Hi
Bad day for the H today. I combed it before having a shower and at least a fifth came out in one go. Have been tearful all day about it.The worst thing is that it has all come out on the top so I have a monk like bald bit, tried to move my parting to the side to cover it a bit more but not very successful. Not really sure what to do, so I guess I will just sit it out and I expect the decision will be taken out of my hands. Top of my scalp feel tough and dry. Sides and back of my head are fine or perhaps I just cannot see the gaps in them! I think I feel more emotional because I am just getting the side effect of dose 2 and fell p…d off that I sat with the cold cap on for all those hours. It must be the shape of my head that it cannot come down flat enough I suppose. Lisa I have no loss of eye lashes or Dennis yet and still shaving under arms, although it is still numb which feels really odd.Will check out that site later but eyes weird if on here for long. I loved my wig when I got it so why am I so bugged about it now! I think I need to get out of this epi-head that has descended to be able to think properly
Have a nice weekend
Lily x
really sorry lily … it’s such a b*mmer that we can’t all look how we want to … don’t blame your head - sometimes it just doesn’t work …
if i were you i’d have a rest and think about it later - if you loved your wig when you got it then it must look lovely … it takes some adjustment to actually wearing it …
perhaps the thing to do is put it on next time you’re feeling better and remind yourself of how nice it looks …
when the time comes to say “see you later” to the hair then it’s going to be emotional - so don’t worry about that - but don’t forget that when it comes back it will probably be far better than before!!!
hope you feel better soon
love fizbix xxxx
Fiz
thanks sweet, just what I needed. getting there slowly, the world looks better every day
Lily x
Lily,
I’m so sorry to hear about your hair.I understand how you must feel as I am more bothered about that than the BC thing.I know it doesn’t make sense,but it is probably just something to focus on so that we don’t think too much about the BC and the effects of the drugs etc.I haven’t decided whether to go for my usual shoulder lenght look with the wig,or something different.Will rely on the advice of my fab mate!
Hey Lily
We can start up a new order of monks as I sport the very same look!
I’ve said before that I hate it but it does become a bit easier to cope with, believe me. As I’m half a cycle ahead of you keep using me as your guinea pig! My hair has been cut to about 1cm all over, but it seems to grow as well as fall out?! I haven’t decided to shave it off yet as I’m expecting major fall out this week (in line with what happened after 1st FEC) and will deal with it as and when so I don’t think you need to decide anything until you’re ready. Going gradually shorter has definitely helped me to deal with my hair loss. At home I wear some soft head covers, sort of like a wide hairband but covered at the back. In fact my younger daughter says she prefers me in these to my wig. This makes me feel good about how I look at home as I still have hair peeping out at the front (I kept my fringe a bit longer than the rest). I have got used to wearing my wig to go out to work or shops etc where I don’t want to be stared at. If you were happy with your wig when you 1st got it (as I was) I expect you’ll feel fine about wearing it when the time comes. It takes a bit of getting used to and I can only bear it for a few hours but it does help with the old confidence. I just have to remember to ‘wig up’ when I go out! I expect you’re feeling really low about this whole thing due to just having had you chemo etc but I felt it gave me time to adjust to the lack of hair as during the 1st 5 days or so I didn’t go anywhere so got used to the fact before I had to go out into the big wide world. Once you’re over the steroids and feeling more ‘up’ maybe you won’t feel so bad about things but I definitely agree that it brings the reality of this horrible disease back when you’re dealing with all the extra cr*p it throws at you like hair loss etc.
I hope this helps and I hope you get over these next few days soon and feel better about things. I know I’ll be feeling the same next weekend when you are all on the ‘up’ so look forward to that - you feeling better, not me feeling awful 
Take care
Nicky x
Hi FizBiz
Excitement indeed on the H front! Have you preserved the little (big) rascal or is it still firmly attached to your head? In that case nuture it, it may be the start of something new!
I have the same fluffy baby look that I think you have and am also considering a trimette next week or just wait for it to all fall out which is probably the most likely thing to happen. This hair lark it very odd. I expected it to all go pretty quickly after my 2nd FEC as I didn’t cold cap it but it’s still there and going strong with hardly any drop out. Mind you I remember saying this last time so I expect I’ve jinxed it again. Expect to read that I’m now Kojak in the next few days. Am I the only one wishing for a fairly cool summer so I can cover my head up with wigs or scarves etc and not get boiling hot? The cooler days are so much nicer to us! Roll on an Indian Summer.
Nicky x
Hi all,
I went wig shopping yesterday, to three different places in London, and I have to say, it was the most depressing thing I’ve done in all of this. I absolutely hated them, and just couldn’t find what I wanted. One nice chap is going to look for what I want (my sort of short style with purple highlights - if I’m going to do this, I want to smile about it), but I don’t hold out much hope… it’s down to scarves and hats for me. What I really want is that huge hat Samantha wears in Sex and the City 
I did try the cold cap, but lasted about 10 mins before I had a really thumping headache - hats off to you girls who manage to wear that!
