I’m usually only an observer on these forums and always find them really helpful. So I’m in need of some advise. I was on Tamaxifen and have been changed to Femara in the last 6 months due the occurance of secondaries. As others have said in these forums since the hormone therapy started it like the plug that powers my sexual desire has been pulled. I have used Replans and it helped initially but now sex is becoming really painful. Has anyone experienced this? Any advise on things i can do to make it better?
Any tips would be great. I’m only 35 and miss sex. My husband is briiliant about it but i fell pretty crap about it, It’s just not fair!
I am 3 xneg so not hormone receptive but i was perscribed vagifem pessaries and they really did help . I have heard that because these pessaries are topical even hormone receptive ladies can use them.
was going to suggest vagifem pessaries too… also might be worth speaking to your local family planning/sexual health clinic to see if they run a menopause clinic… i worked in sexual health for years and we have always had meno clinics and we do see women who have chemo and hormone induced menopause symptoms.
apart from replense do you use any lubrication during sex? you can get some from sexual health clinic or buy it… ky jelly is probably the most well known but it is a bit more jelly like and some others like liquid silk are more water based… if your using condoms avoid using oil based lubes as they can damage the condom.
also not sure if you have checked out the menopause matters website… it is for the general population but also widely used by health professionals too and is quite a good resource.
presuming your smears & STI screens are up to date as these can sometimes cause problems too.
i know easier said than done but if you worry about it then your body doesnt relax and it is more likely to be painful and it becomes a vicious circle which can be quite difficult to break… try not to put any pressure on each other to actually have sex, try to do other things like sensual massage etc
Thanks for all your advice ladies, looking at the websites you recommended there doesn’t seem to be anything appropriate, it looks like i need to discuss this with my GP.
MY GP advised me not to bother with all the pessaries and creams. He recommends OLIVE OIL. Not tried it yet myself; but the SE of arimidex is creeping up on me so I’ll give it a whirl when I need to.
if your using condoms as contraception then olive oil is totally the wrong thing to use as oil based substances will cause them to deteriorate… just use water based lubricants if your using condoms.
Hello. I had this problem after chemo. I used Sylk which is really good and helped me get back to normal in a couple of months. Google it and you can get a free sample.
Best wishes
Anthi x
Yes I’ve recently started taking Femara after an oophorectomy and I’m experiencing the same thing. Just as I am at a stage where I want to get my life back, including a healthy marriage, I find sex is suddenly really sore. I’m 42, I just had the worst year of my life and I want to live a little. OK I’m not rocking around the clock these days, but I’m not ready to hang up my Mojo yet!! I tried Replens etc and they are just about ok but assumed I was stuck with this problem.
However, I saw my Onc for my 6 months post-treatment appointment and mentioned it to her. I was strongly ER+ but she said she had no hesitation in writing to my GP to ask him to prescribe oestrogen suppositories for me. Apparently after an oophorectomy and whilst taking Femara my oestrogen levels are pretty much zero - which is good, obviously, but that’s what is causing the problem. She said that, although there is oestrogen in it there is the tiniest amount that is absorbed into the bloodstream (most of it remains topical) and you don’t need to take many doses (2 or 3) for it to last up to 6 months. Any risk is purely theoretical, she has never heard of anyone developing a new or secondary BC because of it. She also said it is extremely successful and she has never heard of anyone saying it didn’t work.
It is a balancing act to an extent, but in theory there is a tiny risk, and some women welcome the soreness etc as an excuse to dispense with the sexual aspect of their life. But I don’t. I’m not ready to give up that side of me yet - I’ve lost so much through BC surely I can at least have a bit of loving now and then!!
Edited to say that this problem has been going on since I started chemo and my hormone levels dropped. I didn’t care then, I felt so rough George Clooney might well have received a knock-back. However, I am now 6 months post-treatment, post-oophorectomy and into Femara. The problem is getting worse, not better. Time to take action.
“MY GP advised me not to bother with all the pessaries and creams. He recommends OLIVE OIL. Not tried it yet myself; but the SE of arimidex is creeping up on me so I’ll give it a whirl when I need to.”
maybe olive oil in an emergency while having a knee trembler in the kitchen … …( that type of thing a distant memory but i live in hope ) not sure i would want to whip out a bottle in the bedroom though xxxx
Its a relief to see that others are having the same problem as me. Sex drive all but disappeared (after starting Arimidex) and when any attempt is made it hurts like hell! I too tried Replens but that just made me itch a lot (not nice). Have used K Y Jelly since the menopause but think Silk might be worth a try now. Although to be honest its more for the other half, I would, to quote the Victoria Wood song, “be happy with a digestive and a cup of tea!”
Same problems really, interesting to read what you say about Replens making you itch Chris, I have used it for ages then for whatever reason I am the same.
When I saw my onc the other week she said she would not have any objections to me using some oestrogen cream and would write to my GP.
Also like you its for the other half, if I was on my own it would’nt bother me.
I found the replens was a bit Ucky with the white bits!! I know we are all most prob a bit long in the tooth for sex advice but what about exploring non penetrative stuff, and touching and massage, cosmopolitan magazine web site has some great ‘alternative techniques’ advice…dear lord can’t believe i just wrote all that on a site that shows my photo LOL x
Glad you did though Rhian-made me smile!
Good thread, this. I haven’t tried any of the creams and pessaries, thought it was just me, and didn’t consider mentioning it-seemed too difficult and personal. I feel like I’d just got a bit of spark back once my kids were no longer babies and bang, straight into bc and early menopause! what a b****er!
You’ve made me feel like addressing it and making a bit more of an effort to get things going, so to speak!
I use the Boots or Durex Play intimate lube stuff - it’s great, comes in either a plastic bottle or individual sachets and you can pick various flavours or ones which heat up - some of them even taste quite nice :')
My partner takes great delight in dripping it onto me when it’s freezing cold and making me jump. You can also get the same thing in a ‘melt’ which you put in the freezer and then massage it wherever you want. Time to get my own back lol.
I find my sex drive is completely zero - probably due to my ovaries being killed during chemo, but I enjoy sex when I make the effort to have some - I’d say it is worth bothering with, although most of me often just wants to read a book. I really would like some libido back, particularly as I am getting married in November.
Rhian’s post made me laugh about posting and showing your photo! I’m about to do the same;
My libido is non-existent and has been for a while before bc which I put down to being peri-menopausal.I’d thought of trying HRT in an attempt to alleviate the situation for 5yrs or so, but obviously that’s out of the question now. I’m 49, don’t consider myself quite over the hill and wanted to feel feminine again. I wonder if there’s anything else that can be safely prescribed to bring it back?
When I told my oncologist she said that she could have told me that would happen, loss of libido that is. Its just as if they feel its not important, but its not just us it affects.
If it was a man’s problem I am sure an answer would be found.
I’m the same leucite-enjoyable when it happens, but have to put in some effort to feel motivated! I’m having a night away with OH, without my young kids, which I think will help a bit too. Yes, some instant libido would be nice!
…( that type of thing a distant memory but i live in hope ) not sure i would want to whip out a bottle in the bedroom though xxxx