Hi to you all. It is exactly a week since the Consultant told me I needed a mastectomy, chemo and radiotherapy. There is a “lump” but a lot of calcium spots that they need to take out. I am still in shock. I had plans to go and see my parents in Scotland (they are 85) and go on holiday last week in September. Consultant said “go” and when you come back, we’ll operate. Then your imagination runs riot! “Is he telling me it’s too far gone, and time doesn’t matter one way or the other”??? My mind is exhausted with all these questions and the pure strength I need to get through each day saying “I’m fine” is draining. I feel a strong companionship on this site. Need a wee bit of help right now. Thanks.
Hello,
I was in a similar situation when I was diagnosed. Your consultant knows your individual situation and is the best person to advise you. Most breast cancers don’t grow/spread very quickly at all - so you will probably be fine. However, it depends on whether you will be able to relax and cope emotionally. I was told I could delay treatment despite a very large lump and involvement of lymph nodes. I just knew I wouldn’t be able to relax and chose to start treatment immediately. On reflection - the treatment does stretch out and it would have been nice to have had a couple of nice trips at the beginning. But I’m still not sure that I, personally, could have coped with it as my head was all over the place - so I don’t think I would have been good company either!!
Good luck with your decisions - and we’ll always be here to “chat” to if you do decide to go, but need to come online for a little wobble!!
x
Hi Sooty
I’m nine months past where you are, but remember the total confused state I was in. Trying to second guess what the docs were trying to say, but too scared to ask because I really didn’t want to hear the answers. ‘Mass’ they said, sheesh that threw my into cold panic until I found out it was clinical term for a lump.
I also had lots of family commitments happening at the same time and was really confused about what I should do - big family get together and delay surgery or just miss it and ruin a long-planned occasion for everybody else.
There are no easy answers, but I do remember hearing that any diagnosable cancer has been there a pretty long time - mine was said to be 3-5 years in the making, so I guessed that a couple of weeks wouldn’t make much of a difference, but its always at the back of your mind, what if that 2 weeks does make a difference. But I ended up having surgery almost 3 months after diagnosis and am OK with that now. Stil don’t think its advisable to wait that long though!
Its a very difficult place to be where you are now, but most of us here do know that it gets better once things start moving.
If you go your holiday - have a great time. If you visit your folks hope that goes well - I’m in Ayrshire so if you;re anywhere near give me a shout.
The first weeks as such a strain and very exhausting so be good to yourself. Let us know how things go.
S
X
Hi Sooty
I needed the same as you and, for various reasons, there was a delay in starting treatment - over two months from when I first found the lump in the end.
My consultant assured me that a delay of a few weeks would make no difference to my long term prognosis. My cancer was ER +ve, so he did put me on Tamoxifen while everything got sorted out.
As Sandytoes said, it just depends on whether you can live with the wait and still enjoy your hols.
Godd luck
Dx
hi sooty, sorry to hear you have joined us, feels like the end of the world at the moment, we all understand , ok answer to your questions, your doctor said go away on holiday … the reason he said this… you have breast cancer, its not suddenly going to spread in the weeks your on holiday , you have a lot of treatments to endure when you get back , and you will feel much stronger for having the holiday, go away and try to enjoy it, it will be difficult with this hanging over your head … doctors these days dont give you false information, they say it how it is ,your very fortunate,… it would be a far worse situation if your doctor said cancel all your plans we want you in tomorrow. go away, try to relax and enjoy xxx angie
Hi Guy’s
It is the end of the world to hear those words isn’t it but i still don’t think i really cried. My husband did that. Not sure if i’m still in denial but just want to get on with it and feel fit & healthy.
First week of school hols and had an amazing holiday in Tenby with our young family (three under 5 years)although i had my hospital appointment two days later (after 6weeks referal wait). I’m 38 and been told i have grade 3 breast cancer but don’t think it’s got to lymph nodes yet! Had lumpectomy and lymph node removed last week.D Day is thursday with results on next step.
Can’t beleive there are so many of us with this condition.
Good luck everyone and positive wishes
Sian x
Hi cardiffmummy,
Welcome to the BCC discussion forums where I am sure you will get lots of good support from the many informed users of this site.
