Please help... So frightened

Hi everyone

I am writing this because I am absolutely paralysed with fear. I have not stopped crying since Wednesday. I went to breast clinic ic to see about an infection that’s been lingering. The next thing I know I am having biopsies and multiple ultrasounds and mammograms.
I had my husband and little boy in the waiting room for 4 hours not having a clue what was going on.
I didn’t see any consultants but after the biopsy, I was told that the results would be malignent and if they came back negative they were going to ignore them anyway.
The only thing I was told is that I have calcium spots under the area that had been knocked and where the infection had started.
I am sorry for rambling and not making sense but I am so frightened.
Xxx

Hiyer LunaMuna,

 

Oh my word, what a strange and frightening time you had at that appointment. I am very surprised indeed to hear that you saw no consultant at the breast clinic? This sounds rather irregular to say the least. So, who did your manual examination ? Who over saw the request for biopsies and spoke to you at the end of your 4 hours there? I think part of the reason you are so frightened now is that nobody actually spent time with you sensitively explaining things and what they would do from here on in. Most people in your position would even have had a breast cancer nurse present when seeing the consultant. They seemed pretty certain from the mammogram that there is some bc present, but it is unusual to hear that they will ‘treat a negative result as a positive’. I can only presume, and this can happen, that if they did a guided ultrasound biopsy the results can be different from different areas and so even if this showed no cell changes the other evidence was that there were cell changes within the breast tissue. (a biopsy can accidentally miss the abnormal cells). You mention here about calcification spots, which although often benign can indicate early breast cancer changes, which is presumably what they want to act upon.

 

As I said above I am not surprised at all that you are terrified and crying your heart out, it sounds like your experience has left you rocked to the core. I would firstly recommend that you ring the ladies on the helpline, on the number at the top of this website. They will be able to talk you through what you experienced and try and make some sense of it all. There WILL be a treatment plan put in place for you, and although you don’t know it yet,will be a consultant in charge of your treatment. (just amazed you’ve not met that person yet) If you are emotionally struggling to the extent you sound like you are,go back to the GP and ask if they can find out what the next step is for you and ask for support, which you should have already been offered and given at that breast clinic on the day !!!  After you’ve had a chance to reply to the questions I asked at the start, I will reply further. OK, look, if there is breast cancer it WILL be dealt with, just as it has been and was for all the ladies on this forum who are years down the line (myself included).

 

xxx

Take a deep breath my love, I know how hard this limbo stage is and they have filled your head with so much negativity at the clinic, the comment about ignoring a benign result is quite frankly shocking and not the way you should have been treated. 

Of course they do this every day and have a good idea of what they are seeing but they are not always right and even so things should have been explained to you properly.

 

Do you have a date for your results? Don’t let this drive you out of your mind, honestly the reality of what may happen is often nothing as bad as you are imagining, it’s with hindsight I can say this, I’ve been In your shoes, got the cancer diagnosis and come out the other side, whatever is going to happen you cannot change but you can choose how you deal with it.

 

All of this is speculation until you have an actual diagnosis, just try and take it a step at a time, you know nothing for certain until you get your results so you can’t think or plan beyond that just yet Xx Jo 

 

 

Oh Luna, so sorry to hear you’ve been through this experience. Not a lot more to add to what Jo & Charys have said, other than this stage of being in limbo is the absolute pits.
Sometimes clinical staff do not communicate as well as they should & it could well be, that it’s nothing as bad as you’ve been left to believe it is.
The comment about ‘ignoring them anyway’ was probably a somewhat clumsy way of saying they fully intend to get to the bottom of it.
IF bc is confirmed, then it will be dealt with. There’s loads of us how are out the other side & doing just fine. Jo, Charys & myself are several years down the line & are doing fine, as many others are.
Sending hugs & there’s loads of support here if needed.
ann x

Thank you all so much for your kind replies. The lady I saw was a nurse. She must have been the one who ordered the biopsies and she was the person I had to see at the end.
I get my results on the 17th, such a long wait and I do not feel positive at all about what will be said. I was so frightened getting passed around from pillar to post that I was unable to communicate properly.
The nurse was so cold that I do not want to speak to her again.
I don’t think I was even asked if it was okay to do the biopsy, just asked to confirm my name and address. But by this time I was in such a state I didn’t really have a clue what was going on.
I told the nurse right at the start of the appointment, before she carried out physical examination, that I am on anti anxiety medication and have been since my little boy was born. Not that it seemed to matter one bit.
Thanks again everyone.
Cara xxx

Sorry to hear how you feel about it Cara, that was certainly not helpful, to put it mildly.
Please don’t feel you did not communicate properly, it’s the pro’s who should do that.
Anyway, it seems what needs to be done has been done & a biopsy, as well as the other investigations, is the only way to get to the bottom of it.
There’s nothing more you can do now, so although it’s easier said than done, just carry on as normal, keep busy & try to distract yourself from it.
When you know where you are with it all, then do give feedback about your experience. All NHS Trusts seek feedback & have info on the website on how to proceed with a complaint if you feel you need to do this.
As Charys said below, it might be an idea to give the helpline here a ring to talk it through.
ann x