Aneeebel, no need to apologise for ranting to us. We all fully understand how you feel.
Thank you all for your good wishes. I’m feeling a bit better today. I’ve just had my blood test and now need to waste 1.5 hrs before onc. I really hope they let me have chemo tomorrow but I fear they’ll say I’m not well enough. ??
Take care lovely ladies and stay safe ???
?Fiona xxx
Hooray, T1 is on ???
?Fiona xxx
Yay Fiona! Good news! ? I hope that the tax side effects are kind to you. Be prepared for them to kick in after a few days. Let us know how you get on!
Xox ???
Thinking of you today Fiona… hope the s/e are kind to you! ??? x
Hope it goes well today Fiona, thinking of you. Like Elliesmum says be prepared for the delayed side effects, get plenty of rest xx
Lovely day to you all Xx
Thank you lovely ladies for your kind thoughts and support. We’ve arrived early as always and I’m getting pretty nervous about this one, it’s fear of the unknown isn’t it as it’s the first T. I’ve had a few tears this morning already.? On the upside, it means I’m halfway through this phase ??
I know I couldn’t do it without you all to sound off at and my husband and family. Only trouble is I feel guilty I’m letting my husband and family down by being ill in the first place and putting extra strain on them all when they all have enough to cope with ?
It really is a pile of ? (yay, I found the symbol!).
Take care ladies and stay safe ???
?Fiona xxx
First T done, took longer than expected as I had an almost immediate reaction. But the nurses jumped into action, got the anti histamine drugs etc into me and then all ok.
?Fiona xxx
Well done, Fiona, one more done! ?
Hi Fi ??well done darling, sorry to hear about reaction, it’s happened to a few of us, mishy18 switched to abraxane and was ok on that and I reacted to 2nd t so I whussed our on abraxane and could have kissed my onc when they let me go back to fec for my last 6th chemo. Keep close eye on yourself lovely and if you feel strange even with no temp, please ring your rapid response, t can be a bit of a dragon ? keep the fluids going and if you get squirty bum up the carbs, I was living off bread rolls during the 2 t cycles, but always phone unit so they can assess you 
And that’s another one ticked off ???home straight now lovely you are all doing amazing ???all treat yourselves to a bit of online shopping ???if oh’s Moan say you must have done it because the steroids ???that’s what we blamed our spending genders on ???
Shi xx
Oooh another one down Fiona… ??
Hopefully you won’t have any s/e! X ??
Thank you everyone for your kind thoughts.
It was all a bit scary to say the least but those nurses are great, I really can’t fault them. As soon as I said I had a pain in my chest they were all there doing their bit and keeping a check on me.
I’ve had a good nap this afternoon so I’m feeling a bit better ?. Let’s see if I can get through this second half of ? as well as I did the first half ??
?? to you all.
?Fiona xxx
I have everything crossed for you Fiona… ??? xx
Badboob… so sorry to hear about your friend! What a shock that was for you! If you need a shoulder you know where we are! ??? x
And don’t worry about swearing… you’re allowed to say whatever you want! We all are!
???
So sorry to hear your sad news badboob, I’m glad you got to see your friend before. Sorry to hear about your Christmas, sending you lots of love 
Completely agree with you Fiona, feels like chemo takes so much! I feel like I’m fighting to hang on to the few things that are the same! Sometimes I just get so angry with it all and still can’t believe this is even happening.
I don’t know if it is helpful to anyone else but I just keeping breaking everything down into tiny wins, I’ve pretty much got to the stage where I think everyone in the house made it through the day and is feed ? that’s a win ?
Badboob, I’m also really sorry to hear about your friend. As if you didn’t have enough to deal with at the moment already! Thinking of you and sending big hugs your way. ???
I hope you’re still feeling ok, Fiona. While I did have a few days where I felt terrible, I’m feeling much better now. Still needing a nap most afternoons, but I managed a decent hike today: about 5 miles, carrying the little person on my back (well, my husband probably carried her for 1 mile… he claims he can’t use the baby carrier as it “hurts his back” ?). Felt very proud of myself afterwards, but will definitely need a nap soon! ?
I too am celebrating the little victories, Sar_ah. On my bad days this cycle, I literally set myself the goal of getting my daughter dressed and off to nursery in the morning; getting anything else done was a “bonus”! I found it really helped my mindset, as I had been getting quite down about how little I was getting done each day.
Aneeebel, your granddaughter sounds adorable. What a thoughtful young lady! ? Best of luck with cycle 5. I too have cycle 5 on Friday, but this will be my first lot of herceptin alongside chemo. I see the oncologist on Wednesday and have been warned that she will likely reduce the dose of my next chemo to 80% as I didn’t tolerate the first T cycle very well. Has anyone else had a reduced dose? I’m not sure how I feel about it. Part of me thinks that, if I’m enduring the rubbish that is chemo, I want it to be as effective as possible and so want to have the full dose. On the flip side, I really did feel rubbish for a few days last cycle and don’t really want that to happen again… Will I be able to choose to have the full dose if the oncologist recommends reducing to 80%?
Happy New Year to you all. I hope that 2019 is kinder to all of us. Xox ???
Hi @ElliesMum: I had all of my T at reduced dose due to liver problems at the end of FEC and an infection in my first TPH. At my hospital they don’t like to “yo-yo” doses, so once it was lower it didn’t go back up (I did ask!). However, it seems different hospitals have different approaches, so yours may be open to doing so.
One thing I learned is that the doses are calculated based on your body surface area – a pretty rough measure, estimated with weight and height, but it is the best they have until they are able to do more research on the genetics of tumors, and the “100%” dose level is mostly focused on max safe dose, with the emphasis on safety. If your body is struggling with the drugs, your actual max safe dose is probably lower than your estimated BSA suggests.
As to max versus lowered doses: My mid-chemo MRI showed relatively little response to FEC, while my end of chemo one showed high response to TPH – and not just on the HER2+ side. And that was with every T at around 77%. Of course, every tumor is different – not just every person…
Happy New Year, October starters! You’re halfway through – or further – and chemo will be over sooner than you can imagine! ??
@Badboob Although I am just an interloper from June, I wanted to send more hugs your way. Losing your friend at this time in this way must be all the harder. Take care. ?
Happy New Year to you all… ???
Thinking of you all! Have a fab New Year… We’re on our way up Ladies… stay strong! ??? x
???
Happy New Year in advance lovely ladies ? I don’t know about you but I can’t see myself seeing the New Year in this time. I am unbelievably tired on T but today me and hubby did a 3 mile walk so I’m quite pleased with myself. I even had 10 minutes or so when I felt I was coming round and cheering up ?. I’m not coping too well on T mentally and the side effects are different (my fingernails hurt ?) but I’m getting by and that’s the good thing.
I really do wish you all the very best for 2019. We are getting there ?? I know I’ve said it before but each day done is one step closer to the end of this nightmare journey. Not one of us chose to be on it but we will come out of it stronger. And I for one couldn’t do it without you all helping me and being there ?
Happy New Year ?
?Fiona xxx
Happy new year to you all ladies! I’m currently sitting with my sleeping husband watching James Bond ??
Back in for my second T Thursday and dreading it! Also suffering from my fingernails hurting 
most the of the other side effects have subsided but I now have horrible dry peeling hands and the most awful pain in my jaw anytime I have anything too cold! It feels like it moves up both sides of my jaw right up to the top, does anyone else have this? I’ve looked at the side effects but can’t find anything, I’m back on the 2nd but worried they may think I’m mad!
Xx