Hi Just had to let you know I have had another great day today.
Been out with my cousin, her daughter and a friend to a craft fair. It was at Lewtrenchard Manor, which was beautiful. We had tea and scones, did a bit of Christmas shopping. Finished off with lunch at a gourmet pub in Lifton. I could get used to that!
It was really good to sit and chat about the men in our life, and realise that alot of the thoughts I have been having, are possibly not just because of the BC, but quite possibly to do with my age, and that of the children.
Its a year tomorrow since my dad died, and I’m reliving that minute by minute. Have bought some flowers to take to the graveside, and to that of my brothers, tomorrow.Mum and I are going to go out for lunch, and keep busy.Be glad when this one is over.
It was so great to note the optimistic tone of your posting - you do seem to feel better when you get out and about doing things you enjoy so tomorrow might be a bit different - I’ll be thinking of you with your father’s anniversary and sending lots of cyber tissues.
p.s. P.S. i forgot to tell you that I saw my GP this week and he is referring me to Manchester to an expert in my specific problem area for a second opinion asap which I found a bit worrying. He agreed that if the wrong duct had been removed, the benign diagnosis coundn’t be relied upon. I was expecting him to tell me everything was now OK! Help!
You must be very worried with this second opinion referral. Why does life throw these twists and turns at us just when we feel things are going at least in a straight direction?
I wish I could see into the furure and tell you that all will be ok and therefore don’t worry, I would so like to do that for you. I can’t do that but I can be here for you and give you the support and hugs you may need! Thanks to you I have a well stocked store of cyberhugs!
I always try and find a flip side to something negative as it helps me deal with things. I guess the flip side of this situation is that it’s better to have a doctor who wants to make absolutely sure what the state of play is rather than have a dr who’s ego doesn’t allow him to accommodate the idea of bringing someone else into the picture.
You must feel so deflated as you were expecting to be told all was ok. All I can say is hang in there, I am here whenever you need someone and stay on the positive side of the fence…a very special person told me to do the same!! (you)
HI again Didn’t Cathy write a lovely message to you. I agree with all she said. You deserve a big hug, for you seem to make alot of people feel better with your words of wisdom.
Had a tough time last Thursday and Friday. Knew I would. Didn’t help that No 1 son decided to throw aload of obscenties my way. The look from hubby suggested that I had done something wrong. Resulted in me walking out, and having a good cry in the car for an hour! Felt really let down, and like I didn’t get the support I needed that day of all days.
Have since told hubby how I felt, and things have returned to fairly even keel. Is anything forever anymore? Everything seems so unstable?
It’s always good to hear from you even when things are getting you down again - I had to hide a wry smile though because what you wrote about was so close to the knuckle when mine were teenagers! Those nearest and dearest can always get straight through to you especially when you don’t feel very strong yourself. I have to confess that one of mine walked out after a showdown, went back to Uni and hardly spoke to me for ages after that until another showdown cleared the air. He is such a source of joy,laughter and support now that it merely confirms my belief that teenagers use their mother as a rock to bash their burgeoning horns of independence against. It doesn’t help if the rock is fragile though. Stand firm and if you don’t feel strong enough fake it in front of them.
Sharing your home with teenagers can be like being invaded by not very well behaved strangers who reject all your rules as stupid (the one about showing respect to your mother, for example) but if you can stay firm and hang on in there, they do truly seem to shed their muddy brown feathers and turn into the most wonderful swans once they’ve grown up. It caused so much anguish and so many rows between me and hubby that I’ve sworn ever since that the medievals knew a thing or two when they sent their offspring off to live with a relative at the age of 12 until they had served an apprenticeship and had grown to independent adults.(I presume they swopped offspring). Parents can care too much about their own kids and can be too close to them to be the best people around them while they are making that transition from dependence to independence. Look at all those Brat camp progs and similar stuff! Kids want their freedoms without the responsibilities - don’t we all!!!
I read a book around that period which talked about women going through their middlescence at about the same time as their kids hit adolescence causing absolute mayhem because each generation is struggling to emerge from the life they were leading before. And I certainly relate to that ad on TV where the mother in the supermarket throws a temper tantrum! Oh how I wish!
As for the job hunting…why not look for a retaining course? That sorts out the health issues and high-absence record on the CV and gives you an opportunity to change direction to something you’d enjoy more?
And me? I’ve been great since I got cathy’s post. It was just what I needed someone saying to turn the thing on its head and look at it a different wayThat’s what’s so great about this chat forum. I’d’ve spent ages worrying and turning it this way and that in my head. But write it down and post it and amazing things happen. I love it! It’s like having a recycling service in cyberspace. You turn my rubbish into usefulness and I’ll try and do the same for you or someone else.
Are you able to build into your life a regular “ME” time away from home and family just to do your own thing? You could do with some of your own needs being met after what you’re having to deal with.