My sister died last year and I posted quite a lot then and got a lot of help and advice.i now need some more advice about something that has happened to my lovely dad.When Lynn died all the family were devastated and we all have gone through the hell of coping with the grief,shock,disbelief etc.
Mum coped by helping to look after lynns youngest boys who were just 8 and 10 when Lynn died,the rest of us had work,families,friends etc and we all seemed to get by and it has at last started to get a bit easier.We thought dad was at the same stage as us all-he seemed to get a lot brighter -but suddenly a few weeks ago he completely “flipped” and became paranoid.He suspcted he was being stalked,that his phone was bugged,pc being hijacked.Then he started to rant about things that happend in the family over 5 decades ago.Seemed to think we were all in danger,etc
One terrible night 3 weeks ago mum rang me to say he had taken an overdose and I rushed round and poor dad had taken some brufen-thankfully not enough to harm him too much.but he was saying bizzarre things and made no sense at all.I got the emergency dr out and he was addmitted to a pshyciatric care unit for the elderly.he is apparently suffering from delusion disorder-a common thing for bereaved elderly-apparently.
he is on medication and having phsycoananlysis.He is slightly improved but deeply deeply depressed and seems very distressed by just about every bad thing that has ever been done by anyone in the family the past 70 yrs,divorces,affairs etc etc that all families suffer.He seems to think that our family is cursed i think.It really is weird.
the drs say he is full of guilt that lynn died and he couldnt save her and this is a normal reaction for some people.I want to know if anyone has ever had a relation had this dreadful thing due to a bereavement?I need to know that he will get well again and I am hoping someone on here can help.It is so dreadful to see the terrible pain in his eyes.He has lost trust in people and I think he want s to be left to die-i am so scared for him.Losing lynn just 16 months ago was bad enough and now this?
Please can anyone offer me some advice or comfort?
Dear Hoopeybird,
I don’t have any useful words to say to you - I hope others can do that. It is just so nice that you feel able to come back here for support. I remember how thoughtful, kind and supportive you were toward your sister and I am only sorry thay you have another major issue to deal with. It sounds as though your dad is receiving good care. It must be so difficult for the elderly (or anyone) to deal with the loss of a child. I remember my mum suffering for years after losing a young son but I never understood it totally until I became a mother.
So, just lovely to hear how you are doing - I hope things work out for you and your family.
Love Jenny
x
Hi,
I am afraid I cannot offer any advice BUT have you tried ringing the BCC helpline? I am sure they will be able to help or will be able to give you details of someone who can help. I have not called them myself but have heard that they are really good.
Sorry I could not be of more help.
Kindest regards
Fay
Dear Hoopeybird
You are very welcome to contact the helpline as kindly suggested by Fay, the number is 0808 800 6000 and the line is open Mon-Fri 9am-5pm and Sat 9am-2pm. The helpline team can offer you further support and a ‘listening ear’ which may help you during this difficult time.
Best wishes
Lucy
Moderator
Breast Cancer Care
Hi
I’m so sorry to hear about your sister, and your Dad. Unfortunately I can’t offer any advice, I only wish I could.
Sending you lots of love, and I hope everything works out well for you and your family. Please let us know.
Julie x