So… I’m preparing to get my OH get his clippers out. The question is when to do it - I feel like I want to take my hair off, not chemo, so I might just get it over with this week before the next round of chemo.
The weird thing this week was that after shaving my legs before chemo last monday, the hair on my toes is growing really strongly! That’s just going to be my luck isn’t it. I’ll lose it on my head, and keep it on my toes so my feet look horrid in sandals lol.
Take care everyone,
Caron x
Hi Caron
If I were you I’d wait until you have a serious moult before you clipper it off - I came very close to shaving my head so that at least “I did it” but it never all fell out in the end … well not yet (6 down 2 to go) … cutting it short would be a very good idea though love FB xxxx
Hi
thank you everyone for holding me up through my mini crisis. I think I forgot how life has changed but it need not all be bad, plenty of good things to do and see yet. Nicky, my you are the best guinea pig ever to follow! Thank you, you are always exactly in the know, being at that point just ahead of me, I hope you get support back too when you need it. I love the monk order, first chuckle I have had about this bit.
Now I am determined to cheer up as I can feel the fog lifting, although a giant poo would probably bring me more relief!! Sorry could not resist that one. It was a strange Fathers Day as it is the first that neither my husband or I had a Dad to visit, although our big family all roared round to see him and make a fuss, which he deserves. My Mum was taken ill last night and thought she was having another stroke and I just couldn’t do anything so felt totally useless. All calmer this morning as usual but too much drama for a chemo week. Well the week is definitely going to go up hill now and I hope everyone else is ok and having the nice happy spell you all deserve. If I am even once the tiniest bit of help you have been, I will have done something good
Hugs
Lily x
Lily you are always a huge help - hope you mum is okay too! Hows the hair? I must admit I liked my wig a bit at first and now dont - its the hassle of wearing it and the fact i dont look like me. Went to a BBQ yesterday and didnt realise how many people would be there and and just had to wear a hat as a gust of wind and you can see the braiding bits at the back.
Here’s to a more cheery week with lots of loo stops and nice food
xxx
p.s Fizbix - congrats on the hair front!
Hi Lily200: You are a week ahead of me with the epi so I have my second one tomorrow. My head was soooo sore last week - untouchable - so I knew something was about to happen. The hair is falling out nicely now, think it will be gone by the end of this week if not before - my pillow is horrible in the morning! Bought a Raquel Welch wig via NHS and everyone says it looks great - even people who don’t realise, so let’s hope for the best. It does feel strange though.
Had a good run for the first epi - no real side effects apart from sore throat for which I had antibiotics but if I get that again may try to do without as they make everything taste even fouler than the chemicals.
God this is a brutal way to treat this disease - I am sure in ten/fifteen years time people wil be saying “did we really do that!!!” but I guess it is the best on offer and we have just got to put up with it.
Hope you are feeling better now you are a week in.
Love to all, keep well - find things to laugh about - v. important.
Julia
Hi thanks everyone,
I am now in that funny stage whan you look back, knowing everything is ok. Mum much better (had pleurisy and cystitis), Fathers Day gone, even had a brain wave and put my parting so far on the side I have enough for a combover and laughed about it. So now wondering why I did not stay calm and just think it will be ok? Hindsight is such a comfortable thing to have. I have decided to do nothing about my hair until a decision becomes obvious. Combover will not last long and is decidely dodgy in windy weather. Elderly neighbour told me he loves me and that he has not noticed my hair but only looks into my eyes - WHAT!! Now kisses me on the cheek every time he sees me, so no worry about the weather and combover any more, just looking for disguises and a fast exit. Hope this story brought at least one person a chuckle, I am sweating being out of condition and unable to run very fast and it is uphill too!
Carrieann I had a sore throat with the first one but it responded to Difflam mouthwash so started it early this time and didn’t get it again.It was the mucous membranes yuk. Hope you are ok with number 2, see you back happy soon.
Hey Lisa are you on the meringues yet, I have dozens, everybody keeps bringing them now I have talked about them so much. Yes things are looking good Are we back on the town again?
Hugs to poor people who are off in the other direction. What did we do to deserve this?
Lily x
Sitting here watching bits of hair float on to keyboard…goodbye TinTin quiff, goodbye wee Mohican…didn’t last long but I enjoyed your company!
Weetricia, you’re so right, Daphne Broon is the look for 2008!
Lily, loved your story about the neighbour. Only a couple of weeks ago I climbed an 8 foot wall to avoid similar circumstance. Not bad for a middle-aged bird wi a Mohican!
