Ooh Beth I got some green stuff too, we could have a fluffies “look”! I’m a dopey old Jo tonight and feel completely wiped but reflecting happily on catching up with good people and that they liked my parsnip cake!
Charys you’re right about the reasons behind the emotions, I just need to dig the old me back out! Clair such lovely news, have a blub and a virtual hug winging its way. As for you Dellywellydodah good luck tomorrow and hope you get someone lovely who knows how to listen. Helena the Brasso is out ready to polish the bell for you when the bells ring out. Xx
Soooo Delly, you forgot me did you???
Well I’ll forgive you anything Delly delicious, but anyway, I have a nasty feeling I’m not in a position to throw stones…I seem to see an edifice with strange crystal walls all around me…
I’ve been reading and not posting for a little while, having an bit of a thoughtful hour for once. I went to the library today, where I used to volunteer, and it turned out there were several people there who were fellow volunteers, so as it was coffee time, I joined them for a drink and chat. And felt really weird, like I wasn’t really there, like there was nothing they talked about which had anything to do with me. And it was all general chitchat, nothing to do with library stuff. But I sort of felt invisible and disconnected from everyone. And normally I would have joined in the girly chat and a giggle, but somehow today I couldn’t.
I’m at the stage of thinking about what to take back up now the treatment is finished. I resigned from various things once I knew I was in for the long haul, so there isn’t anything I have to do. But I don’t feel like the old me, and I’m not sure that the new me fits anywhere.
So, my friends who know everything and have experienced everything already, is this permanent or does it pass?
And apologies if it’s too deep a question for this time of night!
That was funny Helena, sending me to bed with a laugh, thank you…
Aw, Dizzy, that’s sad. I did feel kind of removed and seperate from people for quite a while after finishing rads. While having them I hid away completely, then started seeing people after, but I as I said felt kind of removed, like I’d changed in some way, not the one making everyone laugh, being the life and soul like usual and not interested in anything. Thankfully that’s faded now and I enjoy being in company again. Hopefully you’ll be the same and start to feel the old you soon. I think if I could feel better physically, get these shoulders sorted, get some proper sleep I could really move forward. I do know that I’m not constantly thinking/fretting about what if it’s still there? What if it comes back? which is progress.
Off to bed with my book now, Busy day tomorrow. Helena, so happy that you’ll be tossing for the last time tomorrow, hurrah!
Good Night to you all xx
well, popping in again before going to bed, lily, dizzy, beth, lesley, it does adjust your mindset going through all this, but I’ve found things do normalise once you get back into the usual routines again.
Going through diagnosis & treatment is so emotional & disrupting so be kind to yourselves.
I did get off lightly as I said earlier, but did have to adjust & am now feeling back to normal.
take care all
hugs
ann x
Lesley and Lily, thank you both for your wise words. So this too shall pass…
But in the meantime it’s reassuring to know I’m not alone in this.
Hope everyone has a good day tomorrow. Delly, hope your appointment goes well.
Night all
xxxx
just to add, I’ve said this on the forum before, but recently I had a lovely conversation with a work colleague who was diagnosed at 40, had ‘the works’ & had just got the 5 year all clear. She looked great, is working full time & myself & other colleagues never knew.
ann x
Oh Dizzybee and Delly I am sitting here smiling through my tears. Just an hour ago I was saying to my husband that I don’t know what to do. Literally, not one thing, there are soooo many things that I could/should do but I am so overwhelmed it is almost like I am paralysed. Since finding a lump in my left boob in August, biopsies and surgeon appts in September, surgery in October applying for my new role in October, finishing a six year (part time) uni degree and traineeship also in October, starting radiotherapy in December, graduating uni and starting a new permanent part time job in December (at the same library), Christmas, a week holiday, finishing rads two weeks ago, trying to get used to doing almost the same amount of work in half the number of work days and now … now … there is nothing… weirdest feeling. I start Tamoxifen tomorrow and am hoping the side effects aren’t too bad but apart from that there is literally nothing that I am ‘waiting for’. I feel like I have been ‘waiting’ in some form for the last five months. Thank you both for articulating my feelings. Thank god I read this right now as I was wondering what was wrong with me.
Lee xx
Hi Lee - Ooooo,
BIG Welcome to you-hoo, good to see you here, cos I get fed up with this boring lot - ha!! NEVER.
Flip that’s all happened sooo very fast for you. Am hoping you’ve recovered well, have you??
What was your degree in Lee, as you work in a library - was it English Lit??
Loads of love to you nad EVERYone else.
Big massive Delly hug to Helena ((((H&D)))) Ooooo, you squeeze so tightly H, am so gonna have to work on my biceps/triceps to give back as tightly .Last rad today - sooo bloomin pleased for you darlin woman. Dingabloomindingaling !!!
