Hi, this is my first post - I was diagnosed with Grade 2 BC nearly 2 weeks ago and have been in a state of shock ever since. I found a lump and did what I was meant to do and went to my GP; everything has just seemed to spiral out of control since then. My mammogram and fine needle biopsy came back clear but when I went for the results of the core biopsy a week later that was when I got the news - by this time I had talked myself round to thinking everything was OK. I am 39 with a wonderful busband and have 3 children aged 11, 9 and 7; we read the Mummy’s Lump book to them and spent the first few days telling family and close friends and seem to have done nothing but cry since. Due to a cancellation I had my WLE and sentinel node biopsy last Tuesday which was good in some ways as it was so quick but in other ways it has not sunk in and I have to go back for the results this Thursday. I have googled so much and got myself into a complete state; when am I going to die, will I see my kids grow up … Everyone seems to be so brave and positive on this site and I am just a mess - it feels like this thing is taking apart my life bit by bit. I can’t go and do my job which I love, I can’t go to the gym which I love (and fat lot of good that did me trying to be healthy), I can’t eat as I feel sick all the time, I could go on… and on …!! Any positive comments welcome to get me out of this black hole!
Hi Sunflower, I understand exactly how you feel sweetie. It’s just the most horrible time when it feels as though your whole life has been turned inside out and you don’t know what you’re dealing with. I was where you are in Dec/Jan, and have just gone back to work last week, feeling fit and healthy, so there is light at the end of the tunnel.
I found that the worst bit for me was waiting for results, every time I got them I’d been told it was ‘probably ok’, then each time it just seemed to get worse. Then finally after 2 ops I got very good news. I’m not saying that to scare you, just to let you know that this is a bit of a journey of discovery and I found it best to take one day at a time, and to deal with each discovery as it happened. Of course that’s not always easy, but I think it does get easier once you know exactly what you’re dealing with and you have a treatment plan in place.
BC is a horrid disease, but it’s also most often treatable. There are always bad stories, try not to look at them right now (or in fact, probably ever). Lots of the things on line are dodgy remember.
The best advice I can give you is to call the BCC helpline as soon as you can, they will calm you and help to put everything in perspective.
Sending you lots and lots of love, and lots of luck too. Please let us know how you get on, big hugs, Lynne xx
One other point - it’s really good that you’re fit and healthy, that will help your body to heal better, and will help you to recover more quickly. It’s not a waste of time keeping fit! You’re in the best shape to deal with whatever comes your way. xx
Hi Sunflower, welcome from this fellow bc traveller, though sad to hear you’re joining us in the 'ooo ‘eck’ rollercoaster ride of ops and treatments.
You want good news? There’s plenty. Nearly everything you read online barring the top sites like this one is total rhubarb and/or 10 or 20 years out of date, so take zero notice of it.
Lots of new research showing grade 2 is a good one to squash. And lots showing that it makes a big difference if you stay in touch with lots of supportive poeple - in fact it halves the risk of notf beating things, so if you had a 90% chance before, you get a 95% chance instead, if you see what I mean. Massive study very recently. No, they haven’t a clue why. So, no points for total positive behaviour but lots for having loads of support.
The bcc nurses are very helpful here - ask them and others anything you like, and never think you have to react a certain way.
Ann x (diagnosd in Jan/Feb with grade 3 lump 2.3 cm, HER2+ so having chemo then surgery then herceptin wonderdrug thingy. More than half way thru chemo. It’s doable so far…
Hello Flower
YOu are right it is deep black hole at the moment, You are right it was good that you have had youe WLE/SNB quick and as soon as they get those results treatment will be planned and somehow most of us find that it does ease then…you know what you are dealing with and a plan of action!
Posotivly, I had breast cancer 14 years ago at 34, grade 3, I had mastectomy, chemo, tamoxifen and zolodex for 3yrs approx…I went on to get married and have 2 beautiful children now age 7&9. There are many women I know including my mum who have been diagnosed treated and years later (10 for my mum) still enjoying life.
