Hi there
My mum was recently diagnosed with BC and we are truly devestated and scared.
In the doctors words its is small <1cm, slow growing and non aggressive. Not sure if this is a good thing?
The plan is a lumpectomy with 3 weeks of radiotherapy and then possible medication. Is this typical treatment? What should we expect next? Ive read all over there are stages… but the doctor didnt mention this. I just feel helpless, dont know what to say.
MissyMoo
Welcome to the forums, this must be a very worrying time for you and your family but you have come to the right place for support from our experienced users who I’m sure will be along to support you soon.
In the meantime maybe you would like to talk things through with a member of our helpline staff who are there to offer emotional support as well as practical information. The free phone number is 0808 800 600 and the lines are open Monday to Friday 9.00 to 5.00 and Saturday 9.00 to 2.00.
Best wishes
June, moderator
Hi
Although BC is never good news, what your mum has is ‘good’ ie small, non aggressive all indications of catching it early.
You will find lots of women on this site that have had a lumpectomy and radiotherapy and have all moved on after their inital diagnosis.
I think its great that you’ve come onto this site - what a great daughter she’s got. I hope it also makes you feel less helpless. Lots of my friends said they felt helpless when I told them I had BC and like you some came onto this site and told me really useful things.
It will be up to your mum as to whether she wants to talk about it but if she’s got you to listen to her that will be a huge benefit.
(and remember you’ll probably want someone to talk to - we’re here!)
Wishing you and your mum the very best
Linda
x
hi,
what a scary time for you and your family. I am an older lady with a non aggressive slow growing lump that is coming out on the 21st June. I rang the breast nurse today (i bet you were given the number of one, they are so good on the phone and dont mind how many question you ask). I was bemused that people on this forum seemed to know the grade and wether their cancer was hormone receptive or tubular or whatever and I did not remember any of that being mentioned at my consult. She looked at my notes and said because of the type of cancer I had then they realy cannot tell much from the sample they have and have to wait until the lump is out and in the laboratory, at this stage they could not grade it or say what receptors it had.
I am sure you are going to get good advice here, and personally i am finding the best way to get through this is by asking questions here, no matter how silly they seem. I was a bit worried that my concerns were trivial compared to some of the huge issues some on this forum are facing, but everyone is so supportive and no-one makes you feel as if you are wasting time.
Thankyou so much for the replies!
I feel better for talking about it. I do hope its a “good” one and easily treatable. I feel absolutely devastasted but have to hold it together for her no matter how bad i feel its going to be a million times worse for her.
The doctor said it hadnt spread but i think this is from an ultrasound of the armpit i presume they will do a biopsy too to check. My main worry is will it come back or will this be the end of it?
Oldandlumpy - Good luck with your surgery i hope it all comes back good for you!
xx
Hi Missymoo,
It’s always a shock finding out someone in the family has any form of cancer. So many people think it’s terrible news and the treatment will be appalling etc. These days, breast cancer is treatable for most people, and especially for those whose lump is small and well behaved and in one place and who have a sensible team working with them.
If my maths doesn’t defeat me, that’d be normally about a 97 in 100 chance of success (but don’t quote me on it!). Treatments aren’t fun, but mostly they’re doable, especially with a lovely family or friends around to help out if we get a bit tired. I’m more than half way through chemotherapy for example and still working and having fun most of the time.
So yes, lots of emotions are absolutely normal, and so is lots of panic. But please don’t automatically think the worst 
Ann x
Hi MissyMoo
Sorry to read about your mum, but from what you have said it sounds similar to my mums diagnosis two years ago as she had a very small lump and she went on to have surgery and medication - that was all - and she’s fine now. I know it’s a difficult time for you and in some ways in my opinion it’s actually harder for the onlooker rather than the patient. That’s how I felt when watching my husband and son go through it with me - I’ve done the chemo, surgery, radiotherapy, meds the lot (and got the T Shirt lol)…
I also wanted to add that the helpline here is for everyone affected by cancer and not just the patient so give them a call - they’re brill.
Good luck, Dee x
hi missymoo.sorry to hear your news. i was dx with bc in oct 2009 age 40. my bc was 1.2cm in size grade and stage 1. this is a very early bc and slow growing. i had the lump removed and 15 lots of rads over 3 weeks.now iam on tamoxifen and zoladex these have put me into early menopause.this is a fantastic website with a lot of great ladies who will help you all they can along your journey. good luck with every thing that comes your way xxx gaynor
hi missymoo
sorry to hear about your mum.try to keep a positive attitude.its amazing what doctors can do these days.sounds like your mum has been diagnosed quite early which can only be a good thing.keep posting as this is a great place to talk.good luck and best wishes to your mum.anne.xx
Thankyou soo much for the comments the support is really appreciated this is without a dount the worst point in my life i just want to make her feel happy but i cant. I know im not the one suffering with the BC but it hurts me just as much. If i could take it for her i would. 
