of illnesses and I wont bore you with the details lol but the top and bottom of it is I was waiting for a MRI scan on my brain and untill that was done he couldn’t oprate. So we came home in a trance, my daughter rang the hospital and got my brain scan bought forward and I went for that last thursdayso now I am playing the waiting game. I have not been to bad after the initial shock, and I have spoke to people about it with out turning into a blubbering fool, that was untill yesterday and I just cried at everybody and every thing, I think its because I am waiting to get on with things, I need to have this thing taken away and get on with recovering. I am all ready to go, my bag is packed, I have mastectomy bra’s on order, I went and bought a few tops that where button through because I had read a post where a lady had said you needed them after the operation because you cant lift your arm up, I have mistake proof mascara on oeder from avon because I am going to need my eye make up, and probably putting it on with my left hand it will end up everywhere. I am so organised its scarey because I dont do organised normally lol but I am dreading 9 0 clock coming because I am going to be sitting waiting for the phone to ring, I was even taking the phone to the loo with me yesterday lol I know what your saying when your asking yourself did I cause it, this is how stupid I am I asked the breast care nurse is there any excersices I can to to stop it !!! everybody just looked at me, because I am disabled and can only walk with a stick lol hubby did say to me after the intial shock had worn off "what exersises was you thinking of doing!!! was you going to put tassles on your nipples and do a bit of tassle dancing " lol but I just could not think of anything to say, and you can see by how much I have typed I am not useually losts for words lol
Well Marble I hope everything goes ok for you, and I am with you while you wait, you never know we could be going at the same time.
Take care
Love Heather
xxxxxx

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Marble, don’t waste your time asking why me? There’s no answer to that. It just happens. I read the booklet on risk and of the 11 known risk factors, I only had one - the fact that I hadn’t gone through the menopause by the time I was 50.

Waiting is terrible, but it’s something we have to get used to I’m afraid. My op is on Thursday, which will be exactly 2 months after my diagnosis, but looking back, it doesn’t seem so bad. Although these last couple of days are dragging I have to say.

Keep your chin up. We’re right here behind you.

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latest news - bit of good news today - got results of mri scan back - no retests needed - op going ahead next week 18/02 - so full speed
ahead - i now feel the ball is rolling and god willing, may get to
Margarita after all for my best friends wedding.

went public at work and have had mixed reactions, people do not know what to say, so say nothing, or the people who do want to talk are constantly ringing, texting and driving you mad asking for the latest news. I know everyone means well, but feel like I am constantly repeating myself over and over, in between sobs lol!

can anybody tell me with my procedure, lumpectomy and biopsy of
sent node, do you come home with dressings? have to have a district nurse out or anything like that. forgot to ask. also do you have a follow-up appointment before the 2 week results appointmemt to assess the
wound?

thank you to all fellow sufferers who have helped me get through up til now and have been brilliant with their kind words of advice and sharing their own experiences with me. hard to believe that 2 weeks ago my life was normal and now all this.

Anyone who has been recently diagnosed at Barnet Hospital, from day one, all staff involved have been brilliant and kept open 2 op dates for me, depending on MRI scan results to ensure that the op is done
as quickly as possible, due to me highly distressed state lol.

I felt quite selfish looking rnd the waiting room, having seen ladies a lot younger than me, some of which had babies in prams, or who had prop not even started a family yet. My heart goes out to all of them.

Well babbling on, not long now to wait for op, then the next bit of
anxiety, waiting for the dreaded results.

God bless everyone faced with the same xxx and roll on Wednesday

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Glad you got the ball rolling and have got a date, I envy you that you are 5 days ahead of me,for same procedure,we can compare notes. The waiting is most def the worst !!! Busy,busy. Once I had initially told everyone over and over,I have been left alone,thank goodness,mainly because I insisted that I was fine and didnt feel ill and didnt want people fussing around, nothing much to tell until get results after op.One step at a time,good luck and be nice to yourself,I’ve been having pedicures and going for indian head massage next week ,also just tried to busy myself with getting food in and cooked off in the freezer,hubs cooking would not improve my recovery and my children would rather go hungry than eat his idea of a meal !
Big hugs

Sandra x

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I have posted this for new user Sharon
Jo, Facilitator

hi, i have recently been diagnosed with breast cancer & due to start chemo next week! until today i have been coping quite well but today i woke up and started getting ready for work then started feeling sick & faint. is this quite common. can anyone tell me if its the cancer or just anxiety & worry. thank you x

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Hi again, I have posted for another new user ‘pollysue’
Jo, Facilitator

pollysue says on 12 Feb 2009 17:40

After my first age related mamamogram in March 2008 I was diagnosed with high grade DCIS and following a maestectomy of the left breast and immediate re-construction in April 2008, further pathology showed the cancer to be invasive with spread to all of the lymph nodes removed after 2 ops…13 lymph nodes in total although further scans showed no spread to any other major organs…initial focus of cancer was 2.5 mm… Then followed chemo…, 3 FEC and 3 Taxotare and 3 weeks of daily X 5 radiotheraphy…am now on herceptin cos I’m Her 2 positive… and am due No 7 on 18th Feb at the Royal Leicester Infirmary… I moved to England from Northern Ireland in 2006 because I had met a new partner… am currently on treatment for depression as a result of the cancer… I have browsed these forums for at the last 10 months and this is thge first time I have the courage to join in… my problem is…cant for some reason all this time after I’m suddenly feeling so unpositive and down…anyone elese feel the same?

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Hi Sandra,

You sound exactly the same as me, lol. today I have got my
nails done and spent afternoon down at the local health suite,
having sauna, turkish steam room and jacuzzi. lovely.

need to get my arse into gear and as a mum and wife, have been worrying about shopping, cooking and keeping up with the washing next week. I have two teenagers, who are big and ugly enough to
do things, but are used to having it done for them. they will prob get take-aways.

how long have they told you you will be in for? I got in tues night, should be out fri, if not monday. seems some only stay in for 24 hours.

we can go through the op and waiting time together, which will be
nice to compare notes.

take care x

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Hi Polly Sue you seem to have been through the mill a bit, I am really sorry your having such a bad time. I am going through a really depressing week at the minute waiting for the results of an MRI from a different hospital, thats nothing to do with my breast cancer, to to where I am having my breast cancer treated and trying to get one hospital consultant to send the other hosptal my results is madness. I have been really depressed these last few days, so I really know how your feeling, has you can see by the time I am not sleeping. I am not far from you Polly Sue I am having My breast cancer treatment at Derby City hospital. Well Polly Sue I really Hope Things I sorted out for you soon.
Love Heather
xxxxx

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Hi Heatheruk
Thank you for your kind message. I must remember in future to wear my reading glasses when posting on the forum…a few spelling mistakes in original post…lol. You have had a hard time as well. My mother died from ovarian cancer in 1990 and I have also been tested for the BRCA1 and 2 genes to see if I am a carrier. There is a supposed link between ovarian and breast cancer. I do be regularly checked by the oncologist at the RLI for lumps etc but don’t have much faith because I didn’t have any lump to start off with. The reconstruction wouldn’t have been done originally if Mr Dzhumar at Glenfield Hospital had thought the cancer was invasive. It remains unfinished until after the Herceptin ends. At the moment my back where he used the muscle to reconstruct is lumpy and uncomfortable at times. One good thing is I am ‘with hair’ again…although still very short. My nails are finally back to near normal. I hope you hear good news about your MRI scan.
Regards
Pollysue.