See yers soonish, if you’re lucky!! Haha, no I’m not suddenly getting arrogant. Doing my never ending teasing, of course xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Got sore lips from givin out so many kisses, someone give me some lipsalve as I need to remain kissable at all times, should I suddenly be “discovered”, be that for my singing, or someone realises just how fantastically wonderful I am and just lets me “give” of myself. In the meantime, all of you’s have to have it - lurrrrv that is. Starts making me constipated if I can’t get rid of some of it. Constipated Delly’s very similar to Tantrum Delly, 'cept more sluggish !! Slimey - yeh to those of you thinking the immediate with me. Nice!! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Morning lovelies, just popping in to say hello, hope you all have fab days and I’ll catch up later xxxxx love and hugs
LAST ONE TODAY <3. Helena. I’ll be thinking of you xxxxx
Morning glories. Helena, today’s the day we are all posed outside ready to ring and knock for you today.
Dizzy and Lily - outside looking in is where I am in my head at the moment too. Feeling very detached but have had a couple of glimmers of old me - Bath on Saturday and team meeting yesterday, so I know I’m in there somewhere! Italy will be lovely, its such a beautiful country. Ann, you are quite amazing in your positivity. Lee welcome and what a whirlwind you’ve been caught up in. Are you a fellow 1965 girl - a vintage year, although I don’t think I’ve been stored properly!
I am now procrastinating, as I need to get up and changed ready to work out thecfatigue - but I’m too fatigued! Love to all of you - name checks later! Good luck Delly too Xxx
Best wishes to Helena and Delly today…10.30 DELLY !!! LOL
Good morning everyone,
Big hello to Lee, I feel a kinship with you Lee, as although Lesley is my real name everyone calls me Lee, though Im very definately Lesley the Lush on here, or Lucious Lesley to Delicious Dolly.
Well, The Big day as arrived, our Lady Helena is tossing Off her last zap hurrah! and Delly is finally getting some help at last after helping everyone else.
Helena, Im heading out soon and won’t be back in until 6ish when I suppose I’ll have to feed us so I’m goi g to ring my bell on the way out xx
Lee…welcome !!! Delly has been so busy spamming the thread that I’ve only just spotted your post. (Only teasing Delly doo dah lol) come join us…we will understand your feelings…x
Good morning lovelies!!!
Welcome Lee!! You’ll get a massive amount of support and friendship here love. The last four months would have been very different without these ladies who have listened, reassured, cheered me up and made me laugh…on a daily basis!
Ding dong!!! Ding dong!!! Helena!!! Last one!!! You did it!!! Yayyyyyyyy!!!xxxx ???
good luck Delly today. Be thinking about you sweetheart xxx
Dizzy, how are you doing this morning? Hope you’re feeling ok xxx
hows everyone else? It’s a bright sunny morning here. I’m confined to barracks today waiting for autoglass to arrive and replace the windscreen on hubby’s car. He’s gone to see his mum for a few days so has had to take my car to the airport. So I’m home alone!! Oohhhh there is Mac too thankfully!!! I’m off out to night for food with a dear friend who has also been through so much. She lost her husband a few years ago and last year had her own cancer battle. It’s going through be lovely to put the world to rights for a couple of hours - especially as my new ‘green’ makeup sorts out my tamoxifen blotches!!! Hopefully I won’t look like shrek!!! Lol
catch you all laters!! And thank you everyone for all your lovely words yesterday. Love to you all Lesley, Clair, Ann, moijan charys, Lily, janey, have I forgotten anyone!!!
Xxx
?Ding dong Helena on high, the bells in Devon are ringing ? ? ???
Oops didn’t mean to press send quite then without a nod to everyone else. A beautiful beautiful day today, although yesterday’s work day and fatigue gym seem to have combined to glue me to the sofa - bring on Father Brown! Love to all ? Delly how went it? Xx
Lesley I was reading a post of yours from earlier where you said about feeling on the outside I feel totally the same as you. I can see people looking at me differently and they stop half way through conversations because they think I’ll get upset, only the people who have been there from the start treat me the same as they did. It’s so frustrating.
I find I’m putting in the extra effort to make them feel ok.
Anyway work is helping me get some normality back and I’ve found the more I do the better I feel, it’s helped with my sleeping as well as I’m properly tired.
Hello Lee and welcome xxx
Delly it’s so fab to have you back I’ve missed you lots xxxx huge hugs xxxxxx
Mary I hope your first day back went ok xxxx
Thank you Beth,. Janey, Lily and everyone for your love and support.
Much love and big hugs Clair xxxxxxxx
? Lily the popularity of this thread leads to lots of crossing posts. It’s a bit like that game “consequences” with the piece of paper you wrote on, folded over and passed on, to tell a funny tale! Father Brown definitely not hilarious and the TV seems to have broken - I may have to try and move ?
Clair I’m with you on the frustration. Thank goodness for those that have been here since the start! Xxx