pink October

Public Archive
21

I feel this is the right place to put this post although I have thought of starting another thread for it.
Must share my story on here.
I got a phone call from BCC who said Asda mag would like to do an article for their Oct mag and include my BC ‘story’ or is it ‘nightmare’?
Phone call with asda mag and told them about being misdiagnosed by a GP I first saw, her words to me were ‘if I thought it was cancer I would have you seen in a week’
The reason adsa mag wanted the article was because it was only through the OCT 2005 issue and breast awareness and what to look for article I went back to another GP who got me an appt in rapid assessment and hey ho it was BC.
The woman taking my story down said’ Oh we wont include the misdiagnosis by the first GP that may scare people’
So there you go I think that says it all. People don’t really want to know the TRUTH, they dont want to hear about people dying and suffering and secondaries it doesnt sell well to the general public.
God only knows what this feature will be like as she didnt even send me a edited copy.
Why did i agree to it? I have asked myself that question many times and its probably because I value BCC and the tremendous help they have been to me.
I will support my friends ‘pink party’ but I wont be taking my friend along who I saw tonight who’s husband has terminal cancer and may well not be here in Oct, don’t think she or many others with this Cr*p disease will be in the mood to party.
I remember last year this fund raising event to raise money for our local hospital, called LUCY, I was so disappointed that secondary BC was not mentioned except for the briefest of comments that ‘people die from this disease’
Wrote to my local hosp suggesting some of the money was spent to form a secondaries support group and guess what I never even got a reply.

I have mixed emotions in Oct, I am thankful for the asda mag and understand BCC need funds, but I was DX in Oct on my mums birthday, she had died 18months before with BC and extensive secondaries.

We all need to be sensitive to other peoples feeling.
Rx

22

sheesh liverbird - people SHOULD be frightened but the reality should be supported by sensible advice and facts. Thanks for sharing your story xx

23

It is a difficult one.

Have to say, before my Dx, I have arranged “Pink things” - in particular a Pink Day at a local riding school. Yes, we even had ponies wearing pink legwarmers - a pink fairy showjumping - we wore pink t-shirts…I’ll stop before the anti-pink brigade throw something at me…

And we raised around £1200, not a bad ammount from a small group, mostly children, who had a fun time. In particular, the teenagers involved had never done this sort of thing before, and had a real sense of doing something good, whilst enjoying themselves as well.

We repeated it the next year - but with a green theme (as that’s the colour our local hospice uses)- and raised around £1200 for the hospice. Which was very well received, as hospices are virtually self funded.

And now? - yes, I admit, I am not coming at this from a secondary view point, and I do not, in anyway, wish to trivialise this at all. I can totally see how inappropriate “pink and fluffy” must feel to so many.

But, and it’s a big but, is it really wrong to raise the money in this way? I know £1200 is a “drop in the ocean” in some ways - but lots of £1200 drops eventually make quite a big pond when added together?

And, yes, I would do something similar again.

Lizzie

24

As someone who has now being diagnosed with two primary breast cancers (one in 1995 and the second in March 2009) I don’t have any issue with the pink theme for funding raising.
I appreciate that the funding raised is not always going to benefit those already diagnosed with breast cancer. However the whole campaign promotes awareness and more women are mindful of checking their breasts and going to the hospital/gp if they think something is wrong. Is that a bad thing? I don’t think so.
Cancer affects one in three people and since my second diagnosis I have been surprised at just how many people have “cancer” experiences - whether it be themselves or relative/friend. I personally think that the majority of people are aware of the brutality of cancer and are afraid of it. My mum died in 1989 of breast cancer and at that time in the 1980s there was very little awareness and fund raising. In fact sufferers were embarrassed to admit they had cancer. I would hate to go back to those days.
Just to add one thing - John Hartson, the footballer, who was recently diagnosed with advanced secondary cancer to his brain and lungs as a result of a testicular cancer was embarrassed to admit he had a lump in one of his testicles for over two years and did not seek help. Because of the lack of promotion of testicular cancer and the “lets keep it private” theme men are not as forthcoming as women in seeking help and advice. My daughter’s friend has also recently been diagnosed with testicular cancer at the age of 26. He, like Harton, finds it hard to talk about.
I say keep the pink theme and lets appreciate everyones efforts in trying to raise money to get rid of this awful disease. And remember just because the people raising the money may not have any experience of breast cancer personally they may lost a relative or friend to breast cancer or any other cancer.
Vicky

25

I still think it can be a very selective ‘awareness’ now, especially after reading Ruth’s post and her experiences and I still feel sad so many thousands of women who lost their lives, many with young families, are not really acknowledged. These women matter, their families matter.
I’m not suggesting we put the ponies in black legwarmers (LizzyM’s previous post in case anyone wonders about the ponies reference!) but I still hope Murray and others might one day run some quieter thoughtful fund raising alongside all the fun stuff. But I fully agree it’s good so much money is being raised at this time of year.
x

26

Hi everyone

Just thought I’d add a little something!

