Hi im ok thankyou 
Surgery went well. Quite stiff and achey but seem to have reasonable mobility in that arm and not too much actual pain. Feel incredibly anxious about the results of how many more nodes might be positive (feel like results never seem to go my way…..). Have to wait 3 weeks for that 
Drain is less annoying than i feared but will be pleased when its out!!
How’s your partner doing? Drain still in?? Hope all going well for her 
Pleased to hear all went well. Are you home?
Stace is actually in quite a bit of discomfort. We have asked if the drain can come out sooner than Monday and now have an appointment on Friday morning. Like you it’s now a waiting game. Where are you based?
To be honest we’ve both had a rough few days, each taking it in turns to be tearful. I am sure you will understand, after all it’s you and Stace that are physically on this journey, however, those beside you are on the carriage behind. It all feels surreal. Like one minute life was pretty fab, and now it feels like everything is completely out of control. We try as hard as possible to remain positive but it’s so god damn tough.
I worry, that cancer may have been missed in the other breast. ILC hides, we went from 6cm to 20cm so it definitely hides well. However we will raise this at Fridays appt.
Try and rest, do you have children to take care of?
x
Yes im home and yes i completely understand the tearful, anxious feeling. My mood has been very unstable throughout but particularly since I got the surgery histology as it changed everything so much. I had a low oncotype score so im holding on to that as a really positive thing which shows the biology of the cancer is not aggressive. I’ve been told its a turtle not a hare. That it only got big because of time rather than aggression. I think its quite common for lobular cancer to be larger at diagnosis because it doesn’t form a distinct lump.
Like you I feel like my world was turned upside down overnight. Everything was great then it was awful with nothing in between. I’m grieving for all the things I’ve already missed out on because of this already, and the carefree future I know I’ll never have now. Was meant to be flying to rhodes on friday for annual girls trip with my friends and I obviously can’t go now. I just know im going to feel miserable the whole time they’re away 
Im based in Suffolk what about you guys? Live with husband and 2 kids aged 15 and 18. My husband says like you- im in the driving seat but he’s very much a passenger on this journey. He’s struggled quite a bit because its also been so hard for him, and he’s constantly trying to mask his emotions and keep pepping up my low mood, but all the support is directed to me rather than to him. He needs support too. Its also a huge thing for partners.
Sending you both a solidarity hug 
xx
@desrev2015 just spotted your partner has ILC too and that you mention it can be tricky to spot. I was diagnosed with ILC in Feb and had upfront chemo followed by a mammoplasty in July and radiotherapy, which I’m just finishing. When they were planning my treatment, I had full breast/abdo CT and MRI scans and a nuclear bone scan to check other places it hides, as well as the mammo and ultrasound checks. They called me back for biopsies on the left breast after those scans but they were benign. Before the biopsy results I was convinced it was in both breasts and had spread but my team reassured me that the ‘full MOT’ is designed to catch any hint of a problem and ensure it’s investigated. If your partner wasn’t called back after that type of imaging I’d try to hold tight to that, though I know it’s hard. 