hi im 44 and was only last week told i had a marble size cancerous lump in my right breast,im a bury your head in the sand kind of person that hopes things go away if i ignore them but i know i cant do that in this case, my biggest worry is for my family as we lost my mother 2 weeks ago to ovarian cancer and an uncle 7 months ago from bowel cancer so my kids are assuming im going to die also. i dont usually like to know details of any medical procedures that are being carried out i usually tell them just to get on with it lol, do you think i should stick to that or do you feel it would be better if i knew exactly what was happening, im feeling really scared about everything
Hi Loving Mum
Not a nice place to be but you came to the right place here…
There is an amazing amount of support from everyone “who has been there done that” and more info than anywhere… DO NOT GOOGLE!!! it is full of mis-information that will freak you out big time hon!
I’m a bit like you in the fact that I often bury my head and ignore things… I do think its a good idea to just go with it and try not to worry as we cant change any outcome… They can do soooo much for BC nowadays so try not to worry (brave words as we all do it) but I dont suggest finding out all the minute details unless you can rise above it and stay strong… sometimes a little knowledge is dangerous for the ordinary person and as long as you are in good hands let the team handle your diagnosis as they are the experts 
Keep your chin up and stay strong for yourself and your family I wish you well and hope its a non invasive lump, lots of them are!!
Good luck xxxhugxxx Doz
Hi there lovingmum
Welcome to the discussion forums, I’m sure you’ll find them a great source of information and support.
It’s understandable that you feeling scared right now, once your treatment starts, some of these feelings will ease as I’m sure others will say.
If you feel it might help to talk things through, do call our Helpline, they’re on 0808 800 6000 and are open until 2pm today and 9-5 on weekdays.
We also have many publications which you might like to browse through, here’s the link to the page where they can be found:
www2.breastcancercare.org.uk/publications
I’m sure others will be along very soon to offer their support and share their experiences.
Best wishes.
Louise
Facilitator
thank you louise, and doz what does an invasive lump mean? is that maybe why i got am MRI scan yesterday? im totally clueless, and as for google i done that but switched off after 5 mins as it freaked me out big time,
Hi
Invasive lump is when its in the surrounding area also…
NOT all cancers are invasive as with mine… and the MRI is probably just to check it all out thoroughly so dont panic … they are just being thorough which is good xxx
Hi, I was diagnosed with invasive cancer at 45, and am now 53 and am fine. The survival rate is very good these day. When my partner told a doctor friend of his, he said ‘she should be optimistic, actually very optimistic’ when meant more to me than any medical date or stats.
If you feel comfortable with your medical team, just take their advice on treatment etc. If you don’t understand something don’t be embarrassed to ring your breast care nurse, they are very used to having explaining things several times. They know its all a huge shock, and therefore difficult to absorb all at once.
all the best
Sarah
Hi lovingmum,
I’m 49yrs and was diagnosed with invasive lobular BC in November. There are several types of invasive cancers- ductal, lobular, tubular etc. It just means in has spread into the surrounding breast tissue and is not contained as in-situ. some invasive BCs are not seen very well on mammograms, lobular doesn’t show up , therefore they do an MRI to get a better look at size etc. I had an MRI.
You will be told staging and ghrading, there is a good leaflet on this. Depening on your staging, grading, age and lymph node involvement the onc can then decide with the surgeon what treatment you need.
I had a WLE and lymph nodes excised first, then a MTX and I’m now having chemo. It all seemed horrendous at your stage, but it has been quite do-able,all of it.
These forums are a great support.
Take care.
Fiona
Hi Loving mum, i was diagnosed 23rd dec invasive lobular cancer thats why i had an MRI. The best advice i can give yo these early days is use this site when low or confused or worried. i do not know how i would have coped the last 2 months without it and you will not feel alone and you are talking to women who understand. lots of love and take care HOLLG
Hi loving mum
I too have invasive lobular cancer. I was diagnosed in November and had the usual batch of biopsies, ultrasounds. Then advised to have MRI. Thanks Fiona I didn’t realise this could be because the mammogram doesn’t show much.
Like everyone says avoid Google I’ve found you get much more personal advice here.
I’ve had a therapeutic mammoplasty with lymph node check, which thankfully was all clear.
I now ave oncology this Wednesday to see whether I need chemotherapy, but definitely radio and have already been put on Tamoxifen.
Like everyone says one step at a time.
Love
Carolyn
Hi Loving mum, just wanted to wish you well and say hi.
I am 43 yr old single mum of 1 son and DX with IDC & Lymphs on 12th Jan.
Personally I like to know EVERYTHING and was the same when I was pregnant all those years ago. At that time I was really pleased I did because I had complications at the birth and when the room flooded with people I felt completely in control and wasn’t scared by all the drama.
I’ve been the same with BC and wanted to know the Good, The Bad and The Ugly. Sometimes “The Ugly” got to me and I’m not sure it was overly helpful going there, but most of the time I’ve been pleased that I armed myself with facts, figures and knowledge and I certainly get the impression from the Chemo threads that knowledge is helping those ladies through the treatment.
I’d recommend getting a basic understanding from this forum and asking any questions to your breast care nurse. It’s good that you are having an MRI as it gives them a full picture of the affected area and you will know that your surgeon / Breast Care Team will be giving you the best treatment based on the results.
I had CT Scan and Bone Scan and am so grateful that I have those results in my file to remind myself how healthy the rest of me is when I have a down day 
Let us know how things go.
Hi loving mun
Sorry that you have to be on this site, but as the other users say, you’ve come to the right place. I was diagnosed in December, had a mastectomy in January (my lump was 61mm) and I’m just waiting for my chemo and radiotherapy to start.
I bought a little note book as there were words and terms that I’d never heard before. I write everything down (as diary form), my thoughts, feelings etc. Don’t be afraid to ask questions, there is no such thing as a ‘stupid’ question. Take faith in your surgeon and breast care nurse, they are there to help you and your family. I found it good to talk to my family about it. I’m like angelherts, I like to know everything. You may feel that you will be told alot of cliches on here, but take on board what others say, We all wouldn’t be on here if we didn’t need help. You will find that there are ladies (and men) who have been clear for a number of years, but they still post on the threads to give help and support. Give the BCC helpline a call, even if you just want to have a rant or cry.
Take care
Hugs and xxxxx
Di
Hi loving mum,
I always thought I would want to know every detail if I ever got cancer. Now my surgeon and ONC know not to tell me anything unless I ask. I know I would google anything I was told and frankly I don’t think I could cope with what I might find.
I haven’t even let them tell me the type of cancer I have - I know size and grade (4cm and grade3) and need for treatment because of size and closeness to chest wall. That’s all I need to know for now because it helps me to accept chemotherapy. Treatment has been far less awful than I imagined and I’ve got so used to my wig that it stays on from early morning until bedtime.
You will find good friends here who will understand you when your closest friends and family are mystified or hurt by your ups and downs. What you say here won’t hurt people or make anyone think less of you.
None of us ever imagined ourselves making this journey but all of us are getting through with a little help from our friends.
I wish you the very best.
Hugs,
Kathleen
thank you so much everyone for your kind words and helpful comments, they have all helped so much, im waiting to hear the results of my mri scan so am feeling quite anxious but also a little optomistic that when they drew fluid from my lymph node it was fine, im having days when i feel very possitive and other days when i look at my kids and feel like my heart is going to break, my 7 year old daughter is autistic and im the only one that knows how to handle her behaviours so i get very worried as i know that after my op ant during ant treatment it is goin to be difficult. again thank you all so much and i wish you all the very best for your future xx