Much as I detest the whole pink thing, I could accept the pink ribbon (if we really must have this colour). What I really can’t stand is the ‘comedy pink element’, ie, those vile pink bras printed on tee shirts - oh tee flipping hee!!! What idiot thought it would be a good idea to create jokey t-shirts with such bad taste humour. There are so many women who have gone through mastectomies and many with breasts which no longer resemble what was there before and what do we do? Throw the pink bras in their faces and give everyone a giggle (at our expense of course) - oh, very thoughtful - NOT!!

Just a little food for thought, what if testicular cancer was promoted in this way … would they produce shorts with a great big pair of ‘you know whats’ printed down the front of them? You damn well bet they wouldn’t!!!

Lots of love to everyone. Cathy x

27

interesting how to market testicular cancer - I wonder if they’d use the word bollocks ?

28

I was interested to hear today that Abide with Me is sung just before each Great North Run so the competitors can take a moment to reflect on who they are running for…be it in memory or support.
This got me wondering if there could be a small place in October for a quiet, reflective campaign to exclusively fund, through help or research those with advanced, recurrence and secondaries?
A picnic…where people could get together to remember, talk about a loved one and make a donation in their memory…or make a donation in support of someone they know living with secondaries. We with recurrences, secondaries could have a picnic with our families and make a donation, lots of us have lost fellow patients, friends, other family members we could make a donation in their memory. It could be in a favourite place, a place special to those taking part or perhaps A Rosemary for Rememberance day? Something along the lines of the Crocus walks organised by Breakthrough. Something quiet and reflective amongst all the ‘Fun’ fundraising which might help spread the word, increase awareness, that this is a serious disease which leaves many families devastated. It could appeal to those with primaries too. Those who are interested in raising funds the more traditional Pink way could pass up on such a campaign. But perhaps there’s room for both ways of raising funds, supporting others? Just some rambling thoughts I had this morning…x

29

And a WONDERFUL rambling thought it is love. it came just as I had a text from a dear friend who used to post on the secondaries forum but who currently is not able to post and is ill. Believe me i would be the first to donate if i thought it would benefit anyone with secondaries.
A picnic, a get together or anything would be very welcome.

Rxx

30

Belinda

I think a day set aside for this would be great for reflection and awareness etc. In the US they are having 13 October adopted in some towns as Metastatic Breast Cancer Awareness Day.

Flora x

31

Thanks R and Flora…I didn’t know there was an Awareness day in parts of the US. I hope there might be a place for a small campaign in the future here, some day…I’m ever hopeful :-)…xx

32

I was diagnosed in June 08 and finished surgery, chemo and rads in Jan09. I am actually feeling really well again now, have lost weight and am swimming and exercising etc. If it wasn’t for the joint pain & hot flushes I’d hardly know I’m living with BC! I have a lot of sympathy with those who are really turned off by the Pink October stuff- so I forwarded one of the pages of comments to my elder daughter to see what she thought; she is a lawyer and a ‘sensible’ person and I respect her views- which I have included below- hope they may help other people.

Hi Mum - I can obviously see why those with cancer are sensitive and don’t want others to think that this is just a fun club to be in. But I don’t think people do think that. Perhaps it’s just because people don’t know what to say/how to show sympathy and support other than through doing something like this. But I feel that the publicity generated by the charities doing this sort of thing has helped massively to make cancer a less scary word & make the world more inclined to talk about it.

It’s only recently that this has been the case though, so maybe it’s a case of small steps… once people feel able to talk about cancer, then the next step might be for them to acknowledge more openly that not everyone survives.

It must also be the case that everyone knows that many of those with cancer don’t have a good prognosis - but what’s the benefit in those who haven’t got cancer being downbeat and dwelling on the sad stories? Isn’t it better that they, as well as people with cancer, whilst being realistic, focus on the positives/breakthroughs/people who’ve survived etc etc.?

