Picking ME up again

Public Archive
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One month after my 50th I had my Mammogram
Wasn’t so bad I thought, until the letter dropped through the door
RECALLED, a clinic appointment had been made for me
(Most people who are recalled after their first time are fine)
Better to be safe than sorry, don’t worry
Mammogram, Ultra Sound, Core Biopsy
My Head was in a spin too much to take in-
Could this really be happeningto ME?

“Keep your chin up”
“Be strong, stay positive, it won’t be long”
“I’m sure you will be ok”
RESULTS DAY
Dismay - You have BC
Woosh to the floor
“Sure it won’t have spread, caught early good prognosis”
All I think and feel is DEAD

“You were lucky, good job you went for that Mammogram”
Frankly when it’s you who gives a d…
still more “Chins up”
“I know it’s easy for me to say! I’m sure you will be ok”

Friends, neighbours, colleagues, all have a tale to tell about BC
“Don’t know how I would cope, if it happened to me”
(almost said with glee), smile benignly, malignant inside
They wonder why they don’t want people to know CONFIDENTIALITY

OPERATION" You’ll be fine"
Don’t worry, stay strong"
“have a good time!”, best place to be
But this is happening to ME

Phones ring - txts are sent, “glad it went well”
cards arrive, visitors too
Waiting for the follow up appointment
Don’t know what to do with myself

Day arrives “more chins up”
“sure it won’t have spread”
“too small, caught early”
More whooshing to the floor

Good news tumor out, margins clear, cancer free Yippee
BUT 10 lymphs out 1 positive
Not too bad, could be worse, I want to curse

More “Chins up”, be positive, stay strong
waiting won’t be too long

See the ONC who’s very nice
but worst fear is realised
Suggests Chemo. TAX and FEC
What the heck- This is ME
Chin up , as I hit the floor once more

Could be worse. I know
There’s lots of people out there with lots of woe
But doesn’t it make you think?
Careful what I eat, exercise and drink
Yet I have become 1 in 8 (a statistic I hate)
Before all this I had a life
Now all I feel is grief, anger and strife

So here’s to all my BC Buddies
Get that chin up,
Drag “strong”, “positive” and “don’t worry” from where you threw them last
And let’s give LIFE a wonderful blast!

Hope this helps some of you, it has me!

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This is absolutely fantastic and sums up exactly how I feel, maybe we should all print this off and give it to our family and fiends so they may get an idea of what it really feels like to be us!!

Sending hugs

Karen

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Really great, thanks for sharing it with us, sums up eveyrthing we are are going through.

Love Jillxx

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Thanks Karen and Jill, I never thought I would be writing a poem about this, but I was having a bad time last week and it kinda came to me in a flash, it’s taken me a few days to share it, but if it has helped you then I am glad I have done it.
X Sarah

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sarssquatty
well done that was brilliant.
and more to the point SNAP!!!
i had my mammo just 1 month after my big 50th, had a recall and cancer was the last thing on my mind. I didn’t get clear margins so had to have more removed and also SNAP it managed to get to 1 lymph node
this was last year - diagnoised valentines day, first op 1/3/07, I’ve had my chemo, my rads and now on hormone tablets and getting my life back

good luck with the treatment, it will go faster than what you think!!!

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Well My Dear Sarssquatty!
I love it It made me smile, weep, wince and smile again, as I know what a lovely person you are!

Tender hugs & wishes

Mel your Staffs buddy!!!
xx

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Thanks Kelyn, glad you are getting your life back

Thanks Mel, glad it made you smile,

Suppose I need to do the next instalment now as I’m about to start Chemo, I will wait for the inspiration to hit me! I’m “positive” it’s there somewhere!

Sarah

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Thanks for sharing that sarssquatty - even though some people are great (and some not so great!) only someone else going through the same thing can understand how it really is. I like the last verse particularly!

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Sarah, Absolutely brilliant, you have put everything in verse what we all have been going through, thanks it made me smile something I am not doing enough of.

GillMc xxx ((((( x )))))

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GillMC and Nicola71,

I’m glad it’s helped you in some way, and made you smile, I know people try to help us, but sometimes it doesn’t help does it and until it’s you, I suppose you really have no idea what it feels like, I’ve had a “don’t envy you that one” this week! So will have to work that in my new verse somewhere!!

Take Care

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Just bumping this up for new comers who might want to read it.

Sarah x

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YES! Sums up bc in a nutshell for me.

Rachy

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Just bumping this up to help any one who wants to read it x

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Sarah -
No doubt it took much for you to share this – but it does show what a lovely person you are. I am echoing Me1999.
When I first started this treament and learned about BC, had a long postponed lunch with a collegue. She is Russian, and we had always had a nice relationship, all work. During this lunch, she told me about her son who dies at age 25…and that I would be suprised at the reaction of friends. Those who I would think would be supportive, might not. Others would come forward to be a good friend. Folks can only handle what their minds will let them. It is just too close to home for many. So be aware. She also said, in her wonderful Russian accent (probably aimed at my boss), “Don’t take any s@@@ from anyone!; this is your life, do what you have to do.” Wow.

Your wonderful poem hit home – this isn’t a statistic, this is ME. Yes, makes a big different. They talk about chin up, be positive, good vibes, all of that and it is difficult for them to know how it feels to have double poison inside you. Cancer and chemo. What a pair. You have done a great job of summarizing those feelings!!! Thanks you.

Emily
xxx

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Sarah

Great poem.!!! Thank you.

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Chin up! We all say it, have said it. Before and after BC. But it can grate when it is everyone you meet that says it. Makes you think about the words we say in all innocence. A great poem all the same!

Irene

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Bumpimg this up for Jaydeek and any newcomers

Sarah X

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This made me cry as mirrors my feelings - its lovely
Thanks for sharing
xxx

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What a poem that was … made me smile…
and sum’s it all up
sal x

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Hi Sarssquatty

This is wonderful and sums up all the emotions that are going through all of us. Especially on days like today when you seem to have “down days”.

You are a very clever lady. Hope you are getting the support you need. Sometimes you can feel very isolated.

Hugs
x