Hi all
I haven’t been on the forums here for soooo long, most of you won’t remember me. I was dx in Nov 07 with Grade 3 her+bc which resulted in right mast. Had 4 x fec, 1 x tax (long story lol - those that remember me will know lol) and then 3 x fec, 20 rads and finished a year of herceptin in July this year. I went back to work last September to a brand new job, working full time. Thoroughly enjoy it, and boss is a good friend who has worked round the weekly trips to hossie (I had hickman line fitted for herceptin so had to go every week to get it flushed). Was really feeling like things were picking up and it was safe to raise my head above the parapet again, so to speak. Sorry if this is long…
That was until I got called for my first check up,2 weeks ago, when they were going to decide how often I had to come back for routine checks etc. First appt was just with consultant onc, for physical examination. I had been getting a bit of pain in left arm funnily enough - which onc thought just needed physio - but have had no other problems. Onc examined mast site, and asked if I’d ever felt the lump she could feel. Hello??? Of course I hadn’t or else I’d have been back! So she said she would take a biopsy there and then, and I would get an appt to go back the following week.
Appt letter duly arrived for the following Wednesday morning, followed by another appt letter the next day saying I had an appt for my mammogram on the left side on the Tuesday. So, quite unworried, given that I had just undergone a physical examination to the left side which revealed nothing - I trotted off to the mammo on the Tuesday. Having finished the mammo, they asked me to wait while they checked the films… then they asked me into the ultrasound room, at which point I knew something wasn’t right. "Something’was showing on the films that was a ‘substantial change’ over the previous years film which they wanted to check. Lo and behold the ultrasound couldn’t find it, so they said I’d have to come back the next week (this week) for an xray guided needle biopsy.
Now I was worried! Then trotted off the next day to get the results of the previous weeks biopsy and was kind of relieved to be told it was scar tissue and nothing else. But the nurse giving me that result didn’t know I’d been scheduled for another biopsy so couldn’t quite understand why I wasn’t bouncing about with joy!
I went for the second biopsy yesterday afternoon. Had to endure the mammo again, then the ultrasound - at which they still couldn’t pick it up, but they showed me the area on the mammo films - and there’s deffo something there! So I had to go back in the mammo machine for 25 mins (!!!) so they could use the xray film to guide them in with the needle. Took 8 sections away - and then told me how good I’d been (pretty hard to be anything else when they have your one remaining boob clamped hard in that flippin machine!).
I have to wait till next Tuesday for the results - have just had the appt letter today. My mind has now gone into overdrive…particularly as my original prognosis was not good for chance of recurrence.
To the outside world I’m putting on this face that says ‘I’ve done it once, I can do it again’… but inside I’m absolutely terrified… with my sensible head on I know it could be hundreds of other things apart from the cancer returning but then my sensible head doesn’t appear to be putting in much of an appearance at the moment.
Im not really sure what I’m looking for here…I just needed to vent I think - sorry
Magz