Hi, I have just been diagnosed with a grade 3,(3 cm) breast cancer 10 days ago, waiting for date of surgery and a bone scan. I am not sure how to feel at the moment as its all so new and unexpeted the days are fine, its the nights I am struggling with. I have been told my lymphnodes look suspicious even though the biopsy was clear, my mind is all over the place. Is this normal? Im trying to remain positive to family and friends as they are to me, I feel drained and not sure what I can do to help me sleep! I start to have all kinds of imaginations especially about the future of my daughters.
Hiya,
You’ve come to the right place, believe me the support you can get from this site is amazing.
I think you need to take one step at a time. Of course it’s normal to be all over the place, I was so confused after my diagnosis, you never think it would happen to you.
I tried to focus on each step at a time as it was just too much to take it all in. You also need to focus on you and go with how you really feel and don’t always try to put on a brave face. You will have your good days and you will have your bad days and you need to accept both.
My BC was grade 1, and I’ve got through 2 surgeries, 4 months of chemo and I’m now due to start radiotherapy with my chemo and I am still going out, shopping etc. You will get through all this too, it will just take time.
With regards to your daughters you can look into your family history and gene tests at a later date. Your BC nurse can help you with this.
Any support I can give I will, just drop me a line.
Take care of you.
Jo xoxo
Hi Blue sky and welcome to the BCC forums.
I have posted a link below to our new resource pack which you may find helpful, it has been designed for those newly diagnosed, just click on the link to access the order form. You can also order more information publications on the same page by clicking on the links on the same page under the ‘quick order list’.
I have also posted a link to our booklet, ‘Talking with your children about breast cancer’ which you can order or read and depending on the age of your children can also order the ‘Mummys lump’ book if your children are quite young:
If you would like to speak to someone in confidence please do call our helpline on 0808 800 6000, the line is open weekdays 9-5 and Sat 9-2, our team of specialist nurses and trained helpliners can offer you further support and information. Hope this helps.
Best wishes
Lucy
Hi Blue sky
What you are feeling is completely normal and understandable. I’m 42 and I was diagnosed with grade 3 (3cm) with one lymph node involved and had lumpectomy and lymph node clearance in Oct last year. Now just finished chemo and start rads in a couple of weeks. I think its not knowing whats going to happen that’s the worst, as well as waiting for test results. Once you have a treatment plan it does get easier, I promise. We all understand as have been there and this is a great place to ask questions or just let off steam. You may find some of the terminology hard to understand at first, but we can help with that and you’ll be amazed how quickly you learn and how time flies!
It’s a difficult journey, I can’t deny it, but it’s doable.
Take care
Julia xx
Hi Bluesky and welcome.
The emotions we go through are a real rollercoaster. I’ve finished my ‘active’ treatment now, but ask if you need and info or advice - you can guarantee that somone on here will have the information.
Try and stay positive, but know that you have support in this forum.
Al
x
Hello Bluesky,
I don’t come on here very often but now and again. Just wanted to say hello. I was diagnosed in December so am only a few months ahead of you on this journey we don’t want to be doing! I found the first 10 days my mind was reeling about all over the place. Gradually I decided somehow that I would assume things would work out well. A friend who was 3 years ahead of me said it helped a lot if you learned not to panic - and that’s really true.
I had a WLE and sample of lymph nodes done in January (delayed 2 weeks by the snow!) An infection then delayed next steps by a few weeks but I have now had my first chemo and am having further op (axilla clearance) in April.
My personal coping strategies have included; reading lots of info from this site and Macmillan, distraction by doing things I like doing, gentle exercise, drawing on all the support which has been offered by friends and family and colleagues (and people have been fantastic). However I did also cry quite a lot - esp in the first few weeks, and in my opinion its vital - we’re going through huge emotions and I needed to let them out.
Its only since I’ve got started on the chemo that I feel I’m on track and more myself without a considerable effort. The various delays meant I had a lot of weeks of waiting around for results or waiting for a wound to heal and they were frustrating. Walking whenever I can helps me to cope. Not very far but about an hour a day. I usually swim but can’t due to risk of infection at the moment.
