Hi I would be grateful for any thoughts or opinions please
I have lobular BC with lymph node involvment in one breast. I begin chemo on Friday to shrink the cancer and am told I will have lumpectomy with lymph op following this.
I seem to have a different point of view to others here in that I really do not care about having breasts and feel strongly atm that I would prefer both breasts removed and I dont feel the need for reconstruction either.
Having read some threads here I can see that for some ladies this would seem unthinkable but for me I just dont want to have to think that it could return or to be worrying about lumps I am a worryer and doubt I would ever stop thinking that it would come back if the breasts were still there.
I have always had big boobs and was fien with that at 54 I simply do not feel I need breasts to be me…if that makes sense. My hubby is 100% with me in this.
I cant see past wanting them gone, I cant see any use for them, they are not like eyes or legs that I feel I need?!
can anyone tell me if they have made this decision and how they feel about it now?
and is it likely to be difficult to convince my consultant to offer me double mastectomy?
Hi - I had invasive ductal carcinoma grade 3 in my right breast and lymph node involvement. I had 8 cycles chemo and was told that would have a lumpectomy and lymph node clearance after that. From the start I said I wanted a double mastectomy. When the time came to meet the surgeon consultant after chemo he was again suggesting a lumpectomy. I had written down all my reasons for wanting a double mastectomy - my cancer was only found due to my lymph node enlargement - no lump could be felt in my breast and the mammogram was clear - I did not want to worry about my dense ‘lumpy’ breasts for the rest of my life. My surgeon was very sympathetic to my feelings and said that it was no point doing a lumpectomy if psycologically i wouldn’t be happy and able to live life…he was also happy to remove the ‘good’ breast which as I understand not all surgeons are. I also was sure about not wanting a reconstruction and I felt that there was more resistance to this than the mastectomy. I am (or was and will be again) an active person, I horse ride and am not a very girly girl, wanted a shorter recovery time and felt comfortable that I would be fine without a reconstruction. I was told that I would need to see a psychiatrist to discuss my decisions. I did this and all was fine. I had my double mastectomy 4 weeks ago and am still happy with my choice and feel even more certain that reconstruction is not for me. I would advise being firm and practical about your reasons and go in with all these written down. There is a fab facebook group called Flat Friends for women who do not want a reconstruction. It is a very individual decision to reconstruct or not but not reconstructing does not mean we are any less a woman. I hope it all goes well for you xx
I still have one breast so am possibly not the right person to speak except that i didn’t want recon either - just to get back to normal in the shortest possible time.I wear a prosthesis and don’t even think about it.
One thing to think about, from what I read from women who have gone flat: It is hard to buy clothes - mens shirts would be OK of course and stetchy type tops no problem either. Dresses will be very difficult.
There is a website Flat Friends for women who have chosen to live without breasts. You may find it helpful.
Finally, you are certainly not alone in thinking losing a breast(s) is nothing like losing an arm or a leg.
Thankyou so much everyone for your helpful input, my chemo brain managed to help me forget that I had made this thread until I returned and realised I already had so this so sorry for being a while responding.
Everything said here does seem to confirm my initial feelings that double mx is best for me I have large boobs 34f and I can imagine that balancing that with a prosthesis would be a pain if I went for one mx plus I would stil be stuck with large heavy bras which I have a feeling would tilt and move wrongly anyway.
I feel I have no use for my breasts now they are simply something I can live without happily and probably more healthily as I wont spend my life worrying, as someone else said here my breasts are lumpy anyway always have been its a miracle I found the lump at all so the thought of continuing with them seems actually frightening.
I want them gone I am just hoping they will agree to do it when the time comes I will do as advised and write the whole thing down my reasons and wishes and press for what feels right.
thanks so much, I will look at the flat friends site it sounds helpful XXX