I also found it really helpful to look at my incision as soon as it was checked post surgery in the hospital and then properly once I got home. It is a very emotional thing, but for me I felt the sooner I looked and touched it the better. My incision is very neat from what I can see under the steristrips, and it helped to confirm that I made the right choice for me.
I think you could start with smaller steps, maybe looking at part of your incision, or touching it through the fabric of a robe or your bra, or even get someone you trust to look and describe it to you, I think it’s really helpful to take that first little step as soon as you feel comfortable. I did have a cry after I’d had a good look, but I was glad I took that step.
@dilly hi my name is Sam and Ive joined the February group. I am about to start the same chemo drugs as you just the other way round with EC first.
I had a masectomy in November followed by anxillary node removel 2/14 positive. I had 2 tumors that were grade 1. But very large invasive 70mm hence the chemo.
All of my cancer has been removed by surgery
I am extremely nervous about chemo and was wondering how you found it.
Hi @sammy75 for me, the anticipation and fear about the first chemo was worse than the actual experience. I didn’t have any bad reaction to the chemo when it was given and everyone on the unit is so kind and caring.
My main advice would be to call the helpline if you are unsure about any symptom, and don’t wait too long to get help, e.g. I ended up with oral thrush because I thought it was just a ‘sore mouth’ from chemo.
I would also say to take your temperature every morning. Also take it before you call the helpline because they will ask what it currently is when you call.
Drink 2 to 3 litres of water every day come what may, it really does help. Don’t beat yourself up if you can’t manage a walk every day: I Iooked at each cycle as a whole and averaged a walk on half the days, because I might have been unable to go out for a whole week because I was feeling awful, but then would be able to get out every day the next week, etc.
@sammy75 I just want to echo the voices that have shared their experiences with you. Nothing I can say will offer anything new. I do agree that the reality isn’t as bad as the anticipation of it. You will have so much support from the cancer team, as well as heaps of support from us. You are not alone in this. I’d say there are very few side effects that can’t be tackled with medications and your cancer team are on hand 24/7 to support you. If you have anything worrying you, just get on the phone to them, or jump on here and have a chat with us. Just don’t’ sit in silence with your worries.
@tigress42 I was first diagnosed through an April scan … all the pre assessments, scans etc during school term. My colleagues kept asking me why I was at work, my response was, same as last week i just know I have cancer! Staff were all a bit weird with me until Summer term ended as I was to normal or jolly … i did take a few days off to get my head straight then carried on. Surgery July for lumpy, second August as margins weren’t clear. Seems a lifetime ago all that waiting between appointments.
TBH I’ve had very little contact from colleagues … intital hope you’re ok, blah blah then term takes over and silence. I did get pics from Xmas do!!! I know they’re all off out to my local for drinks shortly for 1/2 term so I’m popping in.
Need to set a few chemo facts straight- seems usual chinese whispers in the staffroom - I was seen in the pub, how can she go to a pub but not go to school (work). Yup, seriously. Apparently I should be locked in the house until all treatment is done That would screw with my mental health.
I’m just gonna sit drinking Guinness sweating lol😜 Glad you had girlie time. My hubby was watching rugby in town so i had ‘blowing stuff up’ viewing with my son - pretty funny. He’s great.
@poptart I’ve definitely got my pre rads mark up day on the 4th March (date checked ), likely to start 15 fractions over 3 weeks within a few weeks of that. End of March or April as well.
I am going slow n steady going back to school - in Feb last year I had my gallbladder removered and returned to work to soon, result of which was another two weeks off due to over doing it.
I need to be 100% for school, zero fuilt about being off - pay stopping in a few weeks anyway so costing nothing to the trust. Staffing is in place so i’d be ‘spare’ until September. Instead of a phased return in September I’m asking to change my contract to drop a day, my reasonable adjustment under the Disability at work act. A shorter week plus taking an actual lunch break! Moving forward a better work life balance. What is the point of fighting through this crap to just be in work most of the time? Nope. Long weekends here I come.
We can moan radiation fatigue together!! From blue tit to cooked tit. What a wonderful journey.
Karen
@dilly You wee rockstar. Well done for getting through the last few weeks and a major hurdle. So glad your team made you feel safe and cared for You are very brave at being open about how it feels physically and emotionally after surgery. The change in shape and new scars are hard to get use to. I hope you are getting on ok with the post surgery exercises.
I’ve not worn a ‘normal’ bra yet since surgery in August. Everything is just different. Getting use to touching the area is bizarre and hard to translate to other people even close friends. Although I’m not flat the two surgeries have completely changed, shape, size, sensation and how it lays due to scar lines. Auxillary clearance is still numb under my arm with reduced or over sensitive sensation in my arm from shoulder to elbow. Vvvv weird.
Take it easy with lifting, grabbing things thats why the pillow is great - reminds you to not use your arm for the wrong thing but keep it moving. Hope you are managing a comfy sleep position. On my mind.
Hey @lumpybyebye I know what you mean about re-evaluating work. I’ve spent over 20 years working with children and young people with complex additional needs in different settings. I love it, but it’s very physical and I’m starting to wonder whether I can carry on in the same type of role. I really, really want to protect my arm after the axillary node clearance. The kind of work I do can involve lots of sudden movements or jerking/pulling on my arms, etc…
I laugh darkly to myself when I remember at the start of all this saying to Mr Dilly and a breast care nurse that I would be ‘all back to normal this time next year!’
Talking of bras, I got some of these. I think I’m the only person in October going flat, but it might be useful for someone from another month. They are amazingly comfortable, and because they are stretchy, the flat side also sits nicely without a prosthesis. I’m not sure how they would be for a lumpectomy as they don’t offer a lot of compression, but I was sent home from hospital in a binder for the first few days so they are working really well for me.
I have also just discovered that M&S do mastectomy bras for only £10…amazing, as I think it’s going to be trial and error to find the right bra, so much more affordable if they turn out uncomfortable/unsuitable.
@lumpybyebye What does the pre rads mark up involve do you know? And the actual radiotherapy? Sorry, I’m a bit clueless about it all because I was just focusing on getting through surgery and chemo. I’m hoping radio and the side effects will be minor compared to all that
I like your plan about work. I’ve also been thinking about dropping a day. Like you say, what is the point of going through all this crap to just work work work. A better work life balance is definitely needed. And no more planning at weekends (ie. working for free). I’ve promised myself that has to stop.
Like you said, I’ve heard that anyone with, or who has ever had, cancer are covered by the Equality Act and Disability Discrimination Act. And I know that part of that is making reasonable adjustments to working conditions. Is changing your contact / working hours permanently included in that do you know? I’m worried my head will say no to changing my hours permanently to part time.
That would screw with my mental health.
You are very brave at being open about how it feels physically and emotionally after surgery. The change in shape and new scars are hard to get use to. I hope you are getting on ok with the post surgery exercises. 
