I haven’t been on here for a while. Everything was going well and I was moving on. In November 2006 I had 2 lumpectomies, no lymph node involvement and it was a very small tumour but ER+ and HER2+. I had radiation but my surgeon and oncologist felt I did not need chemo.
I made a brilliant recovery, felt great, took up dragon boating and 2 weeks ago ran a half marathon in Bath. Life was sweet!
Then I started feeling poorly and thought it was an IBD flare up. My gastro enterologist did an abdominal ultrasound which showed an enlarged liver and multiple masses. They suspect mets in my liver and I have done the blood tests and C/T scans. I will do L/spine MRI and bone study on Monday
I guess none of us are surprised at the way the human body can deceive and betray you. One day you’re running 13 miles and the next it feels as if you are running for your life. I’m hoping for the best but preparing for the worst. Anybody else out there been in a similar situation? I am holding together pretty well. It is what it is and now I have to get on with the project in hand and fix myself.
Hi Carolina
So sorry youve had this shock, after being so well after your original dx, well done also for your fitness i bow down to you, I am so unfit at the moment. I have just come onto this site again havent been on for a while.
I am at the moment under going chemo EC and just had my 4/6 session yesterday so feeling a bit sh…y at the moment.
Last chemo session I was told I had raised liver function, but I didnt take any notice and this time was told it is steadily going up, I asked the reason for this and was told it could be my dx or the chemo.
So since coming home from hospital yesterday I am really worried and I know secondaries can go to the liver. This disease is like living with a gun to your head and you get paranoid with anything that is not ‘normal’. Anyway I have rung BC nurse who advised me to ask for a liver scan from the Onc.
Good luck with tests for Monday, will be thinking of you
Gill xx
Hi Gill, I hope you get your liver scan soon and that the results are good. Your analogy about living with a gun to your head is so true. I always think of the sword of Damocles! I am staying positive thinking of all the wonderful people I have met and the new sport I found all because of breast cancer. I have to focus on those up-sides. Please let me know how you get on.
Ann x
So sorry to hear this, Carolina, given your encouraging results at first diagnosis. It shows the sheer unpredictability of this disease. Wishing you all the best for your tests, in the hope that there may be another explanation.
Kathy xxx
Hi Carolina
I know how you feel - I was diagnosed in Nov 05 with 2 lymph nodes so did have chemo…and triple neg so no hormones. i too felt fab!! i had reconstruction and all was well UNTIL Christmas 07 when I developed dizzyness and they found mets in eyes, scan then revealed liver, lung and bones…at 39 I was absoloutly horrified (still am I guess), I really thought my positive attitude and feeling of well being had beaten this.
You will be in a dark place at the moment.
Secondaries i found much more scary. But once you have a clear idea as to the amount of spread and the treatment plan then things will start to look a bit better. Of course until you have all the scans there is always the chance that this is not mets - lets hope so - but try not to cling to that too much.
You will get loads of support on here and I wish you all the best for the tests.
Thinking of you
Jan xx
Hi Carolina
I am sorry to read that you are going through such a difficult time, if you feel that some one to one support would be of help whilst you await your further tests and results, please do call the specialist nurses on our confidential helpline on 0808 800 6000. The line is open Mon- Fri 9am-5pm and Sat 9am-2pm.
Best wishes
Lucy
Hi Carolina
Sorry you have had to join us, but know where you are coming from. I was dx with bc in July last year and 10 days after that was told it had already spread to my liver. I was completely shocked as was my onc, as I had no symptoms whatsoever and didn’t feel ill at all. I had a slight lower back ache, but put it down to my little baby boy, who was 8 months at the time and is quite heavy and thought my lifting and carrying him was the cause.
It is an awful shock to find out you have secondaries, I didn’t even get to learn to live with primary, but it does get easier as such, once treatment is sorted and started.
I hope that your scan results come back with good news but remember whatever happens we are all here to try and help you through it. I had 3 x FEC and 3 x Tax which finished in November and am now on herceptin, My tumours responded spectacularly apparently to chemo so just keep focused.
Take care and let us know how you are.
Love
Dawn
x
Thanks, Dawn, I am glad to know that your tumours responded so well. I must admit the view from here is bleak at moment but it is largely because I am looking into a very foggy unknown. Once I get going and feel I am actively fighting back I think I will feel better. Physically, I am feeling better than when I went for the initial ultrasound for IBD or gallstones dx. It could be a case of being lucky I went to get checked out for that as in the process they picked up on this. Like you though, I had felt and looked fine and so the shock comes harder then, doesn’t it? It is good to know that there are such kind lovely ladies on here to turn to for advice and share feelings with.
Take care,
Love,
Ann
Dear Ann - Just want to say hello and send you an enormous cyber hug because I guess you wrote that last posting in the middle of the night, and can imagine you sitting at the computer feeling lonely and scared and hardly knowing what to do with yourself (I’m in Oz so day time here). It is incredibly shocking how you can feel so totally fit and be told that something is wreaking havoc inside your body. At least with all the sport that you have been doing you will know that you are really physically strong to take on what’s ahead. As several of the girls have said, the waiting for the results and treatment plan is almost the worst time. Can’t make it better for you of course, but try to do some nice things between now and Monday, lovely music, relaxing baths, funny films. Whatever lies ahead, you will be equal to it. One day at a time Ann - and hope you can get some more sleep! Let us know how you get on. Love Sarah xx
Dear Ann
I can’t add much to what others have said before me - we can all picture only too well the anger and fear you are facing, and the disbelief at being told you have a lifethreatening condition when you feel so well. It’s even harder when you thought you had put that bastard cancer behind you. You’ll see though, here are a lot of us on here with liver mets who have been through this - and are living good and happy lives. Sarah is entirely right when she says that the sport you have been doing will help you cope with the treatment - not just physically but mentally too and soon you learn to live with your new normal. It doesn’t mean you don’t get low moments - after all why am I sitting at the computer at 6h15 when sensible people are still asleep - but they pass and this site is a great place to unload. Where do you live Ann? Some of us with liver mets get together from time to time - if you look on the liver secondaries thread you’ll see some dates and places.
I never made the half marathon but I’m running (or possibly fast walking!) the 5k race for life in Cambridge on 1 June. I was diagnosed with liver and lung mets a year ago - so as you see life goes on.
all the very best
love
Barbara
Thanks girls,you are doing such a great job at encouraging me. Your words so often echo thoughts in my own head and so I do not feel so alone. But there are moments when I do sit a the computer or driving in the car and I feel lonely and scared. To top it all, my husband has been away for 2 weeks since all this blew up but will be home in 3 days. My son and daughter are here from uni and I have some lovely friends, especialy my dragon boat girls. I have to admit I am not actually sitting at the computer in the middle of the night as I live in Dubai! We are UK +4 so I am somewhere between you, Sarah and Barbara. I hope your preparations for the 5kms are going well, Barbara. Get those endorphins going, they are the best thing!! I will keep you posted on my results.
Love,
Ann