I was dx Dec 27 2007 with grade 3 ductal carcinoma (no lymph node involement). I’ve had lumpectomy, chemo, rads and have been on Tamoxifen for 3 months now. I’m 28 years old.
I had pain in my collar bone area (just below the collar bone, i think maybe my top rib) opposite to the affected side and last night I think I found a group of small lumps about the size of small peas under that arm pit. I’ve got an appointment with onc in three weeks time but at the mo and getting very worried. I’ve phoned the BC nurses today and left a message and am waiting for a return call.
I’ve been in tears this morning and I am finding things very difficult. My mum was dx 1 week after me (we are very close) so we have battled through ops, chemo and rads together. I want to go and have a good cry to her but I know she has enough on her plate with her own cancer problems, she has a bone density scan tomorrow and I’m worried they may find something.
I’m getting married in March 08. I have a daughter who’s nearly 10 and we have just brought a puppy Bichon Frise (she is so gorgeous).
I’m trying ot be so positive but am begining to crumble. I keep thinking will I be able to get married ? Will I have to have more chemo (i had a bit of a rough time of chemo, very sick etc)? What if I don’t have long left ? How will I tell my daughter ?
Thoughts keep running through my head and I just can’t stop them.
I’m going crazy.
I have such a strong feeling that this will beat me.
It is understandable you are so upset, its a place you don’t want to be.
You have done the right thing and contacted the clinic. My BC is different to yours but when I felt a lump in my arm pit I went back to the clinic too.
I can’t tell you not to worry as I never find that advice any good, but please try to think rationally, first you have done the right thing, kept body aware and reported symptoms straight away. Secondly the lumps will be investigated and thirdly what ever they are they are treatable.
Perhaps you could reconsider contacting your mum. Speaking as a mother I would much rather my daughter share worries than think she would burden me. It sounds as if you have a good relationship and a good cry might help you both. Besides she might welcome a diversion from her own worries.
I truly hope all goes well, I am only sorry it will be three weeks before you see anyone. Have you considered phoning the clinic regularly to ask if they have had any cancellations, it has always worked for me.
If you feel that you would like to talk to someone in confidence about your concerns, please call our helpline. The staff are breast care nurses and people who have had personal experience of breast cancer and can offer you support and a ‘listening ear’.The number is 0808 800 6000 the lines are open Monday to Friday 9am - 5pm and Saturdays 9am - 2pm.
I totally understand where you are at just now as I was there a few wks ago. My pain turned out to be ‘guarding’, muscular pain due to the mastectomy. Physio sorted me out. Keep hopeful that the same is the case for you.