please help in a panic

hi all i am 43 yrs old and have had an uncomfatable left breast for about a yr now have been in doctors a few times but always been told that all is ok then when i was layin in bed a while bk when i turned onto my right side i found a very lumpy area that is quit big but i could only feel when on my side i went to the doctors a week ago and she said that it was “quite thicken and very lumpy” and she felt it as i was laying flat and said it was very prominent when i turned on my side, i have been refered to get a mamogram.but when i asked her if it could be anything else other than breast cancer she replied with have a mamogram and hope all is ok.i have lost alot of weight lately but bloods came back ok ,is this a good sign? i feel a mass that seems to have lots of little bumps on it, she said no signs of cysts.

i am in a panic and just cry most of the time now or just cant function, is there any way it could be something else?if it has been there for so long will it have spread already? omg i am so scared i just cant sleep or eat and need to no if there is any chance it not being bc.

Hi wizardaire and welcome to the BCC forums,

I am sorry to read that you have this worry at the moment, I have posted a link to the BCC ‘Referral to a breast clinic’ publication which you may find helpful as it explains what you can expect at your appointment:

breastcancercare.org.uk/healthcare-professionals/publications/quick-order-list/*/changeTemplate/PublicationDisplay/publicationId/59/

In addition to the support you will receive here, you are welcome to call our helpline for further support and a ‘listening ear’ on 0808 800 6000, the line is open weekdays 9-5 and Sat 9-2.

Best wishes
Lucy

Hi Wizardaire,

Unfortunately I can’t tell you what it could be but I know Dr’s aren’t specialists either and they can’t tell what it may or may not be which is why they are normally pretty evasive about what lumps may or may not be, I’ve found.

They have done the best thing for you by arranging to have it checked out.

I had a lump several years ago and that was eventually diagnosed as calcification, which is just a hardening within the breast and was nothing.

Unfortunately I was diagnosed in Nov with grade 1 breast cancer but it was nothing to do with the calcification I was just very unfortunate.

I know it’s difficult but there are so many things lumps can be try not to think about the worst case scenario until you have a diagnosis.

To date I have had 2 surgeries, chemo and radio and I’m still going strong. I know it is easy to let your mind focus on the worst possible outcomes but let them do the tests and then take one step at a time, that’s how I have got through all this.

If you need to rant, get stuff off your chest just message me. Any way I can support you I will.

Try to keep positive and take care of you, luv Jo xoxo

Hi Wizardaire,
So sorry that you are feeling very and understandably anxious at this time.
You are doing the right thing by going to get a mammogram done to find out what is going on. Everything crossed for you that the results come out in your favour.
Like many others I have been there and although I had bad news (bc in both breasts which you can imagine was devastating) I am undergoing treatment and doing well…not even had a single ‘poorly’ day so far and that’s how I want it to stay!
Keep busy, keep your friends in close contact and keep your support network close to you (message me if there’s anything I can do to help, as would any other person on this site).
There’s plenty of support from the fab people who visit here and they have helped me loads.
Stay strong, keep happy and smile even if you don’t want to…best woshes and let us know how you get on
hugs from

Sue xx

hi there thxs for the replys, i have tried so hard not to panic but it just wont stop i get up shaking and cant sleep just keep lookin at my kids hoping i will see them grow up.i have read wayyyyy to much on the net but cant seem to stop,i know it sounds stupid but my biggest fear apart from the dying is the chemo if i have bc i have sevear panic attacks when it comes to medical stuff especially if my head spins(most attacks head spin 1st) and have read that chemo tends to be given 4 days in a row and that it makes you feel dizzy and omg it panics me just to think of it having to be there for hrs in a state of panic with no way to run, i am so in a game of russian roulette at the min just waiting for the trigger to be pulled to see if it has a bullet there, i;m not sure how i am going to cope if it is bc if at all,ihave recently moved here so dnt have any friends here and my eldest daughter lives over an hr away(and hjas 3 littlens of her own)my partner wrks away most of the week and is not very emotional person so not really any surport there ,i cant do this on my own if at all,
omg srry to write so much but i just have really lost it at the moment and see no hope.

Hey, Hey. You are going to be OK, One step at a time. Take a big breath, I wish I could hug you.
Love Maria

Hi,
I sent you a personal message!! :-)))))
Sue

Oh Wizardaire,
We all know that panic feeling that takes over, but one step at a time are the words that everyone keeps telling you on this site, and they are right.
Have you got your mammogram appointment yet? sadly everything seems to take its time, so you will really need to try and calm down, you have little ones, they need their mum to be in control, you don’t want them to see you in a state, so try while you are waiting for appointments to stay calm, for their sake. perhaps you need to see your doctor, he/she may be able to give you something to keep you a little relaxed.
Please do not read posts that do not relate to you, l have done this and got upset, today l promised myself l would not do that again, not worth all the upset!
As for Chemo, you are looking far too ahead of yourself…18 years ago my best friend was diagnosed with cancer, she used to get panic attacks and thought she would never get through it, but the staff are so caring and understanding, like her, IF you need treatment you will get through it, she had her own nurse that met her at the door and stayed with her the whole time. She looks back and laughs about it now!
They have some lovely ladies on the help line, so why not give them a call in the morning, they will give you lots of support
Take care of yourself and your little ones
Sandra xxx

Please believe me when I say the waiting is the worse…waiting for the unknown, expecting the worse, reading to much info, that in all probabilities will not affect you. Try and focus on the here and now, take each day at a time, worrying yourself senseless doesn’t help…believe me, been there, done that and to some extent still have the niggles.
Until they know what they are dealing with no one can tell you what will happen, I didn’t need chemo, lumpectomy and rads with the next 5 years on arimidex, please come in here and talk through your fears, someone some where will have experience to help you.