Im struggling with how to act though… how do i remain positive and upbeat without sounding like im dimissing her fears and anxiety if you know what i mean. Im trying to answer her worries with plus points but not sure if i sound like im playing the seriousness down. I just dont want her to get down and depressed about this.
Hi Missymoo,
firstly lots of love to you and your mum.
I think the best thing you can do is to take each bit as it comes, which I know isn’t always easy. It’s the kind of disease that won’t let you plan stuff, you just have to go with it and deal with each stage of treatment as it happens. Your mum will probably be like most of us and have ups and downs, but she will cope and you will too. Strangely that often gets easier once the waiting is over and the treatment is underway.
The situation does sound positive, so I would try to be positive for her. I think it’s also important to be able to be upset and cross too, so don’t overdo the positive stuff as sometimes just tea and sympathy is needed - relentless positivity can become very annoying!
The words ‘breast cancer’ are terrifying, although for many people it’s an illness that is really treatable and survivable, particularly in older women - probably more treatable long-term than say heart disease.
So my advice is to hope for the best and be there for her as you obviously are. The fear will reduce as you go along.
xx
Sounds to me as if you are doing it just right Missy Moo. I have experience from both sides. I felt just like you when my Mum was diagnosed and hers was dealt with by lump excision, radiotherapy and tamoxifen. She lived for many years and died at 85 of a heart attack. We cried together at first so she knew how I felt but then we worked through it and talked a lot. I would gee her up when she was down even though I was so worried. You manage somehow to do that.
Then the same thing happened between my daughter and I when I was diagnosed - tears and then a lot of talking has got us through. I feel fine now after a bilateral mx. There was no spread so the outlook is encouraging.
I hope it all works out well for you both. Certainly the signs so far are good.
well I remember when I told my daughter i was going to the clinic. she is such a worrier and i felt i had to be possative to help her. I think I made a bit light of it all so she was ok
so what do i want from her now. Well on the odd occasion i feel i need to express a concern i want her to take that on board, show that she sees that I am worried about that and not dismiss it and try to make me feel better.
i am still abit in denial–of course it is all going to be ok-- breast cancer is something all those other women get. But when I do need to explore the worse case scenario i want her to explore it with me, and respect my fears, be a bit frightened too and then we can talk it round together and come up posative again.
i have to admit that at the moment my worse fears are that i will loose my band, and not enjoy the grotty treatments that might be in store, with my type of cancer seems like I am not going to die.
So I think what i am trying to say, is do not try too hard to protect your mum from her fears. helping her to face them might be a good idea
my mom was dx over 10 yrs ago with bc and is still going strong today she is 74 yrs old and still working she had lump excision, radiotherapy and tamoxifen, she is doing well altho now worried about me being her youngest daughter and going through chemo with mine she gives me the strenght to keep going and show there is some good dx to come out of it just be there for her i couldnt be there for my mom as at the time she live in scotland and was staying in a hotel when she was undergoing tretament also she isnt the kind of person that wants ppl to run round after her lol but she my mom and im happy she still with me today be strong she will come through xxxxx
MisseyMoo it sounds to me like you are already doing such a grand job for your mum. I found out I had a grade 2 ductal BC in February 2011, just 3 weeks after the sudden and tragic loss of my husband at the age of 53 years to a heart attack. I am 50 years of age. I have had my op where at it’s widest point the excision was 9mm. I finish my radiotherapy next Friday 17th June, 2 days before my daughter’s 19th birthday. My daughter has been amazing and given the tragic loss of my husband, she has been my shining light through all of this. The best advice I can give is that you should be led by your mum, also let her know of the amazing support that is available to all sufferers of BC not just on this page but also through the various support networks as well.
Big hugs to you and your mum from Karen (eddyclan)
Hi Guys
Just popping back in as an update.
My mum had her lumpectomy a few weeks ago and we got the pathology results back this week.
Very clear margins, no node involvement, Hormone receptive and grade 1. We are very very happy the doctors are amazing and dont get nearly enough credit for the job they do.
I just wanted to say a big thankyou to everyone who offered their advice and support it was a massive help to me in supporting my mum. Hopefully this is the end of it for us but i wish all of you still dealing with this the best of luck and good wishes. Thanks again
Thats good news missymoo from that sounds like she will only need rads all the best to you & your mum
Hugs
Mekala x