You’ll be OK - cry when you need to but let your family and friends know so that they can help. (I found it took me time to let people know but once I had done so, it was better).
Hi Bluesky,
I was diagnosed last month and since had surgery and waiting for my chemo to start. It is a confusing and worrying time, especially when you have a young family to look after. We were very honest with our kids (8&10) and told friends and family which I found very difficult, but glad I did because everyone rallied round and support is amazing and often comes from unsuspecting sources. I am still getting my head around it all, and no one day is like the next. I am taking one day at the time, and waiting for results and treatments is tough, it’s good to be here and talk to friends who have been or are going through the same as you. Don’t be scared you will be surprised by how you just get on. We are all here to support each other.
Tinaxxx
Hi Blue Sky,
I was diagnosed myself on 11th Feb and the toughest bit I found to cope with was the 7 days between my diagnosis and op. I had lumpectomy and lymph node removal on 18th Feb, thankfully we caught it early 0.8mm and grade 1, but a total shock at 34. I have radiotherapy (10% chance of chemo, find out on Tues) How is your support network? I filled in my time between diagnosis and op meeting friends and letting them know which helped enormously.
I have just registered on this site today also, which I am so glad you have done too. Night time was tough, but having the support of a fabulous partner helped enormously.
I think once you have your op dates you will begin to move on, it’s the not knowing that I found the hardest and the waiting for results, for tests, for biopsies…we just need to take it one step at a time and be there for each other.
I was so suprised at myself for the strength I found almost right away. Making lists, planning to meet friends, keeping busy, just having one person to meet for a coffee, lunch or person to visit for the days I wasn’t up to it after the op made things so much easier. Our treatment of 2 years of zoladex injections is also meaning we can’t do a 2nd round of IVF for another 2 years. Things take unexpected twists and turns, but trying to be as positive as we all can be will get us through it. I know I will come out of this a better person and appreciate my life so much more. We all will.
Stay positive, build as much support as you can and one step at a time.
Lots of love and best wishes,
Karen
Wow, how wonderful to hear from all of you so soon I feel so more relaxed and uplifted from all your positive advice. I don’t feel lonely anymore and feel at ease that we are on this journey together.
I went for a 5 mile walk with a dear friend this morning we laughed and cried and laughed again at all the amazing fun things we have done and will do.
Blue sky XXXXXXXX
Hi Blue Sky
Glad to hear that today at least you are feeling a little more positive. I am sorry that you find yourself here with us, but at least know that you are amongst friends, and people who really understand some of what you are going through, even though it’s different for all of us.
I was diagnosed on 17 Feb and had WLE and SNB the week after, still recovering from OP and I am now taking TAM and am waiting for RADS in a few weeks.
I agree with Karen and Sandripples, try and find things to keep you busy, I have found friends a great help, popping in for a coffee, or to do a bit of hoovering!
You will have ups and downs, and that is perfectly natural, laughing and crying will both help… I have found it easier now I know what my treatment plan is, I feel as if I’ve got something to focus on.
Keep your chin up and keep us posted…
HC xxxx
Hi Blue Sky
It’s good that you are here as having a space and outlet you know we are going through similar things and can offload honestly is incredibly helpful in this unexpected and difficult time.
I was diagnosed in October (yep Breast Cancer Awareness month - cheers!!) and now have had my surgery, port inserted and yesterday had my 7th chemo out of 8 so it really is moving forward and as others have said, it is doable. We are all different and have different side effects but we also have access to great support and meds for the different side effects.
I know what you mean about the nights - I remember lying awake night after night, thinking all sorts and worrying my socks off. I got a couple of good tips - try listening to the radio, ipod or anything that breaks your train of thought. I also took to writing things down and documenting what I was going through - this has helped me process things and funnily it feels better and more manageable when I have done this. I also find that I try and divert my mind to prepare what I will write on my blog and have even half written more creative stuff (kind of - it’s either forgotten or crap in the light of morning!!) in the night.
