I found out yesterday that my best friend has been diagnosed with BC. Although the details are still sketchy to me she has told me that she has 2 tumours in her breast and will be stating chemo on friday. In my “what can i do to help” i thought i would try and see if there were online groups of other women in their 20s who are going or have gone through this. I am still unsure whether she will use it as not sure yet really how she will deal with it all, but would like to give her any information that I find. Would be great to hear from anyone…
Welcome to the forums, I am sure some of the other users will be along soon to offer you advice and support about your friend. Whilst you are waiting for their response you may find it useful to read the Breast Cancer Care booklet on ‘Younger women with breast cancer’. It can be found by going to the following link:-
So sorry to hear about your friend. i am 27 myself and have just finished 6 FEC followed by rads which ended 2 weeks ago. I have found this website a great help before during and after all the surgery, chemo, rads etc.
treatment for BC varoes from person to person depending on what type of casncer size of tumor etc. by the sound of it your friend is having chemo to start with to shrink tumors. do you know what type of chemo?
i had my surgery first, followed by chemo.
the chemo was given every 3 weeks, i started to notice a pattern of feeling ill for a few days and then my energy would start pick up and i would feel ok… just in time to go back again for the next chemo. What i can say is throughout my chemo friends and family were great, the love really gets you through. it is importatnt to plan days out or things to do on your ‘good days’. you and your friend may find it helpful to find some support groups in you area.
I also found through chemo that it was important to drink a lot of water to keep flushing out the toxins.
i also found it help ful to keep a small note book with me in my bag and beside my bed as you can jot down anything you may want to ask the consultant.
i really wish your friend all the best for her treatment and recovery. i know along the way there are lots of issues and questions raised about topics you woiuld never usually have to think of, ut this website is great.
Hi Jo
I am so so sorry to hear that you friend has been diagnosed with Bc, I was diagnosed in September 05 at the aged of 24, I had a mastectomy and reconstruction followed by 7 months of chemotherapy 5 weeks of radiotherapy Herceptin for 1 year and am just on Tamoxifen now for 5 years It has been a long two years.
I guess being so young when diagnosed was hard as you feel very along you feel like you are the only young person going through it, I felt very isolated. Having this bc site has been fantastic I found many other young women with breast cancer some who were as young as 19. I hope in time your friend will use the site as any worries she has or questions she wants help with people are always here to help it is fantastic. When I was first diagnosed I spent hours on here every day as I could talk to people on here and I found it hard to talk to my friends and family as they did not know what I was going through.
The only advice I can give to you is be there for your friend she has a very tough time a head and all the support she can get will help her, many of my friends were great at first but then began never ringing me and asking how I was the problem with cancer is it is a a long term illness and people forget that, they think once the operation and treatment are over then the person is fine but after all that that is they need people around that care and have time for them, having a diagnoses it does not always sink in till a long time after all treatment has finished.
I wish your friend all the very best and just to let you know there is all another breast cancer site and on it I have set up a younger womens forum we have 65 users all under the age of 35 so if your friend or any other younger women on here would like to join please do. Once you have registered you can join the group (Babes of the bunch)
The web address is www.phpbbserver.com/breastcancer
Love Clairemm x x x
Well 6 months on and my best mate has finished her chemo and is going in for surgery on tuesday. Great news is that the tumours have reduced slightly so instead of mastectomy she is just having the lumps and surronding tissue removed. Also getting herself a nice pair of DDs at the same time! Have lokoked at a few websites about advice for her post surgery but thought would see what advice others that have been through it have. She is also having lymph nodes out and has been told she will have a drain?! although not too sure for how long. Any ideas how long she will be in serious pain for…anything you didnt realise you would not be able to do after surgery? Suggestions on sports bra/granny bras/no bra after surgery? Any tips any of you have would be great…
I’m 30 and had a lumpectomy, all lymph nodes out in Nov.
Her drain will stay in until she drain less than a certain amount a day, for me it was 30mls and the colour of the fluid should not be red, but a yellow straw colour. That shows the wound is drying up. I had to stay in for a week, they let me out for the day here and there and I could pretty much come and go as I please. I was in a ward with loads of older folk and thought I would go mad in hospital.
When I woke up from surgery I thought I’d been hit by a bus, but they sorted that out straight away with morphine. After that it was ok. I had sharp shooting pains down my arm when they had cut nerves during the lymph nodes removal and the back of my arm is now completely numb. It was difficult to move to begin, make sure she sees a physio before she leaves hospital and DO THE EXERCISES… they help lots.
I found I needed a bra, but not lacey one, a granny bra might be a good idea, or one of those vests with a secret support bit in it would be good too. My mum got me a sports bra, but I found it hellish to get on and off with my wound.
Is she having all lymph nodes out or just a sample of them.
I opted for just a sample and have recovered very quickly actually. I’m 7 weeks on and have almost full mobility, have been throwing frisbee for the dog in the last week. But as I only had a sampling taken (4 from each side, I had bilateral mastectomy ie both breasts removed) I don’t think I had as much healing to do.
I’m 33 and I believe us younger ladies do recover faster generally.
hi jojo
i found great sports bras in primark that fasten at the back,so easier to get on/off.i also bought bra extenders from la senza they cost £6 for three and the bras were only £4 each. i am now 7 weeks post surgery and still find them the comfiest.
hope everything goes well for yr pal. she is really lucky to have u there.
best wishes to u both
maria
I was allowed home with my drain still attached and had a district nurse call by and check it. It got removed after about 4-5 days. I really didn’t want to go out of the house during that time but was fine once it was out.
I had bad neck shoulder pain the following week and had to go for some better painkillers but apart from that the exercises sorted things.
I am older than your friend but had lumpectomy and node sampling in late January. My drain was only in overnight. My drain went into a plastic bottle which was tied to the bed with a sort of cable tie thingy… I got up for the loo, came back, re-attached the bottle to the bed then forgot and walked to the end of the bed to straighten the sheets!
I was lucky that my Mam came to stay and look after me when I came home from hospital … she was a sort of housekeeper/nurse nancy for 10 days.
I opted not to wear a bra for a couple of days after surgery - not a mjor problem for me cos I am only a B cup. I’ve read about ppl who swear by the hidden support vests from M&S.
After they have guddled about with the lymph nodes you end up with a bit of a heavy arm so things like pouring a kettle and taking stew pots out of the oven are out for a little while… easily solved by getting someone else to cook and make coffee.
I also discovered that I needed someone to wash my hair (I didn’t have chemo so still had mine).
The funniest thing for me was the day after my op when I came home and was asked what I wanted for dinner … I requested pork chops, never thinking… Mam and son started tucking in and I sat there with knife and fork but couldn’t cut the chop… I decided against steak when we went out for dinner a few nights later.
Thank you all so much for your advice…passed it on to my friend. Happyto say she is recovering amazingly well and was out after 2 days. Here new boobs look great and really lifted her spirits…have to say the list of things she is not to do following the lymph nodes being removed is very long though…dont think any of us realised what an important role they played…
Glad to hear that your friend is recovering well. It’s amazing the things that you are not allowed to do once they’ve whip away our lymph nodes isn’t it … who would have thought your armpit was such an important place.