I have been diagnosed with breast cancer for the second time , first time 10 yrs ago … I haven’t been able to have sex since the first time , I had zolodex for 3/4 yrs and tamoxifen 5 yrs and from the start sex has been impossible ! I have tried things like silk etc but the pain is still unbearable , we have lived without intimacy for years … But I feel sad about it
Dear starveld,
I wondered if you had seen our booklet on sexuality. I have attached a link, hoping it may be of some help:
www2.breastcancercare.org.uk/sites/default/files/bcc110_sexuality_booklet_web_3.pdf
Very best wishes
Janet
BCC Moderator
Have you tried Replens ??? I’ve started to use it and found a great improvement ?
Maybe you could try ‘yes’ you can order it online and I’ve found it works better than silk or Replens . It’s a natural product and def helped.
Hi Ladies,
Sometimes I think there is a conspiracy to keep quite about the sexual difficulties that can occur after cancer treatment. I had a look at the BCC link and I am disappointed that it does not include any reference to the common problem of “shrinkage”. It is not just dryness that can cause pain. I had to suffer a sexual health nurse telling me it was basically all in my head and dismissing the physical symptoms. Yes, there is a loss of confidence after a life threatening illness and a mutilated body, but there are real physical symptoms that can be addressed with the right lubricant and the use of dilators.
This links to a Macmillan page - the video is about cancer in general, not just BC, but it acknowledges that your vagina may have literally become smaller, but there is something you can do about it.
I think we all need to be a bit more open about this - maybe some health professionals actually do not know, because we suffer in silence.
Come on ladies, we have whipped out our boobs in front of all and sundry, let’s not be embarrased to talk about sex.
Hate to see such distress, but really can empathise. Got the BC diagnosis 3 years ago, at 54 but just remarried 3 years at that stage so sex was still quite a priority. I was given AI’s so side effects of those really messed up the really quite nice sex life. I have tried every moisturiser, lubricant, Yes, Replens, whatever, with no relief. I did find one thing that helped a little bit on the US breascancer.org site, cocoa butter, but that was minimal. I discussed with onc who agreed that quality of life is important, so now on very low dose vagifem, occasionally. Still not anywhere near what it was before, but ‘better’.