To help you along a little, I have put for you below links to some of BCC’s publications you may find helpful. Also if there is anything you want to talk about then the helpline staff are here for you, they’re here to support you through this. Calls to the helpline are free, as are all BCC’s publications.
Younger women with BC
standards of care for younger women:
and one for the children, BCC’s book Mummy’s lump:
I hope this helps. Take care,
Jo, Facilitator
Thank you so much for all your kind comments and support. I am off to Scotland tomorrow to see my parents for the week. I have sort of got my head round my diagnosis. I feel that if I had gone in for surgery straight away I would have been in shock and not been prepared for anything. But now I feel more settled with it and accepting what is going to happen. I am looking forward to my holiday in September. I have bad tinnitus and have short term concentration so that helps me not to dwell on things! LOL. I have found that my family are all dealing with it in different ways. My oldest daughter has bought me prosthetic bras and new pj’s to go into hospital whilst my youngest (who lives in Pershore)drives up for the weekend just for a hug! My husband classes it like toothache - it’s bad, get it out… But I have no internet access in Scotland so I will come back rested and a stone heavier thanks to sliced sausage and my dad’s dinners! Love to you all. xx
Hi Sooty
Glad you’re feeling a bit more sorted about it all. I’m just back from long walk with dog down shore and a wee visit to local cafe for best roll and sausage in the area - life certainly does still have its little pleasures!
S
Hi everyone. Well, I’ve had my week in Scotland with my dad (my mum is in a home - she has dementia). Managed not to tell dad my “condition”. Couldn’t upset him like that. My last day at work is this Friday. I have a date of 5th October for mastectomy but I am a bit confused. They are going to do an immediate reconstruction with an inflatable prosthesis (I wonder if I’ll get my own footpump! lol). Does anyone know how this works. Do they leave it flat after the op or inflate it gradually? I know I should have asked… And the consultant has ordered me a prosthesis as well, so I don’t know what he has planned. Also I have a heart condition so it will be up to the Oncologist whether I can have Herceptin or not. Then the consultant said if I can’t have the Herceptin there’s a chance I may not have to have chemotherapy. Totally confused. But the breast nurse said “just concentrate on the operation for now”. But it’s very hard not to think of what comes after the op! Has anyone else been through any of this? I would appreciate any comments as I am totally confused! My hubby and I are off to Tenerife next Tuesday for 10 days. So I am going to put all this in a little box and close the lid and leave it shut until I come back! I feel as though this is all happening to someone else - it will probably hit me when I walk in the hospital door on the 5th October! Luv to you all.
Your BCN is right just concentrate on the op for now, just one thing at a time.
There is so much that we are told and that happens with the treatment that we would all go totally barmy trying to work it all out in our heads at once.
So glad you decided to go to Scotland, after my diagnosis we went up to our caravan in Norfolk and it so helped me to relax and come to terms with everything.
I have my pre admission next Monday 19th and then we are going back up to close the van up for the winter but we will be up there just over a week and then when we come back on Tues or Weds I will be going in for my WLE on the Friday 30th.
Don’t forget to let us know how you get on.
Regards
Jean
Hi Sooty,
I had a mx with expander recon on 16th July so will try and help. The expander I have is a Beker, and it contains a little silicon and they fill it a little with saline during the operation.When you come round after you will have a breast approx 1/4 the size you are now - so not totally flat. I was given a ‘softie’(lovely and comfortable on the scar). I had 3 drains. The first was taken out on day 2 and the other two on day 3 before i went home. I have a port under my arm (worse than it sounds, it just feels like a 2p under the skin) for the fills which are totally painless. The pressure on the breast is strange and can be uncomfortable for a couple of days (lots of pillows in bed help if you are a side sleeper). I have the option of keeping this expander of having it exchanged for a silicone one at the end of my treatment (chemo and rads).
Please do remember that this is a work in progress so to speak, the final result won’t be for some time and things change and settle along the way.
I hope I haven’t waffled too much - I had 2nd FEC chemo today and feeling a bit spaced out!! If you have anymore questions or worries please just ask.
Take care
Nicki