Your 5 mile walk sounds great - mentally as much as physically and with great company! I swim daily and that has just kept me going fantastically, even on days I feel rough, a swim brightens me up enormously. (It helps that I am living in Asia and treated in Bangkok so swimming is lovely in an outside pool). The blue sky also makes a hug difference - so i love your forum name 
Having internet and access to support and information has also changed our experience so much, mostly for the good too!
Take care and good luck - keep in touch
warm hugs from the blue skies of Bangkok
Philippa
just to say hi to u all sitting reading these posts waiting for when i start chemo.4wks thursday had my op how long before i hear about chemo. love to u allxxxxxx
Hi everyone,
Thanks for all your support, I have been putting into practice all the positive advice and I feel more in control and getting back to my old self.
Just to let you know I am booked in to have my operation this Saturday. Been sorting out the house and work, its amazing how of all the times its now that I want to declutter and have a really good sort out. I have cleared out my wardrobe and shoes, even the kitchen had an overall. My friends have offered me there homes to do the same!
Please someone tell me this is normal behaviour LOL
I shall get in touch when out of hospital and looking forward to texting you then.
Love to all
Elaine
XXXX
Hi Elaine, good luck with the op tomorrow, if you look back at the posts, the week before my op in mid feb, I sat on the bedroom floor with the entire contents of wardrobe, chest of drawers etc there with me! I felt every so slightly out of control, all that to find some decent nightwear to take with me! I can already smile about it now, 4 weeks later!
Keeping my fingers crossed for you for a speedy recovery!! hugsxxx Tina
Hi Elaine
I hope your operation went well today. I’m totally with you on the wardrobe clear out, although for some ridiculous reason I waited until a week AFTER my op to sort mine out. It was very therapeutic - although I still can’t drive, so can’t get to the recycling centre to get rid of all the old clothes!
Best of luck with the rest of your journey x
oh yes its normal behaviour lol. i had my op in december and im still doing it!!!
sue
Hi Bluesky,
I also had a mad de-clutter before my surgery beginning of Feb. I was diagnosed in December 09 at age 29, had surgery on 3rd Feb double mastectomy and two grade 2 lumps, 11mm and 20mm found with a micro amount in one sentinel node. Had my 1st chemo just over a week ago and just coming out of the ‘chemo fog’ as I like to describe it. 5 more to go, then radiotherapy and tamoxifen.
I hope your op went well today, make sure you rest and take it easy, make the most of any help offered to you!
Paula x
30years old hello all i was diagnosed breast cancer only a few days ago i have invasive ductal carcinoma type im grade 3 stage 2 and im having a bone scan this wedsday coming and soon to be having chemotherapy to shrink down the lump so that it can be cut out im feeling so along in all of this and very low
Hi billiegirl
Whilst you wait for the other users to reply to you post you may find it useful to have a copy of the BCC booklet ‘Younger women with breast cancer’ as it looks specifically at the different issues and feelings younger women with breast cancer may experience. If you would like a copy just follow this link:-
breastcancercare.org.uk/heal … tionId/80/
May I suggest you also post in the younger women’s section of these forums as you will probably receive replies from ladies of s similar age to yourself there.
If you feel you need some extra support BCC also have a helpline where you can talk things through with a trained member of staff. The lines are open Monday to Friday 9am to 5pm and Saturday 9 to 2pm.
and the number is 0808 800 6000 and the
I hope this is helps.
Kind regards
Sam (BCC Facilitator)
Billiegirl
I’m so, so sorry you had to join us, but on this site you are anything but alone. I, like you, had grade 3, stage 2 diagnosed in Oct last year (I’m 42) I’ve had surgery and just finished chemo. Start radiotherapy in 2 weeks time. We all understand the trauma of what you are going through. It sounds like you already have some sort of treatment plan. I see that you hsve more tests to go through; waiting for results was tha part I found most difficult. It may not feel like it now but you will get through this. This site is great for support, asvice or to just let off stream. I don’t know how I would have managed without it.
Take care
Julia xx