Hi all Feeling a bit panicky tonight. Don’t know why. Got upset at bathtime again but managed to put the kids to bed. Hubbie has gone out to the gym - he needed it desparately. Sometimes I feel I am going to live for years, at other times, next week seems a long way off. Still doing better than this time last week when I was taking a sedative in hospital! Got my first chemo on Thursday and seeing my onc - not sure what to ask as I am not sure I am strong enough for the answers. I am finding I am really jealous of everyone else - especially when they get to see the children grown and I probably won’t. Still feels unreal. Thanks for all the words of encouragement tho’
This is very very early days, so it’s hardly surprising that you are feeling the way you are.
All of us cope with this in different ways some of us want all the information we can possibly get, some of us don’t and there are the toe dippers in between. There are no wrong responses.
What chemo are you having, - all the women on this site have been through various stages of bc and run the whole gamut of treatments, - there is an awful lot of knowledge on the site, which may get you through various phases of treatment.
The only advice I think we all would give is accept every offer of help you can.
Hi again Kirsty…I agree, so much, with Celeste’s post, it really is such early days for you. I have never asked the direct question ‘how long am I expected to live?’ I know so much depends on how I respond to various treatments and I’ve surprised myself that I feel so very well 6 years on from my mets diagnosis.
I choose to keep up to speed with information, well I try to, as I think, for me, knowledge is power and I’m lucky I have an Onc who discusses options with me and makes me feel I’ve had an input, a choice in treatments.
Some people don’t want to know too much, others want to know life expectancy and much more…whatever you feel comfortable with is right for you. And you can always ask more at a later date or decide not to seek further information if that suits you better.
Good Luck with your chemo…I hope it works really well for you.
Love Belinda…xxx
Kirsty I have just seen this post as I havent been on this site for a little while. I know exactly how you feel I can remember great waves of anxiety and feeling incredily sad when I was diagnosed. I am 50 and my daughter is 18, and I am finding it hard enough it must be desperately distressing at your age and with young children. But only 2 months on and I have gone back to work and have found some perspective and like you say some days I can laugh and enjoy the moment.
Hi I can’t tell you how much all your words have meant to me over the past week. I start chemo in a couple of hours time - I am having taxol weekly. I am feeling half positive that it is something to do to fight this thing and half really wanting to run away and be an ostrich with my head in the sand. The fact that all you have been here and a still wriggling (as we say in my house) means I feel strong enough to get through each day. I am getting there emotionally. Still upset and as you all say, that will happen from time-to-time anyway. Went out to the cinema yesterday evening with hubby, mum and friend and saw Julie and Julia which was really good idea - stopped me comtemplating my fate at home. Starting to get back to normal and accepting all and any offers of help as recommended by you, especially with the kids. A friend makes a meal once a week, my mum is staying with us tonight and tomorrow, mum-in-law has been sorting out my freezer and cooking up lots of family meals. Thank you all so much.
Kirsty x
Hope all goes as well as it can today. Listen to your body when you think you may need to rest do. Drink plenty of water and above all else try not to get constipated.
Love Debsxxx
Hi Kirsty
yes good luck starting the treatment - by the way I had the runs on taxol not constipation …but Debs is the forums resident expert on constipation - so you know who to turn to!!! Jayne
Hi just wanted to wish you luck with your treatment. At the beginning of August I was diagnosed with secondaries in the lung, liver, spine and hips.
Since starting treatment I feel a lot better (I am on taxol weekly, and herceptin and bone chemo every 3 weeks). My liver is still swollen but things are improving.
Like you I take hope in the fact that many people on these forums have had secondaries for years and are doing well, so hopefully we will be the same.
Hi Kirsty, Just wondered how you were doing really. I am on chemo at the moment and am rather tired a lot of the time. But I wanted to let you know that I was diagnosed with secondaries 10 years ago in my spine, ribs, sternum and pelvis. I have been having different treatments over this period, inluding bone stenghtening drugs, hormone blocking drugs and occasionally chemo. My prognosis was not good. I firat had BC 20 yeras ago when I was just 39, followed by secondaries 10 years later. But I am still here thanks to the advances of modern medicines…and I hope you will be here for years to come too, much love Val Xx( Scottishlass)
Hi
Just wanted to say how i empathise with you. I am 39 have two gorgeous boys age 13 and 10 and I look at them and wonder how they will cope when I die. I was diagnosed with secondaries in Feb this year (primary in June 2007) so not much of a break before my bad news.
I go to my oncologist too scared to ask questions as I cant face the truth.
I will say that life does take on a normality. It has to when you have young children. My boys dont know my caner has come back - I want them to enjoy life as long as we can before I have to break their hearts.
Hang in there.
MuddyXX