Just reading my post back it looks a bit trite . I remember between my failed procedure the confirmation that it had failed I thought about my Mum a lot . I had a kind of PTSD where I couldn’t stop reliving the last couple of months of her life which then morphed into thoughts about my BC and back again - I thought I was losing it completely . In the day I kept busy and was mostly ok but some evenings were awful. Via work I have access to a crisis counseling line and I ended up calling it one night and it was really helpful - so it might help to speak to someone . The stage that you’re at can be a confusing time anyway because your active treatment is almost at an end and often there’s an expectation that you will feel relieved and happy but even without bereavement as you say you still don’t feel like yourself . There are many threads about this on here - you’re not alone . If you’re offered a Holistic Needs Assessment by your BCN that might be helpful and possibly the Moving Forwards course via Breast Cancer Now in a month or two . Xx
Hello! Most of us completely understand how you are feeling; you are not alone, although I’m so sorry you are feeling this way. I get the panic attacks as well. I’ve just read through my diaries of last year - as if that’s going to help! I wonder if it would help you to be able to talk to someone who’s gone through the same thing? BCNow run this service of connecting people together…Also, on a completely practical note, this may help. The Royal College of Anaesthetists has created some new calming hypnotherapy exercises (available on its website, if these links don’t work). [Preparing your mind before surgery 7]
(Preparing your mind before surgery | The Royal College of Anaesthetists) Best of luck, and try contacting BCN for a phone call or Macmillan if you need a chat. They are brilliant.
I wish I could go with you and have my arm around you the entire. I’m really do
I can relate so much to your experience. I had DCIS diagnosed as part of my first routine mammogram with the NHS. I wasn’t overly worried and just wanted to get on with it, it being surgical removal. The worst part seemed to be having to come off HRT.
At my one year check up they found anomalies in my other breast, took a biopsy and confirmed cancer again. This time it was Stage 2 so I had surgery and radiotherapy treatment. That was during Covid.
Today I have been recalled following my annual mammogram earlier in the month. I am incredibly worried that I will have another cancer detected in the breast that had DCIS, and despite hoping for a negative result I can’t stop thinking about it, worrying about it, obsessing about it.
Hi @kjo, sorry to hear about your recall - the waiting is dreadful isn’t it? I know it’s easier said than done but try not to think the worst, there are so many things it could be other than cancer. I had a recall one time that turned out to be calcifications.
How long do you have to wait for the next appointment?
Thinking of you.
Lxx
Hello… 
I’m happy to hear your recent scans was good. It’s very difficult with the anniversary for yearly mammograms. I’ve been in remission since 2015 from stage 1B, TNBC… sentinel node biopsy which was clear, harsh chemo, lumpectomy and 33 rounds of Radiation. It was rough, my annual mammo is tomorrow morning and I’m a nervous wreck. So it’s understandable to feel fearful. I’m currently dealing with high anxiety 
I’m doing my best to stay calm and positive. My thinking is all over the place right now … I have bad scar tissue pains too so I’m praying for good results. Stay strong 
we are warrior women 
Hello Debs,
Hopefully a restful day, this is always a worrying time enjoy the sunshine, maybe have a nice walk.
Not the best time for us when our follow up appointment arrives. Try to stay positive very easy for me to say. I had a lovely radiologist who did asked if I was feeling ok, I explained how anxious I was she was extremely kind and in fact had my mammogram checked before I left the department, maybe you could asked the question I know this is not always possible, but worth a try.
Fingers crossed for a good outcome, wishing you lots of happiness going forward.
With love Tili 
Hi all
Just to say I had to chase for my annual mammogram, I hadn’t heard by end of June so called the Breast Care Nurse who said it may be delayed until September due to holidays. Two weeks ago I realised I hadn’t been seen in the lymphoedema clinic either so called the team direct, who booked me in for the next day, as a self referral, after checking I had had breast cancer surgery!. I hadn’t been referred last July, I called the breast care nurses who were defensive saying I was on the list. I said it was between the two departments and that others may have been missed aswell. I chased radiology for mammogram date to be told I hadn’t been referred either.
It’s not bad enough that we build ourselves up for these anniversaries to find that you’re not even in the system. I cried on the return phone call/answerphone to the breast care nurse. I then got a very curt message back that I had been referred. Within 15 minutes I had a radiologist call to book my mammogram for 2 days time, so much for September.
Luckily the breast unit was really quiet, I was told there were no consultants in so no clinics only a couple of radiographers doing mammograms. It’s was a bit weird, it’s not like breast cancer stops for the summer holidays! I was told results in the post normally within 2 weeks but more likely to be 4 weeks because of holidays.
The lymphoedema nurse was so lovely and gave me a thorough check and said small swelling on one side (I had one primary in each breast) but not lymphoedema. She showed and discussed good bras, lymphatic drainage and self care. She confirmed that cancer referrals are all seem within their 3 month timescale so it must have been an admin error.
I’ve also had to chase my GP for a cholesterol check due to Letrozole.
So waiting for my results is going to be hard but I’m trying to stay positive.
I mentioned before the BCN Moving Forward course, which I attended myself a few weeks ago. It was so lovely to meet 14 other ladies who ‘get it’. I’ve also found 4 ladies who love locally, the first time in over a year. I travel 30 miles to oncology and 40 miles to the breast unit, so you can imagine it’s hard to meet someone in your local area. We have set up a WhatsApp group to keep I touch and meet up. I would highly recommend to anyone who has finished ‘active’ treatment, chemo/surgery/radio. OK to go if like me still on Herceptin etc
Take care all and let us know how you all get on. 
Hi @deb4
Welcome to the forum.
I hope your mammogram went as well as can be expected today.
I get where you are coming from, I had my annual mammogram last week and now have 4 week wait for results. I’m not sure it’s going to get any easier next year.
I hope you have friends, family, colleague or a professional that you can share your feelings or anxiety with. The forum is here for you but I’ve found it’s good to share face to face aswell.
The BCN nurses can be contacted here
Helpline: 0808 800 6000 (Mon-Fri 9am-4pm; Sat 9am-1pm). Speak to our trained helpline team. No questions are too big or too small
You can get free counselling at Maggie’s https://www.maggies.org/ or MacMillan Free counselling for people with cancer | Macmillan Cancer Support
Hi. Can you tell me when the anniversary for mammogram is taken from please. Is it the date of first surgery or the date of referral, or the date of biopsy? I was referred and had biopsy in July last year, but surgery was in September. I can imagine that I might have to chase too as my radiotherapy referral to another hospital was forgotten about. I’m waiting for referral back to oncologist too but not confident that’s going to happen. We do have to keep chasing which is just added stress. I’m sorry you had to deal with all that. Thanks. x
I was told it is the anniversary of your surgery when the cancer should have been removed.
It so wrong we have to chase these things up, if we didn’t have this forum we may not even know we had been forgotten.
Hope this helps.
Thank you. I’ll be chasing if I need to. x
Just to say I had a clear mammogram! Yay! Only another 365 days until the next!
Excellent news 