One Year On From Finding My Lump

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Well here I am – 1 year on from discovering my ‘lump’ and the start of ‘My Journey’ on what has undoubtedly been the toughest year of my life. During the past 12 months I have lost count of the various appointments I have had with my GP, the West Suffolk Hospital and the BMI Hospital in Bury St Edmunds, the Norfolk & Norwich University Hospital and Addenbrooke’s in Cambridge, as well as the number of hours spent, and the countless miles hubby and I have travelled. My treatment is not finished yet as I still have another 11 doses of herceptin to be administered at 3 weekly intervals with the next one being on Wednesday 14th of March. This entails a 6 hour appointment as I have to be ‘reloaded’ due to having to have my treatment halted whilst I recover from my recent operation at Addenbrooke’s. The cyst that was removed was picked up on my routine CT scan and was found to be of no significance but getting over, what I have been told, was major surgery is taking some time. It was not associated with the breast cancer, and may have remained with me forever without ever causing a problem, but better out than in for my peace of mind. Although Addenbrooke’s would have discharged me, they gave me the option of returning in a year’s time for a CT scan which I have opted for. I will remain under the care of the West Suffolk Hospital for a number of years yet, even after my herceptin treatment has finished this autumn, but at least my appointments will eventually be spaced at longer intervals than I am currently accustomed to.

Over the past year I have witnessed a side of life that I was previously ignorant of, and I have been humbled by the kindness shown to me by my family, friends and colleagues as well as the medical profession. I was accompanied to theatre at Addenbrooke’s by a nurse who was undergoing chemotherapy herself and she was just beginning to lose her hair. I had to laugh when she told me that she thought that I had a ‘funky hair style’, but then the pair of us were in tears when she told me that her cancer had spread to her bones. No matter how tough a blow you think you have been dealt, there is always somebody undergoing far worse than yourself.

I have met so many lovely people along the way, and made so many new friends too, which is a positive outcome I wasn’t expecting.

So it is now 1 year on, and hopefully my life will soon return to its normal boring, hum-drum routine, and that is just the way I want it to be. Maybe not quite as normal as it was a year ago, but at least with a focus on things other than my treatment.

What I have learned over this year is that we must do things now whilst we have the time and the ability to do so, instead of putting them off, for sometimes tomorrow never comes. Too often daily life and work get in the way of what we would prefer to be doing with our time and energies. I have decided that from now onwards I will make a real effort to find the time to see the people in life who really matter to me, and to do all the things that I really want to do.

So to all of you who may just be starting out on your ‘Journey’ please remember that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and no matter what treatment you have to endure you will meet it head on and come out the other side. I have had a mx with reconstruction, 3 FEC and 3 Docetaxel chemo sessions, 15 radiotherapies, a portacath inserted, herceptin as well as my recent op so the ‘Full Monty’ for me as far as my treatment is concerned.

It is ‘doable’ and if I can do it, then I am sure that you can too.

With much love

Mazzalou xxx

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Hi Mazzalou

You were just a bit behind me in treatment - but I think we had similar. I had my surgery in Bury, but my follow up chemo and rads in Shropshire…

It’s a long old haul isn’t it? I don’t have herceptin and I was heartily glad when it was all finished. In Jan I had my one year mammo on the remaining boob (all OK) and that’s me done until next year. The only appointment I have to make is to see my PS for a check up in Bury sometime in the summer. Fancy a coffee?

Good luck and take care
Dx

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Hi DJ007

Yes, coffee would be great if we can organize something. I had my mx on April 18th in Bury where I also had chemo and have my herceptin. My rads were done at the Norfolk & Norwich University Hospital as the West Suffolk Hospital is not big enough to have a unit there. I am back there on 8th May to see my PS, but because of herceptin I still have my 3 weekly appointments until this autumn. Do you have your appointment date yet?

By the way, is your photo post chemo? When was your last chemo as wondering how long it has taken your hair to look like your photo?

