Hi all I am quite dreading next month. In Oct 2009 I went on my first holiday alone after my marriage of 30 odd years broke up sometime earlier.I had got my act together and was enjoying life and living on my own. I had a brill holiday and returned to an appt for routine mammo in Nov ( 3 months earlier than anticipated. Yes BC and the rest chemo, surgery x 2, just finished rads. Think I may stay under the duvet next month. I do know ‘Think Pink’ etc and all the work BCC do is great but can’t bear the thought of having this ‘in my face for a month’.Thanks for reading. Love Jackie
Saj I did ask for this to be deleted and it was. After cyber conversations with mods re posted.Hope that answers the query. Jackie
Hi Jackie
why should you feel bad about posting your thread? Surely it is more than understandable to feel anxious about your first “anniversary” and dreading the month of October, because of associated memories. All I can say is I totally understand your feelings. We are all on a big rollercoaster us ladies suffering from bc: ups and downs all the way.
I hope you are not afraid of sharing your worries with family and friends. It helps to talk about it. Try to keep busy and treat yourself to something little every day. Also keep on reading posts on this thread. Knowing that there are other women out there facing the same terrifying ordeal, some with incredibly bravery (and sense of humour) can be a HUGE comfort.
But whatever you do don’t feel “guilty” for having negative feelings.
Take care and I hope you feel a bit better soon (some good weather would help, wouldn’t it??? 
Hugs
Lulu XX
If it’s any consolation I hate October as I was diagnosed in the first week of the month. It was completely out of the blue for me as I’d been told 4 weeks previously I didn’t have cancer as all the tests were clear. I just remember saying to the surgeon you couldn’t get away from as it was in every magazine and he just said “yes I know, unfortunately for you it is breast cancer month”.
I’m 4 years down the line and find myself feeling quite down in the lead up to it. The only thing I can come up with is to stay as busy as possible as a diversion from it.
Went round ASDA shopping with youngest son and every “tinkled pink” product we passed by he thought we ought to be buying because “Mum, you have Breast Cancer”. I find it personally quite hard right at the end of treatment to deal with it all, but, of course, I know how vitally important the fundraising is and every bit counts. Sending you all a big hug, anniversaries like this are so tricky to deal with. Breast Cancer Care is a lifeline, the June Forum was fantastic and I hope the campaign raises millions!!! Big hug to all. X
Hi ladies thanks for your encouraging thoughts/posts. Yes Cherub I see that this will not be the only Oct to be dealt with. Gosh what a shocker thinking you were OK then finding out differently. Tina might have to give Asda a wide berth but like you I know that the fund raising is so vital and I have truly benefited from all the work/publications/ help line etc etc that BCC do so I do not wish to sound ungrateful at all.I have 2 friends 15 and 17 years down the line from BC and they did not have the level of support that is available to us now.They are both doing really well too.Lulu thanks for your wise words. Love Jackie
It does start to get better the further you get away from it. I felt I had moved on a bit last October and after being a bit down at the weekend with the thought of October coming round again, I’m pretty much OK now as I’ve been busy all week with work (I’m writing copy for a driving instructor’s new website and as I don’t drive it’s not that easy lol!). I’m finding I’m not too concerned about my next mammo appointment coming in the post and I have a week off in November to look forward to.
Any diversion works, it’s just keeping the momentum going.