Preparing for my death

Public Archive
21

Hello Jacqui,

I do feel for you so much; it is difficult to leave your husband and your daughter.

I have been reading the Tibetan Book of Living and Dying and, although I am not a Buddhist, I think this advice is sound. It concentrates on getting one’s mind in a peaceful state in preparation for dying. It stresses the importance of practical preparation, which you already are doing. From the book, the most difficult thing for me is to forgive those people that have treated me badly in the past. The book also says that one is supposed to forgive oneself for any regrets in life. If neither of those apply to you, then it is good. Then you already have peace.

You say that nobody can give you a timescale, but I hope that you will be able to enjoy the time you have left. Thankfully the painkillers can be very effective.

God bless.

Love,
Elena

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Hi Jacqui,

I pray to God that he will bring you peace and calm at home with your family. Your daughter will always know how much you love her and how much she is loved by everyone around her. She will have so many happy memories.

Like the others I do not want to press religion on you but I did find a verse in the Bible that may help you. John 14 1:4.

God bless you

Hi Lara,

I have been praying to God that you would return home quickly from hospital. I still find it difficult to take in your prognosis. It seems only a few months ago that you replied to my question about MV Carboplatin. You were so happy as you ended your chemo and were about to plan for your wedding.

I will continue to pray for you and your family. I pray each day for calm and peace. I pray that your husband will have the strength to support you and I pray that you will complete your list. May everyday add more happy memories.

God Bless
xxx

23

Hi Jacqui and everyone who has replied

Thank you so much for posting, sharing your experience with us - I can’t tell you how grateful I am. Everywhere I turn people don’t want to know about death and I can’t voice my real feelings, and I feel liberated by reading this - I feel washed away on a waterfall of freedom - it is exhilarating - all my thoughts and feelings echoed by you wonderful people, and not told off for saying it.

Jacqui my thoughts and prayers to you and your family. I heard something, a diary, I think, on radio 4, of Julia Darling. Very good. Also I read the Bible a lot, Job and Ecclesiastes mean a lot to me and I will have readings from them at my funeral. Also, letters of Paul, well the whole Bible really. Actually, could the lady who mentioned a woodland burial tell me some more about that please?

For a really good laugh, Miriam Engleberg, “Cancer made me a shallower person”, in cartoon strip form - she died in 06, leaving a young son and husband, and a really really brilliantly funny book. An antidote to the “inspirational” stuff which is just an exercise in denial.

I realise I am making it sound as if my death is imminent when actually, I was given the all-clear, but we have all faced our own death, and with cancer you are only as good as your last test, which is never certain anyway. I have, for the present, chosen no further treatment or tests (I may of course change my mind) - controversial I know, but surely I have the right. Death is frightening and horrible and the pain of leaving my children intolerable, and I have been so worried about my children since diagnosis, but now I can see that they do have the inner resources to cope. Jacqui I am sure yours will, they must have something of you in them, and you are doing what we all will have to do, you are treading that road a little way ahead, and giving us all strength to follow.

snowwhite

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For Snowwhite, I too have looked at woodland burials this website might be useful.
woodlandburials.co.uk/

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Thanks belinda - will follow up. Jacqui, and everyone else - just a quick hello and love and hugs.

snowwhite