Chin up and please let us know your results xxxxxxxxx
Hi Sunflower,
This is the first time I have posted for quite a while now but felt I had to reply to you!!
I was exactly the same place as you two years ago this month. It totally knocked me for six. Please give yourself time to come to terms with what you have been told. It has got to be one of your worst nightmares!! I can honestly say it is the first time I have felt real fear and it is not nice.
I am a bit older than you and my two daughters are obviously older than your children but it is still not easy telling them.
Anyway, like you I was dx grade 2, no nodes but a large area of cancer so I finally had a mastectomy.
It is my two year anniversary this week, I have done the chemo, rads and am on tamoxifen. It was hard at times but you will get through it and the time goes so quickly. I am now looking forward to a second mastectomy and reconstruction later this year!! A boob job and a tummy tuck (they are using my tummy skin and fat to make my new boobs, because I had lobular cancer I am able to have a prophylatic mastectomy - not because of a second dx).
There is light at the end of the tunnel, it may not seem like it but there truly is.
You will get so much support here and you can talk about anything, cry, rant whatever you want because we all understand!!
Good luck with your results, they will then be able to decide on your treatment and you will feel a little easier.
Sending you love,
Janexx
Hi sunflower71
Welcome to the Breast Cancer Care discussion forums. As well as the support and advice you are receiving from the many informed users of this site you may find BCC’s resource pack helpful, it has been designed for those newly diagnosed.
If you would like a copy just follow the link below:
breastcancercare.org.uk//content.php?page_id=7514
If you feel you need to talk to someone in confidence then please give the helpline a call, the staff here are all either breast care nurses or people who have personal experience of breast care issues. The number to call is 0808 800 6000 the lines open Monday to Friday 9am - 5pm and Saturdays 9am - 2pm.
I hope this is of some help to you.
Best wishes Sam, BCC Facilitator
Hi Sunflower 71. I think it’s important to accept that your feelings are (a) normal and (b) yours and (c) allowed! It’s a real roller-coaster initially… it remains so for a while, but gets a bit different. It takes a while to get your head round it all, and some of the stuff you read would make you give up! As someone else said, much of it is out of date, and the treatments we’re going through are expected to give MUCH better results. Glad you’ve got good support. I set up a Caring Bridge website where I can blog/journal, and people can pop in and read it whenever they have time/think of me and leave messages. It saves having to tell the same thing over and over and over again when you get results/have appointments, and it’s dead easy to set up. Means you can save your emotional energy for those you really want to spend it on, or those you know will support YOU. Keep talking… there’s loads of love, care and wisdom here… Jane
Hi Sunflower
Sorry to say welcome, but welcome anyway.
I think most if not all of us on here have been exactly where you are today. And were told what you’ve been told, that where you are - “The Waiting Room” - is the worst place and it gets better once you know what you’re dealing with. And I don’t think any of us believed it either, I know I couldn’t believe it would get better once treatment started, but I was shocked that it really did.
The support on here is astounding, and you will find lots and lots of help from people who know where you are, because we’re there too, just for a little bit longer.
Don’t google.
Get a notebook to write down your questions so you don’t forget them.
THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A SILLY QUESTION. If it’s something you’re wondering about, it’s worth asking about, either on here or for your doctors.
Be kind to yourself, you’ve just had a bomb go off in your life, it takes time for the dust to settle.
Keep posting if you find it helps.
Give the helpline a ring tomorrow, they’re great.
There, that should keep you busy!
Hi Sunflower,
Sending you a hug! - I was where you are in mid-march (10 weeks ago) when I was first diagnosed, it is emotional and can be a horrific place to be where you are now. It is a white knuckle ride for the first couple of weeks and is sometimes difficult to hang on, it helped me to keep my mind occupied and not to worry too much (which is easier said than done at times). It does help me from time to time to pop into this site and find answers to questions or information I just wasn’t aware of.