Hugs T.

Hi again Wizardaire,

I know there is fear of the unknown, but as yet you don’t know anything so try to breathe and keep as calm as you can.

IF, and I mean IF you need chemo there are different types and mine was only 45 mins, once every 3 weeks, not 4 days.

I’m like you and can panic very easily, let me put it this way I am now known as the fainty one. I fainted during my core biopsy and then again at my 2nd chemo. The nurses are fantastic though and they have helped me through 5 months of chemo after this. I now lie down during the chemo and break my husbands hand while they put a needle in, It works for me, not so good for my husband, lol.

We are all here to support you in any way we can but please try not to read anything about treatments until you know if you need them, it can panic you even more. As I said there is so many different types of treatment until you have a plan none of it could apply to you.

Just remember you are never on your own, you have the support of everyone on here, just write.

Please try to take care of you and as everyone says take one step at a time, luv and hugs to you, Jo xoxox

i am sooo thxful that all of u are here as i am at my wits end and so lost my way at the min, i am a mother of 6,4 at home 2 moved out my middle son(now11) was diagnosed with rb cancer at 5 mnths and won his fight,i am a totally hands on mam i love every minuete that i am with my kids and now am so paniced i cnt spend 10 minuetes with them becuz my mind is goin mad i just hide in my room and ban them from comin in ,i miss them so much even tho they r just in the next room,but i know if i am with them i will cry and cannot do that in front of them, i am so depressed rite now sittin here cryin writin this but it seems that i am so alone,i gone so far ahead of myself that i just cnt find the brakes, nitetime is here agen and i spend it alone in the dark cryin, i have no family other than my own children and no friends here as not longed moved, how do i stop and get off this ride to hell???

Hi Wizardaire

HI wizardaire
OK this is really easy for me to say, but you have really got to get yourself together, even if you have no friends where you are now have you no friends where you once lived?
I think your first call should be to the doctors, because you need help NOW! He/She may be able to get you an urgent appoint for a mammogram, as you are feeling so very low.
You cannot leave your children in a room while you are crying in the other, even at that young age they will know something is wrong with their mum, so get help, put a call in to the doctors, tell them you need to see someone today they will fit you in.
Have you called the helpline here? they will talk you through your worries, l have spoken to them a few times, and always come off the phone feeling quite positive.
Just get help, please do not sit in your room by yourself, it will do you no good, and certainly not your little ones.
It is one thing having a good cry, but certainly another locking yourself away from the world!
There is support for you, but you have to make the first effort, as hard as it may seem.
Please phone someone now wizardaire
Sandra xxx

Hi Wizardaire,

I hope you’re feeling a little better this morning, but do please phone the helpline here, the staff are here to support you through this. Calls to the helpline are free so you can talk as long as you feel the need, the lines are open now 0808 800 6000 until 5pm tonight.

Take care.
Jo, Facilitator

Hi Wizardaire Please do as the girls on here have said phone the helpline someone will speak to you Where do you live if you put area someone may live close by and will pop round and see you. If you just put area someone will pm you and someone may live close to you. Love Linda x

You need your children and your children need you, maybe while you are busy occupied you can distract yourself slightly from what you are feeling. Things will get better, honest.

Hi Wizardaire, it’s Jo again, aka Gremlin.

Did you call the helpline? I hope so they are really supportive and everything is confidential.

You really need to speak to your GP, or if you’ve lost some trust in yours ask to speak to someone else.

It would be great if you could put an area on, or message me. If I was near to you I would definately be there to support you.

You’ve said you’ve been through this before so you know there are positive outcomes. Think of your children now, they must be upset at not knowing what’s going on, having a big hug is something we all need and you have 4, no doubt beautiful hugs waiting for you on the other side of the door. So open the door and give them the biggest hugs they’ve ever had. As we have all said take one tiny step at a time, 1st the hugs, phone call to the support team, then the mammogram, and stop there, go no further until you know what’s happening.

Please keep in touch, you are truly not alone, just message me, big hugs to you luv Jo xoxox

hi agen thxs for all the surport, i have breast clinic thursday and am beside myself, i asked my eldest daughter to come dwn to watch the kids and have spent the last 8-9hrs just walkin tryin to get my head sorted its strange becuz its seems now that 1 minuete i am in full panic and then a strange calm then back to panic, all i can ask is that i somehow find the stregth to get thru this just now sure how yet.thxyou u all so much.

wizardaire, soo sorry to hear of your situation. I think the other ladies on here will agree with me when i say that the strength comes from within when you least expect it, and you didnt even know it was there! Your strength will kick in IF you need to deal with this journey. Like you, i have small children at home and have been a single mum for a while and I just couldnt help but looking FAR into the “what ifs” and how would i cope - but we ALL do and so will you!!

Please let us all know how you get on on Thursday, we will all be keeping our fingers crossed for you.

big hugs

deed
xxx

Hi Wizardaire,
Glad you popped in to leave a message, hope your walk albeit very long walk helped give you a bit of calm.

Do you have someone to go with you on Thursday? If notdo you have a breast care nurse who you can talk to beforehand and she may meet you on arrival at your appointment…just a bit of moral support may help.

Hope all goes well on Thursday, I get my second set of results tomorrow eek!! Just trying not to think about it.

Still here if you need.
Hugs Sue xx