Only three days to the Appointment - and feeling guilty too!

I have managed to detach myself alot from my appointment on Thursday at the Breast Clinic. But today I am starting to feel really nervous.

I also feel guilty because before I had this scare my mind was totally focused on my mum’s breast cancer but now this seems to be at the front of my mind. I still contact my mum every other day to make sure she is ok, and see her at least once a week. I spoke to her today and I asked her how she is dealing with the Letrazole and all she would say is she is fine and changed the subject. I do think she is coping wonderfully with all of this, and maybe even if I had not had the scare myself I would have calmed down regarding fussing around her. The first four weeks I was ringing her at least twice a day to “check in” to make sure things were ok. Not quite sure what I expected to be happening from one hour to the next, but that is what I did. Maybe what I am feeling is normal now since I have accepted my mum has breast cancer and feel positive she will be cured.

I have been told that the clinic I am going to is the one stop clinic, what does that mean exactly, and is there a good chance I will walk away knowing one way or other.

Thanks

J xx

hi jules
one stop means u will get mammogram,scan and fine needle asperation fna done, i dont no where u live but in scotland it takes a week for results. but people i no, including me have been told at the time whether or not it is a tumour or calcification. hope u find out asap and get some peace of mind. hows yr mum and daughter doing.
loads a luck
maria

ps jules just read post on other thread, where in scotland r u from

Please don’t feel guilty for thinking of your own situation more and your mum’s situation not so much. It is natural to get nervous about going to the clinic, this is your health. I expect that your Mum is worried about you too.

It’s bad enuff when one person in a family has a health issue but when there are more than one it’s a whole lot worse.

Good luck for Thursday and I will cntinue to hope that in your case it’s ‘just a cyst’ as the saying goes.

Hi there thanks Maria and Lilac for your good wishes.

Lilac thanks for making me feel like what I am thinking/feeling is normal. It’s just when I was on the phone to her today I felt really guilty that my appointment was brought up before the subject of her bc, and quickly asked her how things were going, as was worried she might think I wasn’t interested, which could not be further from the truth.

Maria, My mum is doing well and seems to be coping marvellously with everything that has been thrown at her. She will go back on the 7th May which is two weeks time to find out if the tumour has shrunk. My sister is getting married next week, all very quick, not that she has too lol but she decided it was time to do it and wanted to wait until my mums treatment was stable. My mum has been talking about dresses etc. and I think that has helped take her mind of things to be honest.

My daughter is very up and down. She has joined a site with forums like this and seems to find that helps. We shall see.

Oh and I was born in Glasgow many years ago, and lived in Bishop Briggs in the late sixties. I now live in Kent.

How are both of you today.

Hugs J xxx

hi jules,
i have relatives who have lived in bishopbriggs forever, the orrs, wullie and alice they have about hundred kids,all grown up now.enjoy the wedding,make sure u get something nice to wear. im sure yr daughter will find using the forums relating to her issues a big help.
maria

I will ask my parents if they know the orrs!!! lol I don’t know if I will be going to the wedding as it is mid week and because it is such notice not sure if I can get the time of work, will have to wait and see. Thanks for your kindness Maria. xxxx

phone in a sicky as we say in scotland ha ha

lol I wish I could but I do temp work and its through various agencies and I have a reputation for being very reliable! xx

do u have a lap top,then u could buy a big bag,sneak it in and do yr work during the speaches. just another idea. u need to remember my brain has been frazzled with over 7 months worth of chemo so it doesnt think very logical most of the time.

lol ha ha you are funny, that did make me giggle! I will try and go to the wedding but the laptop idea made me smile. xxx

Hi Jules

I’m in scotland too - on the south west coast - I was also referred to a one stop clinic - I got my results within 30 minutes of the last test, the FNA. I know from other postings on here that others aren’t so lucky with this type of speed - but hopefully you will not have too long to wait.

Good luck for thursday

take care

margaret x

Thank you Magz, I just want thursday to come and it be over with.

xx

Two more days to go and I am getting so nervous now. Just want Thursday out of the way. If the doctor decides it’s nothing to worry about will they still do a biopsy thing? Is that general practise these days?

I am not working this week, as do temp work and felt I didn’t need any added stress. I spent yesterday doing lots of houswork but trod on something sharp and my foot is really sore now. It’s annoying as I have Salsa tonight, and my heart isn’t really in it but know I must go to try and keep my mind of my appointment.

A big part of me is expecting the lump to be nothing, I am so not prepared if it turns out to be Cancer, is this a bad thing?

J x

Hi Jules
I’m not working this week either, my appointment is tomorrow so I know how you’re feeling… I’m wondering if it’ll get as far as the biopsy side of things or if I’m lucky enough to be told it’s nothing go home and chill out! Sorry to hear about your foot, don’t you find that when you’re mind is on something so intensely that you end up being really clumsy and accident prone?! I’ve been a bit like that this week!
Anyway, I’m hoping to join the 9 out of 10 group so fingers crossed you’ll be joining too!
Best wishes and good luck for thursday
Jx

Thank you so much for your message Jo, you will be going through exactly the same emotions as me. Do you want them to say it’s nothing and go home without the biopsy or would you prefer even if they think it’s nothing they do one anyway. The reason I am asking that is because I am torn between the two, part of me (the bigger part) wants to be told to go home its nothng and the second part (smaller) feels like even if they think it’s nothing that I want a biopsy, because as we have read recently, especially with Kylie that they can sometimes get it wrong!

What a dilema eh!

Good luck with tomorrow and please let me know how you get on tomorrow evening as I will be thinking about you.

Jx

I’m just like you! I don’t ‘want’ the biopsy but would definitely feel a lot more reassured if it was fully tested. You hear so many stories of people sent home only to find out later on that it wasn’t an innocent lump… I’ve decided to name mine ‘Larry’ in the hope it’s a lamb of a lump… hoping it doesn’t turn into ‘Leo’ a roaring lump tomorrow! Oh the things that go through my mind! You gotta laugh hey!

Big hugs to you Jules - we’ll be fine :slight_smile:

Jx

Hi ladies

Just reading your threads regarding biopsy. If you have a palpable lump you will almost certainly get a biopsy as its part of the triple test. I had a normal mammogram and ultrasound, but abnormal biopsy, so I am glad they did all three. However, if there is no lump, I am not sure what they will do??

Hi Cathy
I’ve a definite lump so guess that’s biopsy for me then - It feels the size of a tennis ball to me but my other half has assured me it’s more of a grape! Hoping it’s just a cyst that can be drained tomorrow then Larry the lump will be no more…
Jx

They should be able to give you the results there and then tomorrow. My biopsy took 15 mins for results and actual biopsy is so painless, you won’t believe they use a needle! Good luck for tomorrow.

Cathy
xx