It will get easier once you have some info, some results and you can ready your mind for whatever path you are sent along - one thing is for sure, it is very reassuring to have the experience of others to ease your mind, lend an ear and share in your ups and downs.
In the meantime, I hope you find comfort in the words of the experienced here.
Bev
Hi Sunflower, I was the same age as you are now, 39, when I was diagnosed with BC and my girls were 7 and 14. I thought I was going to die. But 22 years later and I am still here and still enjoying life. There was no site like this to share my thoughts with and I only found the site by accident a couple of years ago. I have made lots of friends on the site and am even driving over to France soon and plan to meet a friend I met on here. Forget the web and other site. There are far too many scary things written for you to go there. Just stay on here and talk to us. Your BCNurse is also an invaluable person when you need to ask a question you forgot to ask when you saw your doctor. Is there a Maggie centre near you? They have wonderful staff and you can get a lot of information there too that is reliable. Keep well. One day at a time and be kind to yourself. Love Val
Hello Sunflower71
Having recently had a WLE and SNB I can appreciate your fear. I thought I was a calm person but come the day of the results I was shaking like the proverbial dog! It’s so easy to let your mind assume the worst, it’s human nature. My situation is different from yours as I am older and my kids are grown. It must be doubly hard to get BC when you are a young woman with small children and I do feel for you. You must keep positive and try not to let your mind run away with itself and you appear to have a loving family so this is a massive plus for you.
I will be thinking of you on Thursday and hoping that you get the best results possible.
Thank you everyone; you are all wonderful (even though I am crying again!!). I will stop googling and try and get through until tomorrow but I think my husband will have to bash me on the head and drag me to the appointment. It feels good to talk to other people who have been or are going through this; it seems everyone I’ve told knows somebody that has had BC but I don’t know anyone. My nurse told me about a support group for younger women with cancer but at the moment any self confidence I had has been shattered and I just feel like I would probably just go there and blub and be pathetic! I will let you know how it goes and thank you soooo much for your kind comments, ideas and thoughts.
hi sunflower, it really does get better! im a year older than u, 2 boys 14 and 5.and yes the waiting is awful.you done the 1st step.im at the radiotherapy stage.6 down,19 to go! wishing u love and luck for thurs and please let us know how u get on alex xxxx
hi,
I get my results tomorrow too.–I was stupid enough to ask for an aftenoon appointment, we had found we got snarled up in the school traffic trying to get there in the morning. I think that tomorrow is going to be one of the longest mornings in my life.
All the very best luck for tomorrow, I have been reading what everybody says about waiting being the worse bit and have taken reassurance from that. Lets hope we are both in a bettter place tomorrow night.
thinking of u tomorrow OAL. love and luck alex xxx
ps, all my results apps were in afto 2! it is a crap morning but plan 2 do something nice after,whatever the results.even just going out for tea or something? xxxx
we have booked to come home and open champagne, whatever the results and then in the evening go out to my favorite resturant.
cant go somewhere public just after, I know I am going to cry. I have occasionally welled up with tears during the wait, but never let it out. The dam will break tomorrow, either through relief or through having to face facts after all.
so its home to champers and then later in the evening a toddle down the road for a real treat.
super plan! hve the fizz, then dinner out! girl after my own heart! i had relatively good news(eg i knew it was bc but the stage and grade were better than expected) still cried and nearly hugged my onc. then thought better of it cos he is bit scary! enjoy. alex xxxxxx
So what if you blub and are pathetic? no biggie, honestly, we’ve ALL done the pathetic bit at some stage, so sorry to disappoint you but YOU’RE NORMAL!
Find out a bit more about the younger women’s group and go along, or meet up with others you meet on here. I’ve just come back from a complete hoot of a meet-up with 14 other BCC members, and it was brilliant. Support is very important, so dip your toe in the water and see what you think.