Stay well, all,
L
Hi Lily
That definitely made me chuckle! Better change you wig for something more drastic then he may not recognise you if you have to wear it - what about a punk look or the above mentioned (natural) mohican? Despite hating my lack of hair I also had a laugh to myself in the mirror with my short combover - it’s very middle aged man! Not a good look on them let alone us beautiful women LOL. A tip for the combover - stand the ‘right’ side of the wind - you don’t want a temporary lift off do you?
As with Lanterna I don’t think it will be here much longer as it’s dropping like crazy. Maybe I can leave most of it in the chemo suite like I did last time - then they can clean it up ;-), after all they’re the ones causing it!
Glad to see you’re feeling much better - I can tell from your posts - they get funnier the better you get!
I’m off for chemo later, fun, fun, fun, so may be a bit quieter on here for a few days but I do read the posts, they are a great source of support, help and advice.
Ta ta for now, and good luck chemo buddies for this week
Nicky x
Hi everyone,
I’m following FizBix’s advice and will wait until it starts to drop before I hack it off properly. I’ve been lucky so far and not a hair (more than normal) has come out. I’m sure that saying that is jinxing it though and it won’t be long! I *love* your TinTin quiff and mohican idea Lanterna, I think I’ll do similar when it comes to me - after all, how often does a middle aged woman get the chance to have shapes cut into her hair? (I did have a mohican once, but that was 25 years ago lol)
Does anyone else run their fingers through their hair to test it and see whether it’s coming out yet? I can’t resist doing it, even though my OH tells me to stop it!
Yours, Hairy of North London
Hi Lily: Thanks for the Difflam thing - will try that - so far OK but it’s only Thursday - had epi on Tuesday.
Love the comments about the combover and the ancient admirer. I cut my long bits off last weekend and now have tufts of red hair about inch long - look like a baby orang-utan we saw in Jersey Zoo a couple of years back - first time my husband has more hair than me. Never mind the Raquel looks good - have just bought another version from the States on offer at £50 rather thatn £135 here and no duty as it is deemed to be medical supplies for cancer patients. There have to be some upsides.
I’m feeling great today - had good night’s sleep - got drugs done early and cocoa before bed - how aging is that.
Let’s all keep going and making each other laugh - that is soooooo important!
Love to all
Julia
XX
Hi all - I have been chuckling …!!! - it’s when we get no admirers we should be worried … !
Hairy of North London - i spend ALL NIGHT on the sofa feeling my head - especially to see if I can feel any baby prickly ones at the roots - it’s almost like ape-like behaviour … I have NEWS … after the trimmette you can definitely see less head than before … AND the hair is a bit stronger - verified by the professional … apparently if it is going to go curly now is too soon to know … in my heart I know that despite my wiishes it will be straight - I have the evidence in the bath …
… so a step in the right direction … let’s hope it can get through 2 more Tax and immune building injections … the very very wierd thing is that I said to the hairdresser “well I won’t be seeing you for a bit” and then I realised that I’m kind of attached to how I look now and quite honestly don’t think I can take any more changes !!! … so I may KEEP it like this for a bit (barring the bog brush effect) … how strange is that and where did that come from??? … for some reason the THOUGHT of growing my hair is now scary … mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm …
anyway - off now!
lots of love
FB xxxx
omg - i have just noticed a moustache!!! - and not being ni the sun it’s VERY DARK!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Hi Ladies,
I’m back in the land of the living.Actually I’ve been back for 2 days,but have been out eating and drinking with my mates.Went for the wig on Tuesday with a really good friend.We had a great afternoon with me trying on some inappropriate wigs and settling on a sensible shoulder length one that looks natural.However,I’m pleased to say that I have far too much hair to even consider using it yet.Hurrah! I do hope the cold cap works.My Daphne Broon look is improving every day.I needed to have my fringe cut even though I only had my hair chopped off 3 weeks ago.It’s always been like weeds in the summer.At least I feel prepared if it all falls out overnight.I was sick as a pig for 5 days.Yeeugh! I finally have my appetite back,but don’t seem to have lost any weight.Probably because I’ve been lolling around asking hubby and kids to feel sorry for me cos I’m worth it!
My legs and armpits are pretty hairy which is not normal for me.I think the chemo seems to have gone into reverse and I soon expect to resemble a yeti! I keep telling folk I’m unique!
How are you all this week?
Tricia
xxx
Hi,
Yes it is me with the dark sunglasses on. Well he managed to get both arms round me and kiss me today. I was just concentrating on turning my head violently the opposite away to avoid getting caught out on the choppers, you know when someone goes to do the 2 kiss and tricks you by going the wrong way and get you in the middle. I am not ready to experience the full false teeth effect just yet, BC is enough for one woman to bear. I think I am going to have to take a reflux tablet before bed now, just reliving the moment in my head! There is no way I can make an 8 foot wall, much too short!
Hugs to you Nicky, hurry back up from that dark hole.
X to everyone
Lily