Offer of help from my lovely sister

Hi everyone

Bit of advice please.

I saw my oncologist yesterday as I have a suspected pulmanory embolsim (don’t think it is but having blood thining injections and CT scan to rule it out). I feel better now, not breathless and in no pain.

My oncologist said that I shouldn’t be going to work when on Chemotherapy. (White cell count currently as at 6pm last night 1.4 despite having blood boost injection after chemo last week).

I really need to work as we need the money but have actually been signed off for a month as my philbitis is so painful. I am only on ssp as my boss has stopped paying me which I can understand as he is self employed.

My lovely sister has that I can stay with her in Yorkshire while I have all my treatment of chemotherapy, radiotherapy and Herceptin. She doesn’t work and my brother and mum are in Yorkshire as well. My sister will take me to all my treatments and be on call when I end up in hospital like I did this weekend and have done once before.

There is only one problem, my husband who takes me to chemo doesn’t want me to go as he doesn’t like being on his own and thinks I should be with him and I know what he means but I want to go. My children are down here and in Stafford but they are 20, 21 and 24 and the two youngest live in their own apartments and my 24 year old lives with us at the moment.

My husband is a MD of a company and has complained about the time spent at the hospital, doesn’t sleep well because I don’t sleep well sometimes and fidgit at night. Me going to my sister’s would relieve him of all the hospital trips and allow him not to be stressed (which he is) and run the company without the days spent ferrying me back and forth and waiting up to 8 hours at the hospital.

Has anybody else had this experience. I know my sister, mum and brother would love me to be there and it is not for ever. Plus the blood boosting injections could be given by my brother (I can’t do it myself).

We are also moving next month and I would be going up to my sister’s anyway to be out of the way for a week.


So…you’ve got breast cancer. Your husband complains about the time it takes for you to get through your appointment days at the hospital for your treatment for this devastating disease. And doesn’t much like it when you sleep badly, as it disturbs him, and he’s a busy man. You thought about taking up the offer of family support, meaning you’d be away from home for a spell. And now he’s saying he doesn’t want to be left alone…
…send him over to me and I’ll have a word.

Thanks - you’ve made me chuckle.

How are you?

Tricky situation, because sometimes its nicer to be in your own bed and home (I know im better in my own house)… but when it comes to being looked after, it sounds like youd be well and truly looked after if you went to your sisters. Or maybe because she doesnt work, she could come and stay with you and look after you at your home when youre at your worse, then you could go up in your good week(s) and enjoy your time away up there and your husband join you at the weekends??
Youre lucky (like I am) to have a sister who loves you loads and wants to take care of you :slight_smile:

K x

Sounds like you have a lovely careing sister there and would have great support if you went to stay with her for a while, i def think you need to put your needs first right now and if you feel you would like to go then i would. Hubby will be fine im sure, your the important one at the minute .
All the best

hi , i think u hav got t do watever u feel u cud always just go 4 a while n see how it goes why were u in hospital they dont take u in just 4 low bloods do they. did u hav an infection or are thay checking ur bloods. rozita xxx

Hi Rozita

I went in because of chest pains and breathlessness. They thought it could be a PE (pulmanory embolism).as a matter of course my bloods were taken becaue i was in A and E.

How are you doing?

I think you should defintely go.Its lovely that your husband will miss you but he doesnt sound as if he has the time to give you the care you need just now.Go and let your family take care of you and let him come to you at weekends until your chemo is finished.
Of course you cant go to work!!!You are susceptible to every bug going.It will pass,all will be well,take care of yourself.
Love valxx

Hey mnc

Just out of curiosity…did you have a neulasta injection around 4 days ago?

…wondering as I had one the day after my last 3 Tax (on a Friday) and on the following Tuesday night I had horrendous chest pains & breathlessness. It followed the same pattern each time & only lasted 12 hours or so, but I got that I could sleep through it.

The first time I went to A&E after speaking to on call onc & everything came back fine. I know it was the neulasta as I didn’t have it with my 1st tax.


Hi Hayz

Yes, I did have a neulasta injection but last Saturday, 24 hours after my Chemo. It was meant to boost the white cell count but hasn’t as I am now 1.4. The injection is apparently £650.00.

I feel better now though.


Hi mnc,

Here are my thoughts for what they’re worth. It sounds to me like your husband is used to you doing everything for him and is mourning for the life you both had. Mine was very much like that and it was a battle to get him to understand that I simply wasn’t able to carry on as normal. My family wanted to help and he kept refusing and saying we could manage.

Does he have mother/father/siblings that you could ask to have a word? I found mine listened better when someone other than me put him straight. Eventually, when I reached the end of my tether it was an old family friend who did the trick.

It sounds as though you really need the rest your sister can provide. I hope things work out for you.

Jan xx

Hi mnc,

Hope you can work something out. Surely there has to be a compromise in their somewhere. Wish my sister was as supportive as yours. Get occassional phone calls, but had to elicit the last one as she openly admitted she had been avoiding speaking to me because she found me having to have mx too much to deal with! Excuse me, but who is the one having it and needing support!


Hayz and mnc - thats interesting hearing about your chest pains and breathlessness - I have neulasta injections daily for 5 days after each chemo (taxotere) and have palpitations, pounding heart and breathlessness which I do put down to the injections as its definatley worse around that time. I ended up in A+E one Saturday night a few weeks ago with chest pain & palpitations - tested for a PE - all tests ok. Heart problems arent listed in the drugs side effects, but im sure its due to them!

hi , u said ur sister lives in yorkshire im in york. sounds to me like uv made ur decision n just see how it goes. prop less stress 4 all of u. just had 1st neulasta injection on fri n chest felt strange last night great isnt it!!! its 1 long worry n a day at a time rozita xxxxx

Hi Rozita

My sister does live in Yorkshire and so did I went I went to school. We used to go to York quite often and I was there last year to have a walk around the ‘Shambles’ again which I love.

Spoke to the Halifax hospital today to ask if they do chemo and herceptin there and they do so I need to speak to my oncologist now to arrange everything.

If they don’t agree then I’ll probably go up and my lovely sister will bring me back three weeks later for my Chemo.

You never know I may see you in York one day.

What treatments are you going to have? I’m having 3 x FEC and 3 x taxotere, herceptin, radiotherapy and tamoxifen.


hi mnc, im on 4 EC n 4 TAX not sure why more had lumpectomy but had 2nd op cos found in 3 of 19 nodes. how many have u had iv just had 2nd EC on thurs not 2 bad this time bit spaced n hair cumin out badly despite coldcap. rozita xxxxx