33

I don’t want people to “dwell on the sad stories”, I want people to acknowledge the realities of this disease. I don’t want to be invisible, and I don’t want sympathy. What I do want is campaigning that is truthful and not too frightened of offending those who can’t deal with thinking about mortality.
nicky

34

Hi topsymo…I know people mean well, they really do, with their Pink fundraising…I’ve resigned myself to much of it, a lot of money is raised. I hope it’s put to good use. But there must, I think, be some real stories amongst the ‘fun’ stuff.
I was diagnosed with secondaries in 2003. I have made many friends since my diagnosis, all had/with secondaries so it’s not surprising to say I’ve lost so many of these friends, a staggering number! Not always email friends only too as a very large number of long time posters of the Secondaries forums used to meet up…( mostly during 2004-2007) from all over the UK. We would regularly book a hotel and have a day or two together. It’s sadly not surprising we are now but a handful but it is desperately, desperately sad. I’m now 50 but many of these women were in their early 30’s, 40’s. Many had young children, teenagers. These women, now dead, mattered and I do think we should spend just some of the Pink month acknowledging the harsher realities some of us face. If not, as Nicky says, we still living can feel, at times, quite invisible, especially during the Pink month. I can’t think of any other serious disease that’s been so trivialised…Tickled Pink, In the Pink, how can these silly campaign names be remotely relavant to such a serious and devastating disease?
Take Care…Love Belinda.x

35

Beautifully expressed, Nicky. You have summed it up so well.

Eliza xx

36

Didn’t want to start a new thread for this, so am adding it to this one as it is relevant to the title.

We just got back from ASDA, and noticed that they had Pink packs of coke for sale to support BC Care and BC Campaign. Now, despite the problems people have, especially with the “tickled” part, I am glad that they are taking the trouble to raise awareness, and that through their campaign a lot of money has been raised. However, I got to doing a bit of mental arithmetic, and it went as follows:

Multibuy 2 x 8 can packs of coke = £4.00 (=25p per can)
Pink charity pack 15 cans of coke = £4.00 with 20p going to charity.

By my reckoning, that’s 15x25p = £3.75 for the coke, 20p to charity, and 5p to ASDA. So we bought the 2x8 packs and will donate all of the 25p.

37

It’s great that having a month where major sponsors contribute huge amounts to breast cancer charities - either to fund research to improve treatment, or to provide much-needed support and information. The level of awareness pink October can generate in the general population is very important.

It does seem, however, that because it’s breasts involved, it can end up with slightly off-colour products being designed and offered for sale. It could be that although great strides have been made in removing the embarrassment from the subject, we’re not all the way there yet. And given where we are with breast cancer, and raising funds and awareness, I can only stop and consider with compassion the even steeper challenge facing those with other even more “embarrassing” diagnoses who rarely get a chance to make it into the media spotlight. I’d say on that basis that breast cancer is at the vanguard of those cancers that people are becoming more comfortable discussing, and we not only make it easier over time for people to talk about breast cancer, but also testicular, prostate, ovarian, rectal and sundry other cancers involving parts of the body people are more inclined to joke about than talk about in sensible terms.

I hope BCC and the other breast cancer charities can continue to press for a wider and more balanced representation of the experience of breast cancer patients across the country. And that the media can overcome their fear that a less-than-rosy story will be too scary to publish. As long as the experiences documented are done in a non-alarmist way, that should surely be possible. In the rush to celebrate the “lucky” ones who have “beaten cancer”, those who have still got their battles to fight should not be hidden from view. Pink is the colour chosen for breast cancer, but it isn’t, and shouldn’t about be rose-tinted spectacles.

Everyone in life lives in uncertainty, but once you’ve had a cancer diagnosis, you’ve had that uncertainty rammed home to you very hard, and you then have to live with that knowledge, rather than carrying on oblivious to that uncertainty.

I’ll continue to support pink October events, and if the products are ones I’d have bought anyway, that’s fine. Although some products which aren’t pink would also be great - even if there has to be some little bit of pink on them somewhere…

And when I wear pink on 30th October (at work we’ve got a wear it pink day) I’ll do so proudly - celebrating the courage of women everywhere facing this disease, and in memory of those who are no longer with us because of breast cancer.

Hope I’ve not wandered too far off the track.

38

I enjoyed Jansman’s post!

What everyone has to appreciate, is that there is very little true altruism in this world. ASDA / Walmart are primarily answerable to their shareholders (and that’s how it such be)and will only involve themselves in charitable activities that ultimately boost share prices or enable them to pay bigger dividends to shareholders. The same can be said for any plc that involves itself in pink activities this time of year.

As I said in another post, if ASDA are able to encourage shoppers into their stores because of Tickled Pink activities and merchandise, they will also, likely as not, sell them some normal groceries.

I also wasn’t convinced by the argument from a poster somewhere on this website,that all the breast cancer charities should amalgamate. An enlarged charity with a monopoly position, would be fairly unresponsive to criticism and would begin to operate for the benefit of those running the charity.

Monopolies are never a good thing as they destroy choice and competition.

We can get what we want from the public limited companies provided we can demonstrate that the changes will still be good for their image and will meet their prime objectives.

Still think we should be discussing these ideas off forum in questionnaires.