Mazzalou x

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Hi Mazzalou

I haven’t made my appointment yet. My surgeon’s clinics are usually on a Thurs evening, so I drive across on the Thurs and then stay at my sister’s in Sudbury and/or a friend’s in Ipswich for the weekend. I think that June looks like a good time (if he’s not on hol) either the 2nd or 3rd week.

I’ll make my appointment in the next week or two and then pm you my email/mobile and we’ll see what we can sort out.

Yes the photo is post chemo - I finished FEC-T in July last year and the photo was taken in Feb. I had my first proper post chemo trim last week - just to try and give it a bit more shape. I’m getting used to the curls - it was dead straight before!

Dx

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Did you have your op at the West Suffolk or the BMI in Bury as confused over your mention of an evening clinic?

I had my last chemo at the end of September so a good couple of months behind you which probably explains the difference between your hair length and mine. I guess mine must be at least an inch long now so don’t know if that sounds about par for the course if I will be 6 months post-chemo by the end of March. Mine is still dead straight but sooo much darker than I remember (apart from the grey that is!) It is so soft too, and seems to be growing in the opposite direction than I used to style it. Becuase it is so short and soft I can’t do anything with it just yet either colur wise or style wise so hope that it gets a spurt on now that spring has sprung!

Look forward to hearing from you, and having that cuppa too!

Mazzalou x

ps Just in case you are wondering - No that isn’t a photo of me and my hair, recent or otherwise!!!

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Hi

I was at the BMI - lucky enough to have health insurance through work, which was why I was able to change areas relatively easily.

Dx

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Hi ladies,

Today it is exactly one year since I was dx with BC, not sure how I feel, sort of very mixed feelings, trying to remember what my life was like before the dx, I was happier but stressed, oh and i had a lot more hair (although that is growing back now), it is weird to think dealing with this s%*t for a year and it has passed so quickly, not thinking about it nearly as much as in the beginning but still is not out of my mind totally don’t suppose it ever will be but I do have a lot to be grateful for and I have learned a lot about myself and how I relate to others, still facing challenges daily and trying to workout what to do with the rest of my life, I really hope I get there and find what it is I’m to do.

Before all of this I was the stereotypical tortured artist trying to make a name for myself (with very little success) working very hard doing ‘normal’ job on nightshifts to pay my way, drifting for what seemed like years, everything was so career focused, I had a plan to get my art career off the ground then to have children, part of that plan will never become a reality for me as I am now in early menopause all thanks to chemo/tamoxifen, so children are out of the question, this is a big regret, one of my friends suggested I adopt something I would dearly love to do but have BC secondaries and don’t think I would be allowed to adopt also is it really ‘right’ or 'fair’given that my life expectancy might not be that long, of course no one knows how long anyone is going to live but its something that constantly crosses my mind.

Sorry for the way this post sounds a bit sad, but it is sad, very very sad, like I said I am truly grateful for everything I have and for the most precious gift of all my life, but that does’nt stop me from grieving for the life I might of had.

Love and congratultions to all survivors
Sarahlouise
xxxxx

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Hi DJ007

I had my treatment at the West Suffolk Hospital but my PS now also works at the BMI too so wonder if you will get to see her - she is brilliant if you do. I had my bone density scan carried out at the BMI - apparently they have the necessary equipment and the West Suffolk arranges for the scan to be carried out there on their behalf. Apparently the chemo treatment for breast cancer patients can make you susceptible to osteoporosis so I was offered the bone density scan which I took - all ok I’m pleased to say.

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Poor you Sarahlouise - you do sound very miserable, and I guess from what you say about not being able to have children that you must be fairly young. Maybe adoption could be right for you, but I don’t think just yet as you need your life to be more stable than it has been of late. Given the last year you have had, and the major upheaval and blow that it has dealt you,I think that one year on you need some ‘me’ time and lots of TLC yourself before you even think about giving out TLC yourself.

Perhaps now will be a positive turning point in your life - lets hope so and whatever you decide to do with the rest of it I’m sending you my best wishes

Mazzalou xxx