Up early and worrying again / had a good day yesterday but still have this nagging lower back ache which is plunging me into paranoia. Doctotr took a quick look Friday and prodded here and there and said the muscles are tight and it’s prob muscular but didnt do a proper examination. Consutant still didn’t think it was connected. I’m thinking the worst … eap with the lymphovascular invasion - just want this all to go away. Not feeling supported at home either 
Hi ladybowler and thank you for replying. I did get go to my gp and she thought it was muscular. I’ve taken some paracetamol and it eases a little. I’m going to try and go for a walk a bit later.
As for the lymphovascular invasion, I’ve read quite a bit now and there’s contrasting info, but quite a lot of the women on here have it and their oncologists do not seem concerned by it as the chemo mops any cells up that may have escaped into the bloodstream. I guess I have to take some positivity that four of my nodes were clear. I think if I didn’t have this backache constantly there to remind me, I would be able to pull my positivity pants up high and march into battle, but it’s hard, especially when you read other stories.
My consultant stands by her word that it’s been caught early but I’m unsure how she knows. I’ve got a few little tumors rather than one. Everything seems to get more complicated as time goes on.
Im so grateful for this sight as although my husband is here with me, I can’t talk to him about any of it. I don’t think he knows what to say to me.
Have a good day ladies x
Totally relate to the early hours and the mind wandering all over the place. I was diagnosed 3weeks ago Grade 3 DCIS and the mind contours up all sorts. Keeping busy and it does sound corny but it is about a day st a time. You will get through this,it may be a crappy time but will come out the other side!
Hi ladies
Feeling a bit better today ! I think the whole day has passed without tears and fears. Still have this pigging backache though. Going to try get to GP tomorrow -,praying it’s not connected xxx
Does this get any worse, someone give me a break. Just got results in both oestrogen and progesterone negative !! Still awaiting her2 status. So scared now please someone give me some reassurance x
Thank you ladies
I’ve just been on the phone to my mum for an hour talking things through. it’s just one ad a shock as I was really expecting to be hormone receptive due to all my ivf. Just goes to show, you just never know. Now looking at being either her2 or triple neg. Just a month ago I was facing having DCIS. How things can change so quickly. I feel like I’ve been drip fed information and results and every visit to the hospital has brought more c**p news. But I’m getting through it and I will beat it !!! I’m going to be one of the survivors too xxxx
Hi lilneenz, you said it you will be one of the survivors stay positive , easier said than done I know but you can do it we have more strength than we realise , when I got my results I was devestated it once I started treatment I just thought to myself I could either fight like a b…h or worry my self sick ? and I choose to fight and I’ve came though it and you will find your inner strength to , good luck with your plan and I’m sure your backache will just be muscular Like your doctor has said thinking of you all who are still having treatment or waiting to start 
Hi
I’m really going through the mill and don’t know where to turn now, I just feel as if I’ve been left waiting for this oncology appt April 11th - knowing i have either triple neg or her2 is so frightening and after weeks of being told my backache has nothing to do with anything as it’s “early” and the lymph nodes are clear (even though I have Lvi) got a phone call yesterday afternoon from the bcn asking if I would have a ct and bone scan as consultant concerned about my ongoing backache !!! I am so so scared / I’ve tried to contact my local hospital counsellor and their waiting list doesn’t open until July / I’ve tried calling the oncologists for advice - I just feel there’s no one left to turn to and feel so frightened for the future. I’m terrified it’s spread / I can’t see any positives to grab onto
Hi Lilneenz,
So sorry to hear how you’re feeling now, it’s certainly seems to be dragging for you& the uncertainty is hellish. Although it piles on the anxiety, at least they are being thorough in ordering the ct & bone scan.
If you haven’t already, it might be an idea to ring the helpline above, at least you will be able to talk things through
sending big hugs
ann x
Thank you ann
Yes it is really dragging on / so worrying - I have called helpline last week - thank you x
I’m in Kent my lovely so it’s a bit far for me to travel but thank you for the advice it’s really appreciated - trying to hang on in and be positive - went for a lovely walk today - I just want to start treatment and then I can start fighting this cretin - right now it’s just limbo land xxx
Yeah maybe but they do seem like an afterthought - I’ve been asking about my back every week and she’s dismissed it - even only just on Tuesday - but then I got an unexpected call yesterday… I only thought they did those scans if nodes were positive, so worried they thonknmy back ache is a sign of spread x
Thank you I will try Haven xx
Hi lineeze, I’m sorry you feel so down right now , could your gp not try and chase things up for you the waiting is terrible sometimes a nice hot bath eases the pain and maybe try ibuprofen , thinking of you xx